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Oh, this is great. Since Joe Rogan never took Dan Quinn’s bait, a feud between Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan will have to do. Which is fine, since Joe Rogan and Jeremy Piven are basically the same person. They are both the poor man’s version of each other. From the New York Daily News:

Backstage at Alexa Chung’s MTV talk show on Thursday, the “Entourage” star got into a screaming match with fellow comic Chris Kattan over the fishy situation.

Kattan – who’s been in town talking up his IFC miniseries “Bollywood Hero” – greeted Piven with a snarky, “So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?”

HAHAHA, OK, FIRST OF ALL: a feud between two grown men that begins “backstage at Alexa Chung’s MTV talk show” is already basically EPIC. But also Chris Kattan got in a pretty good zing! You know, because of Jeremy Piven’s persistent Fish Lie. He’s the zingonator, makin’ copiiiiieees. (That’s Chris Kattan, right? Perfect.)

Anyway, Jeremy Piven, like all bullies, smiled and laughed and realized that he was an adult, and that he could take some gentle teasing from a fellow professional comedian, so the two men shook hands and put it all behind them.

Just kidding.

Piven, who famously dropped out of “Speed the Plow” in December, is in a legal battle with producers who believe the actor fabricated his illness in order to get out of completing his contract, and was none too happy to be reminded of the incident.

The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” – a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character.

HA! That is a pretty good zing, too! Jeremy Piven, head of his own Zingtourage, makin’ copiiiiies.

Since they are two grown men who’ve built careers on their abilities to make and take a joke, though, this is where it ended, with a couple of well traded barbs, backstage at a television show for teenagers.

Oh, no? Right, no.

The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.

Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man – I thought we were just fooling around here.’”

Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”

Our source adds, “Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris’ face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.

“Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn’t mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn’t having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris’ face AGAIN.”

Haha. Man, Jeremy Piven. Just the best dude. It’s incredible how he’s able to portray a mean-spirited, overly aggressive, self-involved, petulant, narcissistic nightmare of a shithead on television. Acting! I bet he wins an Emmy for this feud.

Comments (50)
  1. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  2. “C’mon Jeremy…I don’t know, what can I do? what else can I say? its all for you.”
    “Don’t hurt me… no more.”

  3. If Jeremy Piven and Joe Rogan were in a room together and one of them was evil, I wouldn’t know which one to shoot.
    But that would never happen. Because both of them are evil.
    Shoot them both is the solution to this problem. Every time.

  4. @THE_REAL_SHAQ Just saw all my favorite actors and actresses. I even got corky ramonos autograph. Whewwwwwww

  5. It must’ve been like watching two jockey’s fighting.

  6. I’m guessing this wasn’t the point of this, but I’ve got a bit of respect of Chris Kattan now.

  7. Perhaps, upon seeing each other, they realized their own insignificance in this world. And essentially they were saying to one another, “you suck!”, “no, you suck!!!”. But inside they were thinking, “yes, i really do suck”. I will now go home and cry into a vat of marshmallows – because they are my only true friends.

  8. In the movie version of this a turd sandwich will be playing the part of Piven, while a giant douchebag will portray Kattan. Right? RIght?

  9. I forgot Chris Kattan even existed.

  10. How loud do you think Piven was crying? (Piven is totally the kind of guy who cries in private and then rides friends for being “pusses” and “gay.” Basically he’s this one guy I went to high school with. Ugh.)

  11. The NYDN referring to Piven as a comic is an insult to comics.

  12. Chris wins for best ZING!

  13. relax, technojeremypiven.

    • DAMN IT, I was meticulously scanning these comments to make sure no one used that before I could say it. I am very sure I should not be as upset about this as I am.

  14. “The actors continued to bark for a few minutes…”

    Really? I never knew a KATtan could bark! Ha Ha right, guys?

    Don’t worry, I’ll show myself out.

  15. I kindly ask that you cease and desist with any future Piven news items. It reflects badly on my image of him simply as a man who happens to be in every single John Cusak movie.

  16. OH YEAH JEREMY PIVEN WELL NICE HAIR PLUGS! YOU ARE BALD!

  17. I wonder how many people watching this just burst out laughing. I also want to know what the real personal thing was.

  18. Sure the Piv (that’s right, I’m too busy use his full name. I’m important and have numerous business activities to attend to, like freelance graphic design) is a jerk who can’t take a joke, but he’s a key cog in “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.”

  19. I want to know what Piven said to Kattan that was so personal and hurtful that the battle had to end.

  20. Boy do I have a surprise for you! A friend interviewed Tommy Wiseau this weekend. A good 35 minutes of Tommy-Time on the telephone! TW complimented my friend’s voice.

  21. Color me disappointed. I was hoping for an “I am an adult” JPEG at the end of the post a la McG or Seth MacFarlane. Piven’s in great company there!

  22. The Piv was promoting his new movie by appearing on Big Brother this weekend, so it must be tough to have a million undeserved Emmys and still have a sadder career than Chris Kattan.

  23. A few years back Christ Kattan was going to be in a Broadway musical with Nathan Lane but was fired during the previews because he wasn’t good enough. These guys are both. great. actors.

  24. Snakesterbator  |   Posted on Aug 10th, 2009 -4

    Jeremy Piven: You’re toupee called. It’s wants it’s personality back.

  25. Piven’s the worst, but seriously though — he was there promoting Mango, right?

  26. I met Chris Kattan in the city once….he was walking down the street with this really tall blonde (well maybe not so tall, he is after all like 5 foot 4) but I stopped in my place, shot a look back like “that guy looks oddly familiar, is he on the television?” and he must of caught me doing this and he stopped as well, smiled the biggest smile possible, and winked. Needless to say I had Chris Kattan nightmares for weeks

  27. It’s sad that Alexa Chung is the biggest star in this situation.

  28. Who the hell is Alexa Chung and why does she have her own show?
    Am I missing something?

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