It would have seemed wrong not to acknowledge it.
Prospective Buyer: Sorry, but the ad in the paper said the apartment had two bathrooms?
Jackman: Yep, that’s right. This one here and ya know, your pants.
Why the fuck was I so excited when I though there was going to be a picture of Hugh Jackman’s bathroom? What’s wrong with me?!?
ME TOO, i was so mad when it was just print.
Hugh Jackman also has a retrofitted Roomba that has carpet cleaner and scrubbies on it for all the urine stains on every surface of this home. You can literally urinate anywhere on his property and it will be promptly cleaned with very little human interference.
Here’s something gross that is unrelated to Hugh Jackman, but is related to rich people’s bathrooms. I was working a catering job at a Fancy Private University’s President’s house this summer and had to use the bathroom, as humans do. So I went to the tiny servants’ bathroom (as the help, those are the things you have to do) that is right off the kitchen and hitched my pants down. Now, one of our chefs had just come out of there and the seat was warm and my first reaction was “EW DAMN DIEGO!” but then as I sat there for a few seconds, I started realizing that the toilet was actually getting warmer. Then it was getting hot. Then I realized that it wasn’t some fancy seat warmer but that it was actually the WATER in the BOWL that was hot. It was steaming all up into my bits! My guess is that there was some plumbing error and the water from the hot water heater was being directed into the toilet (the tank of the toilet was hot, too) and that Diego flushing recirculated very hot water into the bowl.
The moral of this story is that there is maybe no more disgusting sensation than trying to poop into a toilet that is filled with steaming hot water in the summer time.
1. When I was a kid, we had a hot water toilet because my dad hired a contractor who was a fucking moron. Hot water toilets are super weird and wrong.
2. Which university was it? Was it Duke? It was totally Duke.
2. I can’t say because the Rich People Mafia would probably come after me for violating the Caterer’s Confidentiality Code, but yes.
I should warn you to never use the gym bathroom at the downtown Hilton Atlanta, as they do the same thing (and I totally agree)
Ewwww trying to poop into a hot water toilet when you already have sweat-butt?
This made the term “poop soup” pop into my head, so now you all have to suffer.
Poo splash goulash
(To those who will inevitably question me for not going with Asshole Casserole–asshole doesn’t have enough syllables to make for a satisfying rhyme. Duh.)
I would say Fart Hearth, but that would indicate more of a dry heat. This is more of a Shit Bog, which isn’t a rhyme but is very evocative of what the actual sensation was.
“Asserole Casserole” made me do a spit-take!
Is it just me or does a bathroom with square toilet seat and black toilet paper sound more creepy than “awesome”?
Although I guess it’s probably a result of Hugh having no idea what an actual bathroom is supposed to look like.
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