Benedict Cumberbatch just signed on to star in the upcoming film Blood Mountain, which Variety says, “follows a private military contractor whose special forces team is ambushed and killed during a covert raid, forcing him to personally escort one of the world’s most wanted terrorists over hostile terrain in order to bring him to justice.” Hmmm, interesting. But what do you think he’s going to SAY in it? Huh. Good question! Here are some guesses:

  • “I signed up for mountain, not BLOOD mountain.”
  • “If you told me two weeks ago that I’d be personally escorting one of the world’s most wanted terrorists over hostile terrain on Blood Mountain I would have been like, ‘Yeah, right. BLOOD mountain?’”
  • “This mountain is the worst!”
  • “I told them that I wasn’t good with blood, so they send me to a mountain called BLOOD MOUNTAIN? It’s like — it’s just completely disrespectful. That’s the last straw, seriously. I’m done.”
  • “Ugh, I already hated being on this mountain. Now I have to spend my time here with a TERRORIST? Could this get any shittier?!”
  • “I vant to suck yo’r bluuud…mouuuntain! Haha. Ahhh. I am sad, though. And scared!”
  • “I’m either going to bring you to justice or we’re both going to die here on Blood Mountain. And I definitely don’t want to die here, because — well, I already explained my feelings about Blood Mountain, I’m not going to repeat myself.”
  • “I’ve heard of blood pudding, but is too much!”

Hmm. Good guesses!

Comments (16)
  1. How do we filter out the hemophiliacs? We don’t let them in! This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are hemophobic. But check your lease, man, because you’re living on Blood Mountain!

  2. “Blood mountain,” but said in Leo D’s weird South African accent.

  3. Do I really want to go up Blood Mountain? Oh, positive.

  4. Will he have to work with a repeating network of conservative British politicians? A circular Tory system, in other words.


  5. “Did you bring your gun as I suggested?”

  6. “Hmmm on closer look, it’s really more like a Blood Hill…”

  7. “We need to get off this mountain before winter hits. That’s when the dinosaurs come out.”

    (Think about it.)

  8. “Elementary, my dear Blood Mountain.”

  9. He will propose and I will say yes. Duh.

  10. At least it’s not poop mountain!

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