While digging through the Hollywood archives recently, a group of expensively sloppy Hollywood businessmen came to find that one movie was left without a sequel. “Life-Size,” one of them asked, “Does anyone remember Life-Size?” Without wanting to seem too eager, another of the men hesitated and said, “Hmmm…is that the one…with baby Lindsay Lohan and Tyra Banks, where Lindsay Lohan’s mom died and, ahh, I don’t know, she tries to resurrect her from her hair…but instead she brings a Barbie-type doll to life, and the doll is Tyra Banks? And, ummm, her dad is Wynn Duffy? Also something about football, she plays football?” And the rest is history. Tyra Banks spoke to Digital Spy about the upcoming Life-Size sequel:

“I have a meeting today to go over the script!” she said. “I swear! I don’t think it’ll be out until probably 2015, but I’m guessing – it could be late 2014 or 2015. But it will be back – Life-Size will be back, better than ever.”

However, Banks – who was speaking to Digital Spy to promote her Special K Fight Fat Talk campaign – was coy on the details of the new movie.

“I can’t [tell you anything] unfortunately,” she said. “I’m under contract with Disney and I can’t talk about it at all, except that it’s coming. But it will be very different, very different. Very modern – a modern take.”

Ugh. Just like Tyra, being coy when we all just want those SWEET DEETS. That’s okay, though. We’re old pros at this. We can think of our OWN sweet modernizing deets. Like, instead of using (older now) Lindsay Lohan’s dead mom’s hair to bring her back to life, she can use all of her social media and internet browsing activity to recreate her digitally, and then just plug that into a robot. Or, instead of accidentally bringing a doll to life, she accidentally brings Candy Crush to life? Lots of $$$ there, probably. I don’t know! What do you think? She brings an Internet cat to life? It wasn’t her mom who died, it was her iPhone? Tyra Banks is her iPhone now? Tell meeee. (Thanks for the tip, Claire!)

Comments (23)
  1. anecdote: being a 90′s kid i was enamored with tyra banks and britney spears, boy did i love both of them, and then some 2-4 years later they both became the worst people ever. so needless to say i swore off women forever.

  2. So, if I’m to understand correctly, the original movie was about a little girl in mourning who turned to blood magic in a desperate attempt to raise the dead? Jesus fucking Christ.

  3. I call the man who played the dad “Kirk from Dear John.” I can still sing the whole theme song from that show.

  4. Is it going to be how Life Size doll’s skewed priorities broke baby Lohan? Like Ted, but for a female audience? Now they have to navigate the kooky grownup world. I really want to see how the heck Life Size figured out how to survive in the world. Or did Life Size go back to doll size?

  5. Life Smize

  6. Super Size: Willow Smith tries to bring her dog back from the dead using black magic but accidentally turns her mom, Tyra Banks, into a giant instead.

    • that could also work as another sequel in the “honey i’m a terrible father so i either shrank or made giant our children bc science & inventions” series

  7. The plot of HER.

  8. After years of watching Top Model, how did I not know this existed? I mean, Tyra Banks makes it a point to brag about all her past career points throughout the show, so I’m not sure why this never came up during one of the models’ acting challenges.

    Why hasn’t Lindsay Lohan been a guest on Top Model?

    Why aren’t they just creating a movie version of Modelland?

    So many questions.

  9. I really do love that movie.

  10. Do I detect a nosejob?

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