Ahh, and so ends another week in paradise. I hope that when we come back next week — on Tuesday! — we’ll come back to a world that doesn’t focus so much on Shia LaBeouf or the Gosselins, and a world in which a purportedly feminist blog doesn’t throw away the last of its good graces on an odd pageview gamble against another woman. We’ll see! You never know what the world might bring. FINGERS X’D! We’ll see you on the other side, in any case. On Tuesday, like we said. We won’t be here on Monday. Love you, byeee.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Benedict Cumberbatch And Aaron Paul In A Photograph Together Caption Contest, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 10th Score:22
“I have Ivy League friends.” – hotspur
Posted in: Man Retires From Public Life, Is Now Just A Man
#4 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 13th Score:23
It’s fun to imagine that the one hot dog just scored the game-winning touchdown and is being carried off the field in triumph by his teammates. It’s also fun to imagine eating a bunch of hot dogs.
Posted in: If You’re Going To Be On The Internet All Day, You Have To Be Honest With Yourself About It
#3 aunt martha | Jan 16th Score:26
The Oscar nominated classic: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa.
Posted in: The 2014 Academy Award Nominees
#2 neverabadidea | Jan 15th Score:30



Posted in: How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
#1 R2D2, Esq. | Jan 14th Score:35
I found out yesterday that the pizza place by my office no longer has their 2-slices-and-a-soda-for-$5 special, so I can really identify with rape survivors.
Posted in: How About We All Agree To Just Never Compare Acting In Movies To Either Slavery Or War?

[Ed. Note: Wow, R2d2, Esq.! What a week! You couldn't just pull out all five spots, though? Hmm. A little disappointing. Maybe try better next time! Congrats neverabadidea and aunt martha!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comments

#1 ghostchannels | Jan 16th Score:-1
that’s ming in the corner? *walks himself out*
Posted in: The Family That Plays “Losing My Religion” Together Stays Together

[Ed. Note: I hope you learned your lesson.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, catweazle! You earned it.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  Dr. Feelgood | Jan 14th Score:10

By accident I called Pussy Riot the “Pussy Posse” the other day in conversation.

Posted in: Leonardo DiCaprio Somehow Dodges Perfect Cocaine Gotcha Question

[Ed. Note: HAhahahahahaaaa. Very good, revealing blunder.]

Comments (31)
  1. It’s Friday, and for some people a long weekend but not me, so let’s dance

  2. That Jezebel thing… yikes! In the words of my sister: “Jezebel fighting with Lena Dunham is like an ouroborous basically.”

    But WHATEVS! It’s the weekend! And it’s a long weekend! A+!

    • That gif, wow!

      Happy long weekend, everyone!

    • Jezebel has this weird problem where they demand that everyone everywhere apologize for even the most minor of perceived slights against any conceivable oppressed group (even when they may not have understood what actually happened in the first place), but absolutely REFUSE to engage in discussion when they fuck up. They won’t even attempt to explain themselves.

      It is, as they would almost certainly describe it, “problematic”.

      • Whenever I read someone say something is “problematic” all I can think of is a big robot overlord stamping my head with a big red P. “YOU ARE. PROBLEMATIC.”

    • I hate both Jez and Dunham, so it’s like infinite Christmas over here.
      And weekend, yay!

    • The comments on all the Jezebel articles about this are GREAT though. Their readers are totally taking them to task. Not that it will acoomplish anything, because Gawker media is an evil hive mind that only cares about page views, but still, they’re fun to read.

  3. KATE. I hope you weren’t insulted by my post, because it was all in jest. And I hope your painting turned out ok!

    • I hope she’s not mad, because that was perfect.

      • Mad! I’m furious! jkjk I lol’d irl at that comment and showed it to my husband who did likewise. Also, in trying to fix the painting I may have made it worse? I’m hoping that in six months when it dries I can varnish it and magically it will look great. Then I’ll figure out how to show you here.

  4. Happy Friday everyone! I have been roped into attending a Division I-AAA basketball game this evening, so we’ll see how that goes!

  5. I mean, what is Jezebel even trying to prove? That Lena Dunham really has a face?

  6. Oh, Jezebel. I remember when you were actually sort of good, or, at least, not actively terrible.

    Happy weekend, guys! I’m going to kick back with some whine and the entire SCP archive (creepy stories written as official reports from an agency that deals with supernatural stuff. It’s my new favorite thing!)

    • WINE. Ugh, whatever, it’s Friday, typos don’t count!

    • That SCP thingy is spelunkin’ amazing! I like how, under Site Rules, it has a section called ‘Guide to Newbies.’ I assume it analyzing newbies’ motivations and hairstyles, and the motivations for their hairstyles. I don’t know. Seriously though, it looks like you could get lost for hours. Fun!

  7. R2D2 is an embarrassing doorman and garbageman!

  8. Someone, it’s hard to say who, may have made a special trip to Barnes and Noble this afternoon to pick up a copy of the new Entertainment Weekly featuring a very lovely Benedict Cumberbatch. So between that and the wine, I’m going to have a decent weekend. Cheers!

  9. Just caught up on this whole Jezebel thing. I know she’s not the most popular with monsters, but honestly I think Lena looks pretty in the shoot, both in the normal and retouched photos.

    So basically, fuck you Jezebel. I’m glad I never read you in the first place.

  10. haha first time in the monsters ball as lowest comment…hurray?

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