Grab your hoodies! Grab your nearly completed punch cards from your local cafes and wine shops, and also grab the ones from the cafes and wine shops near where you used to live, who knows where you’ll end up! Grab your computers and your video game systems! THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW, THIS IS SERIOUS! Grab underwear and your legitimate ghost evidence hospital bag in case you faint, and GTFO, because ghost hunters in Oklahoma have found some evidence that ghosts exist and enjoy Portal!

Of course, jerks on the Internet have already surfaced to harass Sooner Paranormal of Oklahoma (SPOOK) about their finding of the phrase “THE CAKE IS A LIE” written BY A GHOST on a chalkboard in an abandoned building, and the group responded on their Facebook page:

In a response to our story on KJRH, we’ve been labeled ” clueless ghost hunters” by Jason Joe Wayne Blevins …personally, I take no offense, as he is focused only on one thing, the chalk board. At NO TIME did I or any member of my team make any claims as to a paranormal cause, only that the time and placement of this phrase on the chalk board were unusual.

You guys seem genuinely nice, professional, and level-headed. Don’t back down! You found the evidence! LET’S TAKE A LOOK FOR OURSELVES!

Awww. Classic ghost handwriting. But if ghosts can play Portal, what else are they doing? COMMENTING ON BLOGS? Oh my god. Are you guys ghosts? IF YOU GUYS ARE GHOSTS, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. Are you stuck inside the blog? Do you need help moving on to Heaven? (Or Hell?) Oh my god. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so spooked, but I never thought I’d eMeet a ghost! WHAT IS YOUR NAME? (Via Kotaku.)

Comments (17)
  1. I’m not a ghost. I think. I mean, I could be in a Sixth Sense-type situation here and everyone is just too polite to tell me.

  2. The spo00oo0kiest part of the whole thing is that they devoted nearly 5 minutes of a newscast to that story.

  3. I am not a ghost, but I may have worked with the ghost of Bob Crane for 2.5 years of my life, which may qualify me for Celebrity Ghost stories. Because he was a celebrity and is now a ghost.

  4. Fun story about ghosts!
    Yesterday Mr Truck and I were sitting downstairs watching football and our toilet started running which it does not usually do. So OF COURSE I said it was a ghost and that he came here to take a ghost poop. And then of course that turned into a couple minutes of us laughing about different spooky things, as in:
    He had to take a number twoooOOOOooooOOOO
    Watch out for the ecto-crap-sum
    etc etc

    • Yesterday Husbandglue looked over and asked “Do you think that farts are just the ghosts of food?” so apparently yesterday was booty ghost day.

    • Also that is a really fun game that I would like to play. “Something foul has failed to find rest in the depths of your boooOOooooOOoooOOOOOty.”

    • When I was about 10 I stayed up watching a documentary about ghosts. I was scared to leave my room but I had to take a poop. So I take the most frightening poop of my life and then when I go to flush…THERE WAS NO POOOO! I was scared for days.

      • GhooOOOOooost PooOOOoooop is one of the weirder phenomena of modern humanity. You’re all like “Um yes I definitely just felt a poop come out of me but WHERE’D IT GOOOoooOOOO?” and I always expect like David Blaine to be waiting on the other side of the bathroom door to be all, “Betcha didn’t expect that one did you?” with my poop in his hand.

        (I could make jokes about scary poops all day long you guys; I’m sorry I got started but not sorry at all.)

    • My toilet started running out of nowhere. I went to tighten the screw to fix it, and ended up making 2 trips to Walmart and staying up until 3 in the morning trying to fix the damn thing. Your ghost isn’t so bad by comparison.

  5. I am a ghost, but I’m scared of offending people so I just try to blend in with the scenery. Sometimes I have to fart, though, and that’s when you feel a smelly chill run through your body.

  6. Well, I am a ghost. And I live in Tulsa, OK so obviously I wrote that message. I never got my cake you guys!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t lie to me about cake. I will get pissed and write things on boards.

  7. SPOOK is a perfect name.

    (And yes, I am a ghost. I have been dead since the Idris Elba puppy picture, lo these many moons ago:

  8. Thank you, ghost! But our tired video game reference is in another castle.

  9. Oh, Tulsa. Fun artdork fact: this was my preferred news station when I lived there. Sigh.

  10. I AM a ghost, actually. I’ve been harassed by my gross uncles for a while now, and I’m just waiting for Christina Ricci to come seduce me so that I can move on. So if someone could pass that message on to her, that would be just great, thanks.

  11. I’m a ghost, and if there’s one thing I hate, it’s people wearing hats. Anytime I see someone wearing a hat…well, let’s just say I’m going to take that hat off. Now let’s see who’s wearing a hat. Not you.

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