And just like that, his wish was granted — Thor had been transformed from the hammer-wielding superhero god to a regular Joe. Finally he was free to walk the streets in a suit, attempt to get some sort of office job that no one — not even his close friends — would feel comfortable asking him anything specific about, meet a lady, and not make her travel to other dimensions all the time, or whatever Natalie Portman has to do in those movies. Of course, though, he couldn’t make the transition without some sort of a sweet, little security blanket (hammer). And of course, it is now up to you to CAPTION THAT SECURITY BLANKET (HAMMER)!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. (Image via DailyMail.)

Comments (21)
  1. So that’s what Mjölnir looks like wrapped in Bifrost.

  2. It was a gift from Asgard’s Bronie Clan.

  3. I love these gritty comic reboots.

  4. Behold: THE HAMMER OF SNORE.

  5. Hammer?! I hardly know her!

  6. “I say verily, yon tempurpedic mallet has cast a sleeping spell upon mine noble brow!”

  7. Thor, God of Slumber.

  8. Come se dice Brony?

  9. Chris Helmsworth dreams of snuggling with Tom Hiddleston just like the rest of the world.

  10. “…Stay away from my shield.” –Captain America

  11. Remembering Pete Seeger

    :’(

    • Kate  |   Posted on Jan 29th +1

      If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning
      I’d hammer in the evening
      All over this land

  12. Not really relevant, like at all, (sorry!), but in high school this friend of mine grew out his afro, and another kid in our class (it’s the details that make the story) said that he looked like a microphone, and since that day I have not seen a microphone that didn’t remind me of him. Anyway, I am now picturing him sleeping on a rainbow hammer, which is a more entertaining image than what he’s actually doing, which is I think rowboating with a travel-sized guitar according to his FB profile pic?

  13. “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be dozy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

  14. Also, I didn’t read the Afternoon Link a few days back, but this is what happened to Thora Birch, yes? She became Thor? Seems right.

  15. mb  |   Posted on Jan 28th +5

    It took almost 800 years, but Eskil Magnusson finnnnnnnally has the punchline he wanted for that Snorri Sturluson Viking mythology joke. Because SNORE-Y! LOL! RIP, Eskil!!! FINALLY!

  16. Rap fans! We had this joke in law school that Nelly (the rapper?) (from our childhood?) (the one with the band-aid!) only wrote his hit single “Air Force Ones” because he needed something that rhymed with his true passion, Rare Norse Puns. So then we tried to fit viking mythology into all his songs, like “I’ll use Thor’s Hammer as a Whore Slammer while spittin’ this Country Grammar” and I’m pretty sure that’s where it ended because we couldn’t come up with a good place to fit “Valhalla at your boy,” “Valkyried ‘em and weap,” or “Ragnarok ‘n’ roll.” We weren’t that cool!

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