“Ambition was something that I always really zeroed in on when it came to finding someone to share my life with. Even with friends — I just find it hard to be around someone a lot if that person is, I don’t know, stagnant, or if that person has just settled for less than what they could achieve. You certainly don’t have to be perfect, or incredibly accomplished, but I think it’s important to keep trying — to keep reaching for some goal. Anyway, that’s just me. And that’s why I found the perfect woman in Molly, who currently holds a world record for eating a 72 oz steak in just two minutes and forty-five seconds. The previous record holder? Oh, he took just a little bit longer…six minutes and forty-eight seconds! HAH! Now you see, that’s a person who, to me, is lacking in ambition. Nearly seven minutes for a 72 oz steak? As a grown man? Did he even want to keep the record, or did he just win it by accident? Hah. Well, I’m getting a little riled up, but I’m just so proud of my Molly. She really ate that steak so fast.” – You

Man oh man. Your girlfriend is good at quickly eating steak! (Thanks for the tip, Spencer!)

Comments (15)
  1. I would be proud to have this woman as my girlfriend.

  2. Maybe she’s a bear, I hope she’s a bear, mom dad I got a bear finally

  3. Is my girlfriend part shark? Those bites she was taking. I don’t think my teeth could scissor through steak that way.

  4. This lady is two Bah! Bah!’s away from being Mr Peepers.

  5. Why is this?

  6. She should have pulled a Usain Bolt and paused to sample one of the onion rings right before crossing the steak finish line.

  7. To be able to eat that fast, the steak would have to be medium well or well done. I’d rather my girlfriend eat 72oz of rare filet. I don’t date animals.

  8. My girlfriend really goes out of her way to set up gross sex jokes, and that’s why I love her.

  9. I wonder about the record she set the next morning.

  10. Uh oh. I hid her engagement ring in that steak!

  11. I’m going to do this to a pizza when I get home.

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