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Good morning. You stink.

I love when Adam Jay, excuse me, Dr. Adam Jay, says that you can use Aspray ANYWHERE on your body in a tone of voice that suggests that there are places on your body that you haven’t even heard of. Relax, doctor. We’ve all used a pocket mirror to explore ourselves entirely and written our own vagina monologue to share with that special someone on our wedding night. There is nowhere that your hack basement deodorant could inevitably fail to work as advertised that we haven’t thought of before.

Oh wait.

Did you say your butt?!

Whuuuuuut?! But I’ve had this massive table covered in “expensive” deodorants for years and nothing has been usable on my butt. Just to clarify, you can use this on your butt? To get rid of butt odor? Could you repeat that, Doc Bottoms, I am still unclear on whether or not you can use ass spray on your butt.

Something tells me that Lanny F. uses a whole bottle of this stuff every day just on his hands to get rid of that weird hand smell that he has. And a slow release Aspray stick you know where for all day coverage. (SORRY. FOR EVERYTHING.)

Comments (60)
  1. I was not convinced until he said “PLUS, IT’S MADE IN THE U.S.A.” What? Sign me up!!! I want literally a table of Aspray to replace my current table of butt-unfriendly deodorants, stat!

  2. Finally! Now I can get that same great butt smell without the use of annoying toilet paper. I think if they combined this with the Comfort Wipe we’d have one hell of a product.

  3. Shit got a little “Basic Instinct” there — I didn’t care for that one bit, AssSpray.

  4. Rather than Aspraying your “privates”, maybe you should just see a doctor about that crotch stink.

    • Whenever I hear “privates” used in that way, I’m instantly transported back to fourth grade watching those weird videos about how to avoid child molesters. I’m not sure what was creepier about those things, the weird actors or the strange analog synthesizer music that was always in the background.

  5. It’s a shame this wasn’t invented 150 years ago, An Aspray joke would killed in the fart joke scene in Road to Wellville.

  6. eric  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +7

    Thank god! When you ))<>(( as much as I do, it’s nice to keep it smelling fresh down there!

  7. Guy  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +3

    AsSpray? Woo never wiping my ass again!

  8. I’VE GOT ODORS IN SPECIAL PLACES!

  9. rectum? it darn near killed him!

  10. I thought this was way too snooty a product for my common-man self, that is until Lanny F. brought it on home. I have odor in special places, too. Like a b/o snowflake.

  11. Phew! I’ve been looking for a spray to cure the massive amounts of green gas emanating from my body.

  12. pauly  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +3

    skin-febreeze? why not just soap?
    also, what pipe was that one plumber going to work on?

  13. Wait … is boob stink an actual thing?

  14. Glenn Beck just crapped his pants with joy.

  15. Finally they invented something for that stubborn cleavage stench.

  16. I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am for this you guys

  17. Pete  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +5

    Billy Mays…gone too soon.

  18. Wait, I thought Axe was the body spray for douchbags…

  19. It’s so convenient, like having one of these…

    … in your pocket!

  20. DonLapreUndercoverAngel  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +5

    Favorite Scene: @ the end someone is “pre-treating” a pair of boxers… on a hanger?!?!

  21. DonLapreUndercoverAngel  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +1

    Revelation: in the pre-treating the boxers scene I HOPE it is just a pre-treatment… I shudder to think that with washing machine in spitting distance this was not insinuating the boxers could be “freshened-up” in lieu of actually WASHING them…

  22. DonLapreUndercoverAngel  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +3

    Revelation: in the pre-treating the boxers scene I HOPE it is just a pre-treatment… I shudder to think that with washing machine in spitting distance this was not insinuating the boxers could be “freshened-up” in lieu of actually WASHING them…

  23. “Just use Aspray in your room when you do it. :)
    -Yahoo Answers response

  24. Chris  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +12

    Nothing is chemical-free. That makes negative sense.

  25. This makes me very uncomfortable. Please stop talking about malodorous butts and privates, sir.

  26. That lady who sprayed her vagina is your coworker.

  27. Katers  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +7

    Maybe if the second plummer hadn’t practically shoved his face up the guy’s butt he wouldn’t have been so offended by the beastly odor.

  28. amy  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2009 +2

    i dont have an odor prolem but i do have unsightly green steam emanating from many of my body parts. can aspray help me?

  29. This product would be perfect for the Gathering of the Juggalos, ninjas.

  30. Man, don’t you hate it when you go right for your co-worker’s ass crack and it smells?

    Also, ew, ew, ew, ew, no. A thousand times no. Thanks a lot, Gabe.

  31. “Hack Basement Deodorant” is something I would buy, actually.

  32. “Give it to your smelly friend.”

  33. Pshh, call me when they come out with a spray that promises to deodorize my ass, genitals, AND taint. And by “call me”, I mean “BLOG ME”. [/theinternet]

  34. This was actually a deleted scene from The Road to Wellville Director’s Cut.

  35. Watch for Lanny F.’s new sitcom on ABC this 2009 Fall Season.
    He’s the professional contractor……of our hearts.
    “and… and my butt”

    (seriously this guy needs to be Ray Romano’s dad or whatever the kids are watching these days)

  36. Shit is fake. You know shit is fake when it says “CALL NOW!” and there’s no number.

  37. If you cross your legs before you spray, Skirt Lady, you’re not going to hit the money spot.

  38. this is perfect actually. I was getting tired of having to keep my can of spray on PAM in the bathroom.

  39. Whew! I can finally stop using breath mints…. down there.

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