“Oh, the bats? I love them! Do people have a problem with them? Huh. You know, people are so strange — you grow up thinking that most people are probably like you and your family, but as you get older you realize that we’re all just so different. I guess that’s not really something you have to explain. I just can’t really get my head on straight hearing about this bat thing! You know, in some ways differences between people make sense, like you can see why someone wouldn’t want to eat kale even if you really like kale, or something like that. But the bats? Maybe it’s because I live alone. If I had a family, maybe I wouldn’t feel as much of a need to be able to walk outside my door and be greeted by a swarm of shitting bats, but — oops — I’m sorry, can we curse? We can? Okay. So, yeah, I mean — maybe if I had a family I wouldn’t need it, but because I’m alone all day it’s nice to be able to feel like I’m really surrounded when I walk out my door. By bats. And if I don’t have anywhere to go, I kind of like to open the window and let the shit smell come in. That’s life, right? We’re all part of it. One shitting, smelly swarm of life — mostly bats, some human. And the sounds they make! My oh my. There is so much beauty to be found here in my little bat town!” – You

Obviously I’m not trying to imply that you’re one of the animal rights activists who is protesting the culling of the bats. They’re fine, I get it. (Though the woman who cries in that video because of the bat babies — come on, lady.) (I mean, like I said, I do get it, but — come on.) You’re just you. You love bats! (Via Arbroath.)

Comments (21)
  1. Sure, their town smells overwhelmingly of bat feces and they have to live in a constant state of low-grade terror, but nobody’s had a mosquito bite in months.

  2. Considering how much I freaked out when I woke up at 3AM because a bat was flying around my bedroom, if I walked out my door and saw this nightmare batscape I would probably just drop dead.

  3. “Music to scare them away.” Rebecca! We finally need you!!

  4. Mysteriously, the town millionaire is the one leading the bat defense.

  5. I’m not really shocked by this. It’s Australia, so I assume most towns are overrun by bats, snakes or spiders.

  6. Could be worse.

    • …There was supposed to be a picture of a really big flying fox there. Maybe Videogum has discovered the secret of getting rid of bats! We should tell this town!

  7. Hearing the Australian reporter say “baybee” made me miss Claire and Charlie and Lost.

    • When we were checking out of the hotel after the first night in australia, there was a tiny blonde lady who looked just like Claire and her name was (of course) Claire and the whole time she was checking us out, I couldn’t focus and then mr truck and i left and we were both like “do you think she has a BAY-bee???”

  8. Holy bat shit this is a nightmare

  9. When your national dish is Vegemite I could imagine the stench of bat poop as being refreshing.

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