I took a red eye airplane last night. Do you know what a red eye airplane is? It’s an airplane that leaves very late at night and gets in even earlier in the morning, and if you’re lucky, Cillian Murphy murders you. OH PLEASE, CILLIAN MURPHY, PUT MY HEAD OUT OF ITS MISERY. Where is my Channel 4 cameraman? Sure, he tapes me hopping frantically around and falling on my face, but when does he put the camera down and rescue me? My head is in a yogurt cup! I can do it all!

Comments (34)
  1. “After a big thank-you in squirrel language.”


  2. Poor squirrel.
    I think the blame for this one should be cast at the litter louts of Greenville, South Carolina and their cloying disregard for nature.

  3. Kevin is a HERO who now has rabies. Maybe.

  4. Every time I get on an airplane I pray I’m sitting next to Cillian Murphy. Instead, it’s usually some Donald Sutherland lookalike or a teenage runaway.

  5. Now that someone already used the super insider-y litter lout joke, I’ll just say ”Aww”.

  6. Viral videos are now worthy of news reports?

  7. thats your FAVORITE story, anchorlady?

  8. AP  |   Posted on Jul 13th, 2009 0

    sadley, this things happen all the time. i personally helped cats who had their heads stuck in cans. its not a pretty sight. they run around and jump and basicaly go totally insane. nasty stuff.

  9. OMG this is my home town news channel. I don’t know whether to feel embarrassed or extremely proud.

  10. Lindsay would be proud

  11. I don’t think that was ‘thank you’ it said in suirrel language…

  12. “When are we going to get our big break Kevin?”
    “Look, don’t worry ok? It’ll happen for us. One of these days it will happen for us.”
    “I guess…………..hey what…what’s that squirrel doing over there? Is it…? It looks like…”

  13. How does that squirrel keep going? Does it have a sensor in the cup? If that squirrel were me I’d just shake my head NONONONO until I became exhausted. Actually that’s pretty much what I do do. That squirrel is showing me how it is to be DONE. Keep going!!! Fuck the cup!

  14. This is my local news channel. Sigh.
    The day the Clemson Football coach resigned, it was the top story, they reported nothing else.
    The day my mom’s flight was delayed out of the local airport because another plane CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE on the runway? Not a word.

  15. Will  |   Posted on Jul 13th, 2009 +8

    Holy Shit I go to that College and I know that anchorwoman, I’m metaphorically stuck in a yogurt cup because my mind is blown. But ps the squirrels at Furman are insane, all they do is eat garbage so they are as big as cats and sometimes they jump into the electrical reactor and straight commit suicide.

  16. Pretty good product placement for Yoplait.

  17. Once in my neighborhood a cat got its head stuck in an empty cat food can and the owners couldn’t get it off. So they opened the other end of it with a can opener and the cat flipped the fuck out and got away. There would be sightings of the cat crossing the road and such with the can still on its head. Legend has it it’s still out there. Sometimes I can hear it clanking against the porch railing.

  18. Napoleon Complex  |   Posted on Jul 15th, 2009 +2

    Methinks “stuck in the yogurt cup” shall be the new term for “the inexorable crush of daily routine.”

  19. Nadie  |   Posted on Jul 22nd, 2009 0

    practicing embedding… wasn’t going so well at stereogum

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.