“Heyyyy, lady! Remember when I bought dinner the other night, even though I had taken care of the check the last time we had gone out, and, in the way we do things, it was your ‘turn’ to pay? And remember yesterday when I dodged having to go to that play with my aunt and uncle, before even going through the motions of asking you about it? And remember when I brought up your mail from downstairs just now? And remember whe– oh, okay. I’ll cut to the chase. It’s time to pay up! Haa-ha, no, just kidding. Totally kidding. In other news, I read this interesting thing on the New York Daily’s website that said Angelina Jolie allegedly bought Brad Pitt a heart-shaped island for his 50th birthday, with two houses designed by Frank Lloyd Wright on it. I know! It’s so crazy! Really, really crazy stuff. Especially with my birthday coming up, it’s like, whaaaat. Can you imagine getting something like that for your birthday? Sooo…I want you to buy one for me too! Hahaha, no, no. Hah, wouldn’t that be hilarious? ‘Uh, hey, can you buy me an island?’ Hahaahahaha, ahhhh. My god. So, so, silly. But, huh. Now that we’re talking about it…I mean, we take vacations, right? Like once or twice every two years or so? Hmmm. I wonder how much we’d save if we just owned an island that we could head out to, rather than having to go to the trouble of booking a hotel room, etc.? Huh. It’s actually probably a pretty smart investment, now that we’re thinking about it! I mean, we’re going to be together for a while, right? It would probably have to be under just one of our names, since we’re not married or anything, and we don’t want to put any unnecessary pressure on that part of the relationship…Or, actually…I guess, if we wanted to kind of have it under ‘both’ of our names, you can put the money down and put it under my name? That way it’s, like, mine and yours. You know? Just in two different ways. Plus my birthday is coming up, like I mentioned! Hahah, no, no, not that it would be, like, a ‘birthday gift,’ that would be too much — I would love it, obviously, and I’d be so grateful, but — it would just be, like, our thing. That you paid for? And it would be under my name. I don’t know, babe! I think we stumbled on to a great idea together!”

From the New York Daily News:

Jolie, 38, reportedly shelled out nearly $20 million for the getaway spot, British tabloid the Mirror reports. Pitt turns 50 on Dec. 18.

The lake retreat boasts two luxurious properties designed by Frank Lloyd Wright, who is apparently one of Pitt’s favorite architects.

“As soon as Angelina heard the island was on the market she arranged a viewing,” a source told the Mirror. “She was really impressed.”

However, one of the owners of the secluded estate has shot down the rumors, telling Extra that the report is not true and the island is still up for sale.

“Huh. Should we check to see if it’s actually still for sale? Just for fun?” (Via TheHairpin.)

Comments (28)
  1. Personally, I’d settle for a penis shaped church.

  2. One of the other islands on the lake has a house designed by Frank Lloyd Wrong. It’s made entirely of puns.

  3. Finally Brad will have a place to put all that furniture he designed.

  4. Man, my Island only has one house designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Now I feel like a chump.

  5. Sorry, but I have a hard time believing that anyone who wants that much forest to themselves doesn’t secretly have people kidnapped so they can hunt them for sport. #mostdangerousgame

  6. HINT: If you want to buy me an island, buy me Japan’s Cat Island (aka Tashirojima)
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/22/cat-heaven-island_n_4324867.html

  7. I was all ready to roll my eyes at the opulence and then it said Frank Lloyd Wright. Now I’m just going to wallow in my poverty and lack of Frank Lloyd Wright home ownership.

  8. Does it move through time?

  9. Had to scale it a bit proportionally, ya know, in terms of wealth. But you see that pile of mulch on the sidewalk? The one that kind of looks like a heart? That’s for you. That’s yours. Happy birthday.

  10. More like broccoli-shaped, really… when you look at it… with your eyes…

  11. C’mon you guys, he deserves this after single-handedly fixing Hurricane Katrina.

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