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On The View this morning, Barbara Walters “reviewed” Bruno. SPOILER ALERT: she didn’t like it. She claimed that she did not need to know how people “are doing anal intercourse,” that she had a problem with the “machine that showed you how to have oral sex” (Uh, how does Barbara Walters have oral sex?), and she also postulated that this movie might make some people homophobic who were not homophobic before seeing the movie. Huh. Is that how homophobia works? I’m pretty sure that’s not how homophobia works, but maybe that is how it works now. “I used to be tolerant of other people’s lifestyles, but then I saw a comedy movie, and now I am an active member in a gang of hate crimers.”

I’m not saying that Bruno wasn’t super-problematic and that I’m not still trying to figure out what I thought about it, I’m just saying that Barbara Walters’s criticisms of the movie are dumb, and make her sound old (which, to be fair, she is). “Penises are gross.” Sure, Barbara.

In any case, what’s most important to remember is that one time Barbara Walters interviewed the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as if they were real.

“Why weren’t any of you invited to the Oscars, and I have a follow-up question: I’m a journalist.”

“Barbara, that’s not a question.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Donatello! One day people will think my opinions matter!” (Via Tim Carvell via SciFi Scanner.)

*Dear Barbara, that is not what that machine showed you. Love, your eyes.

Comments (28)
  1. Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    LMFAO @ Barbara Walters’s meat spin impersonation.

  2. HEY GABE remember when you pretty much HUNG OUT with her in real life?

    That must have BEEN TERRIBLE.

  3. this interview is like a precursor to the View as they are all yelling and i can’t understand what’s happening.

  4. i feel like this is the sort of interview that Barbara Walters has pushed to the back of her mind, completely forgetting about. Allowing it to manifest itself in the dreamtime, as she wakes up scared some nights never knowing why.
    “The turtle dream again, Barbara?” “I just wish i knew what i meant. I’m a journalist!”

  5. Isn’t this the reaction you’d expect from a 79 year old on “Bruno”? Cause I’d say it is.
    However, the TMNT interview is bonkers, not unlike…Hello Kitty.

  6. Is it weird that I feel the Turtles are the ones slumming in that clip? I at least hope Splinter got Tom Brokaw.

  7. KANG  |   Posted on Jul 14th, 2009 +13

    WHAT A COLD BITCH, BRINGING UP THE TURTLES PARENTS LIKE THAT.
    WALTERS HAVE A HEART !

  8. no one’s a journalist in that dress, not even in the late 80s.

  9. Oh my god those live action turtle costumes were the greatest. I think that’s why a lot of us from that generation went apeshit over the Where the Wild Things Are trailer: they opted out of CGI and put some people in costumes.

  10. “In any case, what’s most important to remember is that one time Barbara Walters spoke to Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Star Jones as if they were real.

    /fixed

  11. That liquid gushing turtle was gross. I sure am glad I was banned from watching TMNT as a child. The parents didn’t wanting me saying “Cowabunga,” on account of “bung.”

  12. I can’t believe that’s how I thought teenagers were when I was a kid! 4eal!

  13. barbara walters is dressed a little provocatively to be interviewing the ninja turtles, eh? whats that about?

  14. Bruno might make people who watch it homophobic? Wait, but I thought homosexuality was transmittable, not homophobia. SO CONFUSED.

  15. Come on Barbara. I would at least expect to you to ask what this big “secret” is about the ooze.

  16. Chadams  |   Posted on Jul 14th, 2009 +3

    Damn – nice shoulders, Babs. That is one sexy-ass outfit, gurl.

  17. My favorite part about The View this morning (hey, lay off, guys; I’m unemployed and masochistic) was when Joy said she found a lot of Bruno to be spot-on and Elizabeth said, “Well, your sense of humor is rather European.” And then they talked about masturbation and Sherri said her church group says she’s not allowed to do it because the fantasies in one’s head are a sin, and Whoopi said she only has to fantasize about herself to get off. WHAT I’M SAYING IS we should all be hate-watching The View.

  18. huh?  |   Posted on Jul 14th, 2009 -1

    I’m pretty sure turtles are amphibians, not reptiles. Donatello at least should have known that.

  19. she didn’t know how to hi five!

  20. I wanted to laugh at this, but it just depressed me.

  21. Men in turtle costumes crying like garden hoses on full-blast while you laugh maniacally? That’s how you end an interview?

  22. On the plus side, could Whoopi Goldberg be any sassier?

  23. Geraldo Rivera can not look at Barbara Walters and not see those great tits.

  24. Why do I get the feeling that this “Brüno” review was ghostwritten by Elizabeth Hasselbeck?

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