I haven’t been in school in many years, so correct me if I’m wrong, but — it’s the place you go to when you need to buy groceries? Hahahaaaha, ahh, just kidding, I know what school is. What I was going to say is that I haven’t been in school in “many years,” but I think that now is the time when finals begin. Right? I mean, I checked my university’s academic calendar and I know for a fact that today is, at the very least, the starting date of that school’s week of finals, so. You cannot tell someone who has done her research that she is entirely wrong. But — what a pain, right?! Ugh. Sometimes it’s just like, leave me alone, teach! You take a test if you love tests so much and literally want to marry them and probably just kiss tests every night because that is how much you love tests! To help ease the pain, or to help remember the pain, or to help imagine the pain, depending on what all of our lives are like, I’ve constructed this party game: Finals Week Movies. YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS! I’ll go first and then you go!

  • Silver Linings Book I Have To Stay Up All Night Reading Ugh Why Do I Always Do This
  • Blue Is The Warmest Color, Or Wait, I Think…Yeah, No, Blue Is The Warmest
  • Inside Llewyn Davis’s Disgusting Backpack
  • The Open Notebook Exam
  • Nights and Weekends Or I Don’t Know Maybe Just Nights
That last one is a joke about how students don’t like to study on the weekends? I don’t know, if you can do it so much better WHY DON’T YOU?!
Comments (54)
  1. The Exam Book Thief

  2. 50 First Dates You Need To Memorize

  3. Real Women Have Bell Curves

  4. The Taking of Chemistry 101

  5. (Scan)Tron

  6. The Hours that my student workers are in the office are all different this week because they don’t have their normal schedule and it makes it harder for me to plan tasks for them to do (based on a true story)

  7. Term Papers of Endearment

  8. Space Cram

  9. Tongs, Flask and Two Broken Beakers

    • You’re too good at this.

      • Aw, shucks.

        Fun fact – you know that dream where you realize you haven’t been to class all semester so you haven’t done any of the work and you’re completely screwed? I still have that dream. I’ll be 36 next month.

        • I’m glad it’s not just me! I also still have the one where it’s the first day of school and I can’t remember my schedule and don’t know where any of my classes are.

        • But are you wearing pants in the dream? (Also, when is your birthday? Mine is the 5th!)

        • I finally stopped having an anxiety dream where I’m halfway through an exam, realize I graduated, tell everyone to fuck themselves, get up to leave… but am stopped by strong-armed security guards who won’t let me and send me to detention. I wake up crying and repeating “but I graduated! I even graduated college!” I actually think the dream stopped when my parents moved away from Wisconsin, though it’s shown up since as a being stuck at jobs I have loathed.

        • Yup. At least once a week. And why is it always a class I’ve totally forgotten about (which would never really happen) instead of something like a test I forgot to study for (which DID happen, several times)? I mean, dreams obviously don’t make sense, but it’s weird that it’s always that specific scenario.

        • So, the internets have eaten this comment 3 times, but such is my commitment to your fun fact! I also still have these dreams, but they’ve gradually switched over to me starting to teach a class and not being prepared. It was funnier the first time around.

        • I have never had the test anxiety dream, BUT I was in band in high school and I wasn’t very good. So now when I am stressed, the anxiety nightmare I get is where I have to play again and I haven’t practiced enough and I don’t know if my reeds are still good, etc etc etc. it’s horrifying.

  10. Essay Anything

  11. Sophie’s Multiple Choice

  12. You Can Count on Me (to Share My Notes)

  13. Q.E.D.A.R.Y.L.

  14. This is not a title but rather a story about something that happened to me. I play coed softball on Sundays and yesterday our opponents were all graduates of my alma mater, just ELEVEN years after I graduated. So I was trying to talk to them about our school and how it was different back in my day, and after several minutes one stupid girl asked where I went to school because she thought I was just making random conversation. My point is, if these kids graduated then the final exams need to be harder.

  15. The Neverending Study

  16. Ramenshomon

  17. About Last All-Nighter

  18. The Library: or There and Back Again. (also, I found out that “There and Back Again will be the title of the 3rd Hobbit movie. So, spoiler?)

  19. 127 Hours (Before You Can Finally Sleep)

  20. (Please God in Heaven let me pass this exam so I can become) The Graduate

  21. Test Side Story

  22. The Big Easy (exam seriously please I need these credits to graduate)

  23. Smoke Breakers

  24. Answer-Key-Written-On-His-Hand Luke

  25. Can I just tell you all how accurately you are describing my life this week? I really appreciate it.

    Also, I was going to add: My Social Life this Week: The Desolation of Smaug, but I would let Smaug do whatever he wanted, if you catch my drift…

  26. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion (A+), the Witch (F) and the Wardrobe (C+)

  27. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Except When You Know You Studied the Answer But Can’t Quite Remember It

  28. About Last All Nighter

  29. The Shining example of the one student in the class who actually did the readings

  30. 2001: A Space Odyssey of horrible papers I have to grade all weekend

  31. The Nightmare Before Christmas Break

  32. Test in Show

  33. The Dark All-Knighter

  34. Hall Pass or Fail

  35. 50 Shades of Grading

  36. (Sorry I always come late to this party and then post a zillion times, but I can’t help myself.)

  37. Final Destination

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