Michael Phelps is an American champion who has made sports history, and nothing can take that away from him. NOT THAT HE HASN’T BEEN TRYING. But in the case of his new Subway commercial, I’m not even sure what is going on. I mean, I definitely know that eating Subway sandwiches does not make anyone a champion. The closest they have made anyone to a champion is Jared (also featured), and I am pretty sure the words “champion” and “Jared from Subway” have never been used in a sentence together, unless it was “Jared from Subway is the champion of goofy looking slobs who love corporate shills everywhere.” Besides everyone knows that all Michael Phelps eats is pancakes. This ad might as well be for Subway’s $5 Gravity Bongs.

Which it turns out it kind of is?

Sly and the Family Stone? SubwayFreshBuzz.com? Japanese game shows and a meatball sub? We get it, Subway. Weed stuff. (Via AdFreak.)

Comments (14)
  1. To be fair, Michael Phelps is as goofy looking as Jared. He just has 8 gold medals on his nightstand.

  2. Wait, so people who suck eat just as much Subway as other people who also suck, but in different ways? Is that Subways new tagline? Subway: Eat Suck

  3. James  |   Posted on Jul 7th, 2009 -6

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  4. Fenrox  |   Posted on Jul 7th, 2009 -3

    I saw that part where he was in a speedo and stopped caring about anything else in the ad. Michael Phelps is just so fucking hot.

    • YUCK. The only thing hot about Michael Phelps is his body, and even that is freakish. What a buthisbeardandfaceandpersonality.

      • Evan  |   Posted on Jul 7th, 2009 +4

        Listen, I’m pretty sure winning 8 gold medals in the Olympics makes you an instantaneous pussy magnet regardless of how ‘creature from the black lagoon’-esque his body is.

  5. The link to the old Friday Night Fight made me really miss Lindsay.

  6. Truth is, I would not hesitate to say, “I’ll have what he’s having.” These goofs actually are champions in my book.

    But the commercial sucks.

  7. orlemonde  |   Posted on Jul 7th, 2009 +7

    I feel kind of sad to admit that I was actually kind of excited for the pancake sandwich from subway.

  8. Congratulations Mr. Phelps. Here is your 8th olympic gold medal. Now you can live the olympic dream of using your fame to make millions of dollars… staring in Subways comercials with Jared.

  9. Thank you for letting me be Mike Phelps again.

  10. I just think you folks are jealous of Michael and maybe even Jared. Michael is a champion for sure and Jared is a millionaire just from eating food. How can you beat or knock that?

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