Every expert knows that in the world of sports there are three categories into which your practice may fall: ball, race, and routine. An easy way to figure out which category your sport falls into is to ask yourself, “Am I taking it to the hoop?” If you find yourself taking it to the hoop, there is a good chance that you are either in a “ball” based sport or a “routine” based sport. If your answer is “no, I am not taking it to the hoop” ask yourself, “do I know my time?” If you know your time, the possibility that you are in either a “race” or “routine” based sport rises. Of course, we are not here to discuss the ways in which an advanced player figures out his or her gamebase. We are here to discuss an exciting new sport that we would say falls into “a category of its own” if it did not already fall into the “ball” category: Taser Football. Ah, indeed! In a world of gadgets, it’s only right that some might be incorporated into the classic game! Of course, it would be a sideline blunder to waste time chatting about your boyfriend’s exciting new sport. Let’s do what non-players do and get to the video!

The old game never felt so new! Naturally, a viewer might look at this scene and think, “Oh wow, this looks very stupid and I hardly even understand the rules, also why does the ball have to be so big” but isn’t that true of any new sport? When the ancient Greeks invented the ballbase sport, did not even more ancient Greeks look upon them and think, “what are they doing?” Ah, of course, that is the nature of the game! As fans, all we have to do is love the game and accept its exciting new forms. Play– ah, we mean, tase ball! (Via reddit.)

Comments (24)
  1. BNPG: Taser Football Penalties

    Electrocution of the Neutral Zone
    Shocking in the Back
    Horse-collar taser

  2. The sport of knaves, it’s played in Thunderdome. Biting and hair pulling allowed. Sponsered by Wheaties.

  3. Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville and this looks fucking stupid.

  4. Go arrythmia or go home.

  5. “All of the sports that exist make too much sense. Let’s see if I can change that.” – the inventor of Taser Football

  6. XTREME(ly pointless)!

  7. There’s going to be so much urine on that astroturf.

  8. When did “Don’t tase me, bro” become “Do tase me, bro”?

    Working on my first stand-up set. What do you guys think?

  9. There’s nothing new under the sun. When I was growing up we called this Knife Ball

  10. I see a law and order or csi plot in the future

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