Hey, how was your day today? Did you spill coffee all over your shirt, which was bad enough, but then your crush finally texted you to get after-work drinks, and now he or she is going to think you’re the world’s dumbest klutz? Did you break the toilet at work and someone came in right after you and you had to be like, “arrgh, someone else broke it, so annoying”? Did you, I don’t know, crash your car into a tree? Well, I’m so, so sorry for you, but at the very least you’re not Larry David at a Knicks game! At least you have that! HOW WAS YOUR DAY? (Photo via Uproxx.)

Comments (100)
  1. My day has been all right. A friend took some funny Movember pictures for me and I spent my lunchbreak at a duck pond near my office that has been taken over by two variety of geese and a flock of coots. Coots, Jerry! While there I strummed the guitar I keep squirreled away under my desk like a sensitive soul survivor and basked in the searing mid-November sun. Also, someone left an open bag of baked Cheetos in the office common area, which is a major boon seeing as how they are so healthy AND flavorful. Good Wednesday, you guys!

  2. Today’s my birthday! Smell ya later, my 20s. Because it’s Wednesday (bleh), I’m not really doing anything to celebrate, but I did get very good Chinese food for dinner and am now eating even better pie, so I’m pretty happy.

  3. My job’s computer system whatchamacalit has been down all day, which is problematic of course. This is complicated by the fact that they haven’t hired any technical people in a while, so we don’t have any tech support other than the company ones located in a different place. So that is strange.

    Also, Larry David and I are on the same page regarding the New York Knickerbockers especially if these Iman Shumpert trade rumors come to fruition.

    I had a pretzel snack and a diet Dr. Pepper, though. It’s the small things.

  4. That is the appropriate way to watch a Knicks game so far this season.

  5. I took my kids on a field trip to a dairy farm and the shitty, poorly behaved kid fell into a pile of cow shit that as literally bigger than her. She was climbing on this fence by the giant pile of cow shit and I was like “get down from there” and she said no and immediately after, a cow boinked her with it’s head and down she went. It would have been the most perfect moment of my life, except that I had to clean her up and everything smelled like cow shit for the rest of the day. I still consider it a victory.

    • If only everyone who deserved to fall in cow shit fell in cow shit.

    • At least she’ll be a much better person from here on. Unless it makes her worse.

      Orrrrr it gives her super powers and she becomes something we all have to contend with, like when the Joker fell in those chemicals.

  6. I had a student come up to me today and say she was really getting a lot out of our class, so that made my cold, dead heart beat again! I also nailed my presentation for one of my classes, so that’s good too!

    Now I’m home with a cat on my lap, and I’m feeling pretty good about things.

  7. The last few weeks at work have been completely insane. We were really slow for a few months this summer so everyone panicked. Now we have too many projects and too few staff, on top of the fact that the office is under construction and they’re frantically trying to hire. I can handle high stress, but I’m also getting pissed at the fact that I’m working above and beyond with no promotion in sight. They gave us crappy raises because we were so slow, so everyone is kind of pissed about. Basically, morale isn’t the best. Not the worst, because we still get beer and such. I’m just waiting for someone to break from the stress.

    So my day was spent jumping from meeting to meeting and getting 6 emails every hour (my norm is 3 a day). Fun times? I like what I do, but I’m frustrated.

    Where that free beer?

  8. Nelly’s Friend: “Remember that one Seinfeld where Jerry wouldn’t let his girlfriend use his toothbrush?”

    Nelly: “Hahahahaha! That Seinfeld. What a Genius!”

    Larry David: “……”

  9. My day has been great, because I got married this weekend! Everyone’s always like “it was the best day of my life” but it really was. The whole weekend was amazing. We had bride vs. groom softball and team groom won even though all my family are artists and scientists and bad at sports. Also I hit a home run. Then the rehearsal dinner was great and i made it through all of my speeches and the food was so good. Then the ceremony went perfectly and there were even unexpected jokes that killed and everyone cried including me because I cry at everything including the speech from Independence Day. Then the reception was great even though the shuttle was an hour late and we missed most of the cocktail hour because we were dealing with it. The ladyblog made all the different centerpieces and they were all different and amazing. We cut a leg of jamón instead of a cake and unbeknownst to me all my groomsmen brought rubber horse heads and wore them during the wedding party introductions and it was amazing because their entrance music was the nyan cat theme and it became this whole dadaist weird thing that confused all the older relatives. Also it was great looking at the pictures because there’ll be all these people dancing and in the background there’s a solitary horse slow dancing with a bridesmaid. Then this happened at the end of the night:

    So, overall it was pretty great. Also I’m super happy with my choice of wife.

    Oh yeah also the Red Sox won the World Series.

    Everything’s coming up Lawblog!

  10. I dropped off my laundry today and when I went to pick it up, the sweet old couple who runs the place replaced my ratty old laundry bag with a brand new one for nothing. Faith in humanity restored! Also I’m starting a new musical project with one of my friends and I’m pretty psyched about it.

  11. I had to go to the grocery store to buy more cheese (of course) and then I remembered that I have a hot chocolate packed from last winter in my cupboard, and it’s finally cold enough for me to want to drink it! I basically just use hot chocolate as a conveyance for whipped cream, so I bought some whipped cream, which I basically just use as a conveyance for sprinkles, which I already have, so I’m VERY excited for dessert, basically.

  12. i was very excited that my birthday falls on new comic book day this year, particularly because i was under the impression that there was a dc/vertigo frank quitely anthology coming out today, but apparently it has been cancelled (#klassic birthday) (also i ripped the crotch of my pants at work this morning and then spilled curry on my shirt at lunch. really knocking it out of the park today!) so i picked up a few other things instead and then ate a comical amount of indian food and now i’m going to go home and take a nap and then get dragged out of my hermit cave for drink later tonight.

  13. And I know you’re all dying to know about the date I went on on Saturday with the guy whom I made sure was not a Nazi. I know that I say this every time I interact in any way with a man, but you guys I am going to marry him and have his babies. But, like, for real this time. He came over so we could take our dogs for a walk on Saturday and just left Monday night. We baked bread together and went on tons of walks and had Deep Conversations and watched Doctor Who and my cat kicked the living shit out of his dog all weekend, but my dog, who is terrified of everyone and everything, was totally NOT scared of him or his dog! And, uhhh, so this is batshit insane, but we looked at houses online for fun and found a 225 year old brick farmhouse on 30 acres 5 mins from my house for 110k and we drove out to check it out and I contacted the real estate agent and we are going to see it next weekend??? And we’ve already said I love you and talked about getting married and having babies??? You guys, I almost gave myself an ulcer I was so stressed out about moving in with my ex after 2 years together because I thought it was way too soon, what is happening to me? He is tall and bearded and burly and sweet and funny and shy and very, very wholesome. He sings in a barbershop quartet and holds the record for Farmer’s Walk at the Highland Games, where he carried 400 lbs over 300 feet. He is so, so, so fucking manly. And he studied horticulture and counselling, and wants to run a solar-powered organic farm with a year-round greenhouse and chickens and goats (goats!!) and be totally self-sufficient. And he thinks that I am perfect (duh, I am). Fucking marry me, already.

    • They may seem fast, but I’m pretty sure the couple in Up did all of that even faster.

    • Oh god, super manly, capable men who are also total domestic sweeties are my kryptonite. Don’t let him get away! And ask if he has a brother for me!

    • Your date started on Saturday and ended on Monday night? Hot damn!

    • Wow, congratulations. That’s pretty crazy fast, but as your internet boyfriend, I think I approve of this person. I’ve had a serious girlfriend for a few months now, and I think we both get a little freaked when the conversation turns to co-habitation, marriage, and babies (even though we practically live together now to the extent my apartment is essentially a very large, expensive closet). We were out in California last weekend for a wedding and did the “meet the family thing” while we were out there. She got sick on the trip and of course I joked “you’re not pregnant, right? ha ha ha”, and a few minutes on Google checking symptoms was enough to totally freak her out. She’s not though, we checked. phew!

      Anyone, nice to see all of V-gummers doing well, as I’ve been kind of absent lately for no apparent reason. But yay, old man fatima!

    • I always say, “when it clicks, it clicks.” AMAZING!!! And you’re 100% sure he’s not a nazi?

    • Three day dates are the best. Have A Very Long Engagement (either the movie or in general) so once the eros wears off, you’re still good with each other (it’s a semi-long movie and in French so it may work for both… plus WWI isn’t really the most romantic setting, but Jean-Pierre Jeunet does a great job). I just watched this the other night because fall is time for French films and I think I like it better than his other stuff… though I haven’t seen City of the Lost Children in awhile. And I just looked Jeunet up and he’s got a new movie coming out someday, though it is available in France and this is the description:

      A 12-year-old cartographer secretly leaves his family’s ranch in Montana where he lives with his cowboy father and scientist mother and travels across the country on board a freight train to receive an award at the Smithsonian Institute.

      Sold.

      • I love A Very Long Engagement!! I make everyone watch it and I weep and weep and weep every time!

        • It’s so good. It’s also my favorite WWI movie and I am just fascinated/horrified/fascinated by WWI to a level that freaks out the normals. It was such a horrible and gruesome war and had such an obvious slow build to it (centuries, really — at least 1/3 of the fighting was about imperialism) and was fought on so many different levels and in so many different arenas (again, because of imperialism). Plus it set up so much since then — not just a depressed Germany that later became Nazi Germany — but basically was the turning point for imperialism and started the U.S. as a world power and created all of the war rules that are still cited when someone is abusing their or other countries and also is related to our dependence on oil… I could literally go on for hours, but I will not bc I have to go back to work. And *wow* that movie captures much of it so well. And it’s so beautifully shot and written and paced. I’d say it’s 8th or 9th date movie, mostly because by that point people aren’t still pretending to like what you like to such a level that if he gets bored or annoyed, it’s much more difficult to suppress. My ex and I saw it when he was my soon-to-be ex and he couldn’t deal with the Frenchness of it, which just got thrown on the pile of ‘ugh. I need to get out of this and soon.’ There were many many MANY more reasons (most not-petty), but this was a tiny one confirming my suspicions that it wouldn’t work out in the long-term.

          • That movie has seriously the best ending ever: not some miraculous miracle bullcrap, but hints at happily ever after. For a Jeunet movie, it’s a very realistic ending.

            Everything about that movie- A+, do watch over and over again.

          • WWI is the most important war politically speaking. Sure, WWII had the more ethical problems, but I tell people high and low that we are where we are right now because of WWI. #historydork

    • OHMYGOOOOSSHHH FATIMA.

  14. It is always cold in my office but it’s SO cold today that every time I wash my hands I draw it out forever just to feel warm water on my skin. Otherwise a pretty ordinary day. Last night I finished watching the first season of Game of Thrones which I am enjoying so far though I mean come on guys the blood and gore is a bit much, don’t you think? Also the pillars in the throne room look like they came directly from a suburban Olive Garden. Anyway, last night I ended up having a dream that I had gone to high school with Peter Dinklage and he had a crush on me but I friendzoned him.

    Now I am listening to the song “Responsitrannity” by RuPaul and I have leftover pizza waiting for me at home so I’ll give this day a B.

  15. Today I woke up early (5:45) and got some stuff done but only because last night I fell asleep early (9:30) and got nothing done. So, kind of a wash. Work is irritating. I was going to take a nice lunch but someone scheduled a meeting right when I would have gone. I tried to point out that my presence at this meeting makes no sense but it didn’t take. I’ve been reading one book for 5 weeks now because lunch keeps getting canceled. Boo hoo, my life.

    I did make some time to click on the “8 interesting films stuck in development hell” in the “From the Web” ad section above, and I will tell you that article opens this way: “Fans of the Ghostbusters franchise have been clamoring for a third film in the series for years.” Now I’m no longer sure what “clamoring” means.

  16. I spent all day reading crazy internet theories about who is Red John, and I don’t even watch The Mentalist!

    • Do you watch Psych? The writers of Psych send all the unsolicited scripts to the writers at The Mentalist, according to a very funny tweet I read once.

      • Yeah I love Shawn & Gus! I enjoyed the earlier seasons more, but I’ll stick with them to the end.

        • I really love the season from two years ago with the vampire episode and the one where they join the cult and other theme-centric ones that worked well. Last season was kind of weak, but sometimes that happens. I love that show so much. It’s like a good, familiar from your TV.

  17. My day was okay…I got to sleep in an extra hour because I had a dr appt which was not that awesome because they were sort of like “yeah, I don’t know what is causing that thing but it’s probably not gonna kill you” so hopefully it’ll just go away? Why not?
    Then work was good and I came home and went for a run with mr truck which was nice and now I’m having hummus and carrots and considering just making that my dinner. (plus a glass of wine, obviously)

  18. I spilled coffee on myself, actually, and on my new sweater and pants… which I took as a “welcome to living with me, clothes” sign that I’ll wear them a lot.
    For the past week or so, I’ve been rewriting a bunch of social media stuff for my day job because people who contract out as social media gurus to large companies are basically all snake oil salespeople and I’m weeding through their nonsense and trying to make sense of it for small pharmacy owners who hate the Internet as a whole. Which then led me to this:


    caption: We better find some since it’s for sale by all druggists.
    It’s really hard to be actually funny and professional in my day job, so this was GREAT.

    Also, after 2 years and 4 months, I finally switched my cell’s area code this week. I have no idea what my new number is but it’s exciting to no longer have the exchange of a carpetbagger Santa Monica douchebag. I didn’t even go east of Fairfax when I lived in L.A. so even then it seemed like an odd number.

  19. Been having stomach problems for which I went to see the doctor last week. He said I can’t drink alcohol for at least two weeks, and I am frowning DEEPLY over here.

  20. NOT GREAT, BOB! (I still use that line whenever I can.) I’m in the throes of the hardest couple of weeks in my academic career and do not think I’m handling it very well. And the end is not really in sight.

    also, I spill coffee on myself nearly everyday!

  21. I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TOMORROW KIDDOS. Prayers and thoughts would be much appreciated!

    And yes, it was almost exactly a year ago that I was saying the exact same thing! Anyway, I like my current job at my current place of employment but this interview is for a job that would pay me more and give better benefits! So, fingers crossed!!

  22. I have to MOVE in a week & i have still only packed 1 box. RUT ROH. I’m in a panic i have a bunch of work to organize. BUT we made candied yam ice cream which i like.

  23. this is on the front page of reddit and it makes me the happiest (which rarely happens on reddit).

  24. I’m lecturing regularly for the first time this semester. Today I finally got around to doing a thing on confronting one’s own racism/not being a jerk with a very large, diverse class of underclassmen.
    It went well! They were honest and pretty thoughtful and respectful and pretty excited. I’m especially proud that when That One White Guy who inevitably claims he’s not racist in the first five minutes of my presentation claimed he wasn’t racist, I made a damning joke at his expense that didn’t embarrass him or make him mad.

  25. I found out today that the guy I’ve been dating (who is trans) is considering de-transitioning. So there’s that.

  26. A friend is getting a divorce and we had no clue it was coming, so that kind of sucks (and makes you look at yourself in the mirror a little more closely).

  27. I pitched a tv show to some network guys today. No one wanted it.
    I’m having pizza now, though.

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