In the past two weeks or so I’ve seen a few minutes of two television things featuring Jenny McCarthy — one episode of The View and this New Year’s Eve broadcast — and in each of them, in the five to ten minutes during which I was tuned in, she mentioned that she was dating Donnie Wahlberg. We all love Wahlburgers for sure, but relax, girl! On The View I believe she said something like, “and we all know who my boyfriend is…” which, well, we all certainly do not, and I did not know, but then almost instantly she said something else about how her boyfriend was Donnie Wahlberg. Girl. Should I half-remember more things from daytime TV, or should we just CAPTION THIS BABY? What is the baby thinking?! “Why did my awful parents bring me to the freezing cold Times Square at midnight for what had to have been hours and hours and hours and hours when I should be home, warm, and CRYING IN MY CRIB?!” I bet it’s something like that!!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball, which is happening tomorrow so get your votes in QUICKLY! (Photo via Dlisted.)

Comments (27)
  1. I can’t tell what full of more crap: my diaper or her opinion that autism is caused by vaccines. *Sniff.* OK, my diaper is full of more actual crap, but still her views on autism are fucking insane.

  2. Considering Jenny McCarthy is basically the #1 cause of death among children, I’m assuming that kid’s thoughts are filled with expletives.

  3. gnidrah  |   Posted on Jan 2nd +10

    Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with Donnie Wahlberg’s girlfriend.

  4. Of COURSE everybody knows who she’s dating! How could anybody miss all of the “Nude Model/Talk Show Host/Child Murderer Seen Around Town With Boy Band Member/B-List Actor/Hamburger Mogul” headlines?!

  5. I was looking for pun material and came across this credit for what must have been the most appallingly insufferable episode of a television show ever:

  6. I don’t think the spectrum of comments on this post will be all that wide.

  7. “You couldn’t even get a Kardashian?” -that kid

  8. I wish I knew how to calculate the odds that this baby’s father had a poster of Jenny McCarthy in a bikini* in his dorm room at some point.

    *The one with the silver bikini. You know what I’m talking about. Like 5 guys on my floor had that poster in 1996/97.

  9. artdork  |   Posted on Jan 2nd +11

    This is completely off topic, but did you realize that the guy standing next to the baby looks like a male version of Cameron Diaz? It’s horrifying.

  10. This babby just wants to go home.

  11. Imprisoned in the fledgling form of his newest vessel, the reanimated spirit of Dick Clark glares jealously at the blond usurper that seized his rightful place of glory. “Soon, Dick,” he coos to himself. “Soon.”

  12. Hey, thanks for the polio, butthole!

  13. pree  |   Posted on Jan 2nd +4

    Why did my awful parents bring me to the freezing cold Times Square at midnight for what had to have been hours and hours and hours and hours when I should be home, warm, and CRYING IN MY CRIB?!

  14. i got my vaccinations, do i look like i have autism to you? (really testing the waters here)

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