“I know it seems like I always do this — as soon as the holiday season approaches, it must seem like I just cling to whatever guy I’ve been dating and hang on to him until March. And maybe I have done that in the past. Maybe the chill in the air reminds me of nights spent alone, listening to ‘Let It Snow’ play in some drafty bar lit up by Christmas lights. Maybe planning for Thanksgiving travel makes me wish I had someone to ‘have our own Thanksgiving at home this year’ with. You know? It’s easy to get lonely around this time of year, and I’m not saying I’m perfect. But this guy is different. I understand that the timing is suspect, but my man Craig Cobb — blisteringly racist, anti-semitic garbage human who purchased a bunch of land around Leith, North Dakota, with the hope of establishing a white enclave — !!!!!! — is the real deal for me. And so what if he’s 14% black? I’m not the racist one! I’m not the one who is going to have to attempt to reconcile all of my hatred and standards of ‘genetic purity’ or whatever with who I actually am. I’m just a person, in love with a piece of shit trash goblin. And we’re having our own Thanksgiving this year.” – You


Oh but don’t worry, your boyfriend is still the same old Craig Cobb! From the Daily Mail:

Speaking to MailOnline Cobb said: ‘I agreed to the test because I assumed it was science.’ Instead, he said, it was a scientifically bankrupt procedure, the product of ‘craven and debased executives,’ whose ‘goal is to shock.’ He said: ‘When I told Jeff Schoep [leader of the National Socialism Movement] he just laughed.’ He described it as ‘short science’ used by a sensationalist television show to ‘promote multiculturalism.’ When pressed over how he would feel if a test he respected were to show the presence of such DNA he said: ‘Well if I did have any n**** we don’t want anymore of it.’ He would, he said, consider himself a ‘border guard for the pure breds.’ He explained: ‘Keeping the peace if possible but if we have to fight, keeping the frontline in the war.’

Cool! Cool boyfriend!

Comments (17)
  1. Serves you white…I mean right!

  2. I just ran a visual test and can now confirm that British daytime talkshow sets share 100% of their DNA with American ones.

  3. That lady laughing her ass off the entire time is my new spirit animal.

  4. He should be grateful–the test proved he’s a least 14% human, which is more than I would’ve guessed.

  5. Racist hippies are always a bit of a surprise.

  6. If you’re promoting yourself as a member of the most advanced race, maybe calibrate your grooming and personal appearance to something other than “looks like a fucking caveman that someone put a funny suit on”?

  7. Trisha wins last week’s Monster Ball.

  8. Did you watch the related video? The dude pointed out some bi-racial people in the audience and said “see, they’re polite. They say yes, sir. They’re the kind of black people I like.” Maybe this guy actually just likes nice people.

  9. This reminds me of the Boondocks episode where Uncle Ruckus finds out through a genetic test that he is in fact black and not a white person with a skin pigmentation disorder (“revitaligo”).

    What follows is at the same time one of the funniest and saddest episodes of TV I’ve ever seen.

    That’s all.

  10. Now he won’t be allowed to live in his own all-white town! I love it!!! And I’ll bet all his racist buddies just LOVE him now, too! This is just TOOOOOOO funny!!!!!!!!

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