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Dane Cook made fun of Vanessa Hudgens at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday for some nude photos of her that leaked to the internet, and needless to say, YIKES. You guys probably already know about this through the secret password-protected NO PARENTS ALLOWED gossip sites that you check on your Fischer Price “My First Smartphone”s when you’re not doing your homework (because homework stinks, it is not the bomb at all!), but for us senior citizens, this is all news. Dane Cook, you guys. The best dude! He saw a perfect opportunity to insult a 21-year-old child actress about an unfortunate invasion of her privacy in front of a room full of children, in a broadcast for NICKELODEON. Well played, Mr. Cook. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

The moment was edited out of last night’s broadcast. But you can watch it after the jump.

Hahaha? I think what makes it so funny is the sassy voice he delivers the “joke” in? Is that why I can’t stop laughing at this?

For as horrible as this whole thing is (oh, sorry, yeah, I’ve been using “sarcasm” for most of this post! Ask your English teacher about it) the look of deflation and nervous defeat on Dane Cook as his joke bombs, before they cut back to the close up of Vanessa Hudgens’s rightfully unamused face, is totally great. “Huh? But that joke killed when I was doing it in front of the mirror!” What an idiot.

Have you read his Twitter? Holy shit! I don’t even have anything funny to say about it, it’s just the worst Twitter.

Got bit by a spider. I know, “with great power comes great responsibility.” I’m ready. No web shooting yet, just mild diarrhea.

Jokes! At a certain point, I think we just need to stop believing that he exists and he’ll disappear. I don’t mean from the entertainment industry, either. I mean from existence. I know how things work. Poof! (Thanks for the tip, Aaron.)

Comments (98)
  1. BRB POS

  2. I’m pretty sure this guy has never made me laugh. He irritates the living shit out of me.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  3. I love this. Vanessa Hudgens’ expression screams, “You fucking idiot. Do you have any idea how many preteen girls I could have at your throat in ten seconds with a simple myspace status?”

  4. I hope that’s a voice he’s working on for a Shrek. Maybe a super-sassy frog or something? Whatever it is, the world needs more. Phones are for phonecalls, indeed.

  5. Aaron, that’s me gabe!15 minutes of internet fame or whatever.

  6. I’m just waiting for McG and Dane Cook to collaborate on an action comedy. That should finally set off the rapture. Jesus here I come!

  7. what a ram roder.

  8. I feel like this should be a Teen Korner post. Sexting is totes relevant to the teen experience! So is Chandler Bing, who I am pretty sure is the news anchor in that clip.

  9. That wasn’t even a joke. That was just a mean-spirited, juvenile exercise in assholery.

    Well…I….I guess that’s ALL Dane Cook’s ‘jokes’ are….

  10. Way to be topical Cook. When did those photos come out? A few years ago at least, right? The internet is fast Dane, try to keep up.

    • There’s actually newly leaked pictures (that she took of herself with her phone, possibly underage)… my girlfriend is watching TMZ when I get home from work. (I feel like I need to explain how I knew that info)

  11. Dane Cook’s main fanbase seems to be 15 year old girls and frat boys. That seems to be who Family Guy appeals to as well…
    Can someone the demographic ovelap there?

    • The pie chart for the demographics of Dane Cook fans, Family Guy fans, and assholes is basically three circles stacked right on top of each other, so it would be pointless to make an illustration when you can picture a single circle filled with assholes.

  12. He is THE WORST. It’s impossible for me to imagine that anyone actually likes him. That will be the question at judgment day – did you like Dane Cook? Yes? Yes? Access through the pearly gates – DENIED!!!!!

  13. Oooh I bet Seth Macfarlane is pissed…now he’s going to start a whole new Vanessa Hudgens joke list.
    (BTW Seth Macfarlane makes joke lists…and they consist of the same “joke” written down 10-15 times.)

  14. Vimmy  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 +6

    Wait, Teen Choice Awards or Kids’ Choice Awards?

    • Because that difference is incredibly important? Like, instead of being an asshole (teen choice) he could be a super asshole(kids choice)?

  15. Dane Cook might be an asshole but you can’t argue with his wardrobe choice. I hope they run my request on where I can find that shirt in EW’s Style Hunter. If not I’ll just ask Jon Gosselin.

    • At first, I thought those lightning bolts were coming out of my eyes, but then I realized it was just Dane Cook’s douchebaggery in full flight. The outfit would have been even better had that shirt been paired with Kevin Smith’s super longshorts from Comic Con.

  16. Skip  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 -41

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  17. “Hey that’s the guy who waves his fingers around like he is going to shove two of them into a vagina and one of them into a butthole! Let’s book him!”- Nickelodeon

  18. Oh, he’ll get his. Next year he’ll be the opening act for foxy boxing at the Juggalo gathering, doing the same material. “Hey, Vanessa! No one wants to see your neden hole! Am I right, ninjas?!”

  19. Everything all of you said plus he has a stupid name.
    This guy is bad!

  20. I don’t get it…he protects his tweets??

  21. oh, well at least those reporters are havin’ themselves a good laugh about that very important news clip

  22. This is one of those situations where I take no sides because both people are horrible. It’s like tween jon and kate plus h8

  23. AAARRGHHHHH!!! Flames! Flames on the side of my face!!!!

    He’s as despicable as a hate crime. I don’t have much love for these blackberry mousketeers, but that elderly ape should not be fucking allowed into the toddler shows, spitting that bullshit.

  24. Ok, so obviously I’m not up on what the kids are into these days, but who exactly is Vanessa Hudgens?

    That said, Dane Cook is an unfunny douchebag no matter who or what he’s making “jokes” about.

  25. Mabuk  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 +21

    When is this dude going to stop ripping off Raaaaaandy?

  26. Grouchomarxist  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 -3

    Everyone, it’s ok. Dane Cook got so much ass that night Chris Hansen made a house call.

  27. Zac Efron is gonna kick his ass. Or challenge him to a dance-off.

  28. Dane Cook is incredibly useful because he’s the ultimate dealbreaker. Answer this: do they like Dane Cook? If yes, shut it down!

  29. Terry...Just Terry  |   Posted on Aug 11th, 2009 -4

    Anyone seen the Love Guru?

  30. DUDE CLASSSIC…..Dude it’s like that one joke he tells about the Burger King and that lady with the sweet and sour sauce and pickles all over her body and “somebody shit all over the coats!” and uhh BLT’s (or B n E I can never remember cuz it’s so fukin hilarious) and waving his hands and screaming and beating you in the head with a microphone until you laugh and him crying….I DID MY BEST!!!! Classic bro

  31. DUDE CLASSSIC…..Dude it’s like that one joke he tells about the Burger King and that lady with the sweet and sour sauce and pickles all over her body and “somebody shit all over the coats!” and uhh BLT’s (or B n E I can never remember cuz it’s so fukin hilarious) and waving his hands and screaming and beating you in the head with a microphone until you laugh and him crying….I DID MY BEST!!!! Classic bro

  32. I mean, I guess it was funny. I just couldn’t tell exactly when to laugh, I was waiting for “DAAAAAAAANE”.

  33. You people obviously cannot handle his EDGE. He is like Eddie Murphy circa 1983, if 1983 was made of tweens and boob jokes.

  34. Holy shit, I’ve never noticed it before, but Dane Cook has a fucking enormous head. Like comically large, like when you’d put do the “big head code” in NBA Jam large. Wow. How does someone’s head get that big?

    • You guys remember that right? When you’d “put do” the big head code in NBA Jam? If you’ll excuse me, I need to put do this shame bag over my head.

  35. They should have hired this kid to make jokes at VanHudg’s expense. He knows what’s going on:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVwQwAqKJE4

  36. silly tweenagers and the silly nude photos they store on their camera for no goddamn reason…

  37. also, what’s with the creepy, overly enthusiastic, southern adult man who sets up the clip? he’s so excited about this Nickelodeon awards show moment.

  38. gabe, how did you get to read dane cook’s twitter? I apparently need to SEND IN A REQUEST to read his stupid jokes and in turn put a gun in my mouth. WHY WONT HE LET ME?

  39. now would be an awesome time to make fun of Dane Cook for being an extra in the film ‘Mystery Men’. WAFFLE MAN!

  40. I find him hilarious…

  41. nooneknows  |   Posted on Aug 12th, 2009 0

    that reporter’s neck is eating his face. we need to have a turkeyneck benefit. little donny style. maybe we can book the titte brothers. who’s with me?

  42. We did not get the Vanessa Hudgens joke at my retirement home, so I had to Google her. And I do mean the royal “we.”

  43. I prefer Dane Cook’s more serious work. His role in Dan In Real Life can only be overshadowed by his stellar performance in Mr Brooks. After I watched Tourgasm I began to wish that I had millions of dollars to cast him in films and put him on adolescent cable network shows. Absolutely fantastic.

  44. I think I would give everything in my bank account to videotape myself shitting on this guys face.

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