When I die, please tell Margalit Fox that I would like this to be the last line of my obituary: “She loved her bed, and spent a considerable amount of time writing about public marriage proposals, which she hated.” I know I shouldn’t tell another writer how to do her job or where to mistakenly place her commas, but it’s my obituary and I want to make sure it portrays my life CORRECTLY. Today’s public marriage proposal happens in a place that has recently and mistakenly been deemed appropriate by many public marriage proposers: the propose-ee’s place of work. In this case it happens to also be the proposer’s place of work, and it happens to be on stage in an arena with a seating capacity of 12,000. Oh, it is every young girl’s dream to make a decision about how to spend the rest of her life after being interrupted while singing on stage in front of thousands of people. And now it has gone viral! So sad for all the pre-Internet public marriage proposers who had to settle on whomever was just around in order to make their lifelong decision based on mutual love and admiration special. UGH. I DO NOT LIKE PUBLIC MARRIAGE PROPOSALS!


PS: As always, I wish the couple a lot of luck and hope they are blissfully happy together forever.
Comments (23)
  1. Ditto what Kelly said, but it takes a lot of guts to pop the question in Neverland.


  3. Oh how I wish the guy playing Captain Hook was also in love with this woman and a for-real duel had broken out

  4. Hi Guys! I’m back!!!

    Yeah, I wonder how many people asked for a refund because they skipped the closing song?
    “Yeah, it was touching, but I paid for a whole performance, and I didn’t get a whole performance.” -Private-proposal enthusiasts/theatregoers

  5. Now I’m just hoping that Patrick Stewart proposes to Ian McKellen during Waiting for Godot on saturday*.

    *no I am not. I have paid entirely too much money to fly to New York to see a play to have it muddled by any of this public proposal nonsense. BE HAPPY IN PRIVATE, LIKE CIVILIZED ADULTS.

  6. OK, so here is one option. We start bombing the world with fake public marriage proposals, until everyone is sick of it and whenever they see one they start booing.

    Maybe they could be marriage proposals that double as advertisements for Jared’s, The Galleria of Jewelry. “AND he went to Jared, everybody! Look!”

    • Speaking of jewelry, I hope there’s an international public proposal involving American ex-pats, so when the lady of the hour exclaims, “He went to Jared,” the audience (by force) will look on with expressions of confusion and/or disgust.

  7. i recently got engaged and realized my fiancee was about to propose awhile before he did it. we were sat outside on a bench and i made him wait until nobody was within ear shot before he asked. :)

  8. He looks like he might be really cute with the makeup and post-apocalyptic costume off, but that might just be my thing for Scottish accents. Also he’s an actor, so he’ll be insane. An insane Scottish actor… I could have fun with that. Not marriage fun. Normal fun.

  9. Save that shit for the dress rehearsals.

  10. I dry heaved at the title

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.