[Originally posted on August 14th, 2013.]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From the NY Post:

A prowler broke into the Greenwich Village apartment of famed “Wolverine” actress Famke Janssen and left a creepy calling card — the children’s book, “The Lonely Doll,” the Dutch stunner told cops.

Janssen came home to her King Street penthouse at about 8:10 p.m. on Saturday and found the children’s book conspicuously left in her bedroom, she’s said. “She walked into her bedroom and noticed a children’s book standing on the shelf beside her bed,” a law enforcement source said.

The model, actress and writer called police, but detectives couldn’t find any signs of forced entry and nothing appears to have been stolen, law enforcement sources said.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! No signs of forced entry? Famke! Did you leave your door open? IN A POST-THE BLING RING WORLD? If not then I think we have a pretty clear ghost situation on our hands. (Though, it can be said that every ghost situation is a pretty “clear” ghost situation, if you know what I mean! Hahaha.) (Ghosts are clear!) After the jump, we EXCLUSIVELY have the transcript of Famke’s call with the police. Maybe that will give us a little more insight into the situation!

Famke Janssen: Hello, Police? This is Famke Janssen, I have–
Police: Oh my god — Famke Janssen?! You’re so beautiful!
Famke Janssen: Oh, thank you, but–
Police: Seriously. Like, you’re one of the most beautiful.
Famke Janssen: Thank you, but I have a break-in to report.
Police: Oh no. Okay. What happened?
Famke Janssen: Uh. Well, okay, I came home to my King Street penthouse at about 8:10 p.m–
Police: Mmhmm.
Famke Janssen: –And everything seemed fine, but then I walked into my bedroom–
Police: Mmmhm.
Famke Janssen: –Uh. Okay, so I walked into my bedroom and on my bedside shelf there was this children’s book–
Police: NO!
Famke Janssen: –called The Lonely Doll. So, I don’t know when someone came it, nothing else looks disturbed, but if you could send someone out–
Police: OH MY GOD.
Famke Janssen: What!?
Police: That’s so fucking scary!!!!
Famke Janssen: I know! Can you send someone?!
Police: DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE A GHOST?!
Famke Janssen: What? No! I think it’s a human, and they might still be here! Please send someone!!!
Police: A ghost would totally do that, though.
Famke Janssen: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about, please send someone quickly.
Police: That’s so fucking scary. The Lonely Doll, you said?! AHHH! That is so creepy. I have goosebumps! What is that book about?
Famke Janssen: I don’t know! PLEASE SEND A COP TO MY HOUSE.
Police: Dolls in general are creepy, but the LONELY doll? That was a very good spooky ghost choice.
Famke Janssen: –
Police: Like, I hate scary ghosts, don’t get me wrong, but I have to hand it to this one. He or she really chose an excellent ghost memento to leave behind.
Famke Janssen: IT WASN’T A GHOST. IT WAS A HUMAN WHO BROKE INTO MY HOME. PLEASE SEND SOMEONE.
Police: How can you be so sure?!
Famke Janssen: Are you fucking kidding me right now.
Police: Famke!
Famke Janssen: Listen, I need you to send the police to my house.
Police: The band?! Ha-ha. I’ll try, but I think Sting is busy! HAaahah.
Famke Janssen: –
Police: Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll send someone right away.
Famke Janssen: Thank you.
Police: But do take pictures around the book. See if there are any orbs!!!
Famke Janssen: –
Police: Hello?
Famke Janssen: –
Police: Famke?
Famke Janssen: –

And that’s the end of the call! So spooky. I hope Famke gets the ghost out of her home soon!

[Originally posted on August 14th, 2013.]

[Update on September 19th.]

Comments (15)
  1. THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!!! KELLY I LOVE YOU LOVE IS FOREVER FAN LOVE YOU!

  2. hotspur  |   Posted on Feb 5th +11

    And then it turned out her call was coming from inside the house.

  3. Famke Janssen was in The Faculty. People forget that.

  4. topknot  |   Posted on Feb 5th +12

    This still keeps me up at night.

  5. This is great, but it also hits a little too close to home, because I am no joke haunted by a Teddy Ruxpin. I had it for some reason, and since it’s creepy as shit I decided to trash it when I moved to Michigan. But when I unpacked, THERE IT WAS. Threw it away (again) and thought no more of it until 2 years later when I went to find stuff for a garage sale, and the fucking thing was just chillin’ in my garage. Nobody wanted to buy it, and now I don’t want to anger it, so it’s still being stored in the back of the garage. Clearly, he has made that his lair.

  6. I reread this the other day and the police/Famke conversation was is and will 4eva be great.

  7. Yes, but was it a ghost pirate or a pirate ghost?

  8. I always found the Famke Janssen haunted book posts to be spine-tingling.

    (Guys, I’m overstocked on applause gifs. This Videogum news really couldn’t have come at a worse time.)

  9. This is the best Kelly post I’ve ever read.

  10. I can’t believe I missed this getting posted AGAIN! Ghosts and books and STILL my favorites!

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