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Oh wow. This is the worst! Do you remember that movie that you didn’t see because no one saw it called I Love You, Beth Cooper? It was like the poor man’s Can’t Hardly Wait, as if Can’t Hardly Wait wasn’t already the poor man’s Can’t Hardly Wait. Well, they came up with a pretty “clever” viral marketing scheme for their movie. Gawker reports (via the Wall Street Journal):

They paid Kenya Mejia $1,800 to say “I love you, Jake Minor!” in her actual graduation speech, the idea being that she would say she was inspired to call out her crush by seeing the same thing done in this movie, “I Love You, Beth Cooper.” Then the video of this would “go viral,” supposedly.

Woof. Congratulations, corporate headhunters. It looks like your feverish search for a new CEO of Bad Idea Jeans has ended.

What a dumb idea!

Not only did the plan simply not work, since the “viral” video remains stalled at 2,000 views (also, a professional camera crew shot this to look like a home video? Because they did a REALLY good job [shitty]. I hope they charged $100,000,000,000 for their efforts) and the movie bombed and it didn’t even get Jake Minor to fall in love with her (and also she has a boyfriend), but it violated the number one rule of Don Draper’s Rules of Marketing: be drunk on whiskey in another woman’s bed know your audience. Viral video aside, valedictorians are NERDS. That’s just a FACT. How are you going to convince teenagers to spend their hard earned Bubble Tape money (I know what the kids are up to) on a movie if the best person you can find to hype it is some dweeb giving a boring speech that has nothing to do with weed or fucking?!

Someone should shove whoever came up with this plan in a locker.

Comments (31)
  1. Oh, man…IRL??? NO WAY!!!

  2. Only in LA….

  3. Paul Cooley  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +6

    I says the guy who came up with this farce has spikey hair and ed hardy scented candles in his bathroom.

    • What’s the spikey hair in his bathroom for? Is it for scrubbing the toilet? Is it for rincing his Cristal-and-Coke-vomit-soiled ‘No, I’m Not On Facebook’ tanktop in the sink? Is it for scrubbing his mouth after the brainstorm meeting at Idiot South-Central, where he came up with this idea? Please answer soon, Paul, because I can’t sleep.

  4. It’s occurred to me that Videogum is now so much Gabe (RIP Lindsay Never Forget :( :(:( ) that it’s basically just reading Gabe’s Live Journal or something, and that makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Like I know too much…

  5. cubiclechaos  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +1

    valedictorians are loved by our nation’s youth, pretty much second only to that dude who sings the helen keller song.

  6. I remember Bubble Tape! Do the kids still chew that stuff?

  7. You could really feel how that last part came straight from her heart.

  8. I prefer to spend my money on Handi-Snacks and Gushers.

  9. Things like this make me hate advertising folk. According to this, the marketing team’s hypothesis was that the only thing stopping people from seeing “Beth Cooper” was that there wasn’t a viral video tied to it. Not the fact that the movie looked like shit, not the fact that no one cared about the movie in the first place, not the fact that Hayden Pana-tana-whatshername was the only “star” in it.

    Nope, the kids needed to see someone they don’t know in a Youtube video say something tangentially related to the movie they didn’t care about in the first place. Marketers, earning their consulting fee. That’s why the Keyboard Cat movie opened at 100 mil.

  10. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  11. We don’t even know Gabe’s age. He’s like 56 right?

  12. …and as we move forward with our lives and step bravely into the world, we know that the experiences and friendships we have shared will stay in our hearts forever, guiding us in our darkest hours and propelling us into a bright and wondrous future.

    And I’d like to take this last opportunity to say that Tostino’s Pizza Rolls are the ultimate snack for after school, after soccer practice, or any time. Available in a variety of flavors, Tostino’s Pizza Rolls are truly fast fuel for kids on the go, from the microwave or hot out of the oven.

    Thank you.

  13. And now she’ll forever associate high school with a shitty movie everyone else (rightly) forgot about and a “viral” video nobody else saw. I hope she was at least paid handsomely.

    Also isn’t the first rule of viral marketing club not to be so freaking obvious about it? “Inspired by the movie I Love You Beth Cooper. . .” isn’t something you should script into the damn speech.

  14. If I were her boyfriend I would be pissedddd. She sold him out for $1,800?

  15. madfishes  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 -2

    youre just contributing to this shittyness gabe. how about everyone pretends it doesnt exist

  16. that guy with the afro behind her… was that Phil Spector? OMG, run girl, run!!!

  17. I hate I love you, beth cooper because I saw it.

  18. langford  |   Posted on Jul 29th, 2009 0

    I was valedictorian. I’m not cool. :(

  19. I am doing a research on viral marketing. The purpose of this study is to analyze three successfulviral marketing campaigns. if you want to participate, please click this link:http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=kir1HOU0ur4YjWIbqTy1QQ_3d_3d

    Thanks

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