“Well let me ask YOU something, Greg: what about my dreams? Do you ever think about my dreams? We’ve been living in this crap apartment for six years. I work two jobs. I’ve given up everything, EVERYTHING for you. And what sacrifices have you made? You’ve never worked for more than a month. All of our money goes into VJ Classes and cab fare to VJ auditions. Did you ever once stop to think that maybe I had things that I wanted to do with my life besides being a “captain” at Trader Joe’s and doing data entry for the Ear, Nose, and Throat Clinic? I used to be pretty good at painting, Greg. But I don’t know the last time I picked up a paintbrush. I never have the time. And I’m not saying that I could even have made it as a painter, but I could have tried. I’ve never been to Europe, Greg. You used to talk about taking me there and we even had a Europe Jar where we would put spare change. What happened to that jar, Greg? That’s right, you emptied it on a new “practice microphone” with a personalized mic flag that said “Greg Is World’s Best VJ.” Europe, hell, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been to a nice restaurant! I love you, Greg, and I want this for you almost as bad as you want it for yourself. But my patience is wearing thin on this “dream.” We all have dreams, honey. Or at least we used to.”
–You

(Thanks for the tip, Fence Pals.)

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Comments (25)
  1. I have no idea what that was like for Greg, but that was the longest 107 seconds of my life.

  2. Mabuk  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 +2

    Very nice!

  3. fencepals  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 0

    No problem boss.

  4. Gabe, you are on FIRE today. (no AnAmericanPatriot-capsmo)
    Seriously getting back to where you were before the Lindsay leaving kind of dampened things for a couple days.
    But only a couple days!
    Love this.
    Still miss Lindsay.

  5. Bikini–MMMM! But seriously it’s good to see William Hung’s little brother finally stepping up to the plate.

  6. Is he talking backwards?

  7. Not for nothing, but I had to watch it 3 times before I understood he was saying “Summer”.

  8. SOMEONE’S been reading(or watching) revolutionary road.

  9. “For me, summer means you’re going to bitch and you are try all de underwater adventurer.” Greg > Chet.

  10. Gmarley  |   Posted on Jul 17th, 2009 +3

    Does MTV still use VJ’s? Because I mean, this is exactly what I would expect out of them. He’s just speaking in text message.

  11. Does he purposely use Borat’s accent, or can he not help it?

  12. We can go down to the bitch? Excuse me, Greg? No… No, I think YOU can go down to the bitch. I am leaving.

  13. ESL class project is the only explanation I have.

  14. VJ Hunt – Greg

    [Hand holding sign stating "Video #1- Greg"]

    Greg

    (in breathless, broken english)

    “Yo, whats up, whats up.

    Yo, we’re here, uh-n the oh…”

    (nervous pursed lips)

    “Pss-on.. the N.S.”

    (Flash peace sign, stupid grin, ‘O’ face.

    After long, awkward pause. Receive okay

    from off-camera to continue)

    “So… ye-right now y-we are here on thay sp. The uh-Summer.

    Lat-well let’s think about Summer!

    Sew, it’s time to party, right? Sew…

    What we do-eh right here in Summer?

    veecations?

    Actually, we…we do the uh…

    we clean the beaches, right? And…

    of course, before, before uh-Summer comes.

    We…we do the uh…

    we clean the beaches

    and [unclear] all the tents are up, packed, ready?

    And you are going to the malls.

    and, actually, you’re going to buy your favorite

    swimsuits. Espouncy, especially for the girls, right?

    A-and for the boys, your favorite bikini.

    Mmmm!

    Sew-l, what are y-waiting for?”

    [as Borat]

    “Go on to de beach,”

    “and prior lack to have the bikini.

    Bikinis!

    And, I know there is a lot of guys there

    that you want to halve… Tea uh

    Doowell, look at the girls.”

    (Use not-mic hand to make a gesture that

    only you understand as ‘girls’)

    “Mmm!”

    [as Borat]

    “Ew know what?”

    “You know what? You’re doing it right.

    Your, your eyes. Okay, Sew-ulf…”

    (Thinking with ‘Yo’-gesturing hand extended)

    Ho-we, wa-du-deus sam-ma mints.

    [as Borat]

    “You’re going to beach.”

    “You’re trying all the-uh…

    all the under water adventure

    and all these sports fest that we have here, right?

    Sew…

    I’m BJ Greg,”

    [as Borat]

    “Signing off!”

    (Peace out signed in direction of exit with non-mic hand.

    Walk off drunkenly)

  15. He has an interesting hobby during summer with the cleaning the bitches and all.

  16. hermano  |   Posted on Jul 18th, 2009 0

    Don’t mess with Greg, guys, or you’ll all see mayhem.

  17. Sounds like a dying robot who?s function was to translate Asian tourists.

  18. I kept waiting for that “boom goes the dynamite” moment. But after reading that transcript, I realize that the whole video is a “boom goes the dynamite’ moment.

  19. rmendoz  |   Posted on Jul 20th, 2009 0

    I want to go to sport fest on the beach

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