No. Can you imagine being invited to a fancy Oscar party like that?! The two people that I would boycott Vanity Fair‘s Oscar party for, if I’m to be completely honest, are my mom and my dad. If Vanity Fair were going to publish something negative about my parents, that would be completely uncalled for — they’re not even famous! — and I would probably boycott that Oscar party. But anyone else?! GIVE ME A BREAK. Deal with it, friends and other relatives. WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, I’M GOING TO THE PARTY. I won’t buy the issue, for sure, I’m not a monster, but pass up that party? CELEBS WILL BE AT THAT PARTY, DRINKING CHAMPAGNE, LOOKING FANCY, AND EATING LITTLE PERFECT FOOD, PROBABLY! I’m going. Oh, but anyway, Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t want her friends to go. From Radar:

Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t just on the defensive with Vanity Fair, she’s going on the offensive — actively asking her A-list friends to boycott the magazine’s famous Oscars party, has exclusively learned.

As we reported, the war between Paltrow, 41, and the popular magazine — which is planning to run a bombshell expose on her — is at an all-time high amid private vows and declaration to destroy the monthly’s reputation.

“Gwyneth feels her relationship with the magazine has been destroyed and she’s urging pals not just to avoid doing business with the magazine, but to skip the mag’s Oscar party as well,” a source dished to Radar. “To be frank, she wants to shut their Oscar party down entirely.”

Apparently Vanity Fair wants to publish something about Gwyneth Paltrow cheating on Chris Martin with a billionaire in Miami a bunch of years ago, or something. I’m not going to look it up because it’s none of my business and I’m upset that I know as much about it (basically all of the details?) (I don’t know why I’m trying to pretend that I don’t know literally almost all of the details there are to know) as I do. But I will say, DUDE WON’T EVEN STAND NEXT TO HER IN PICTURES. STAY OUT OF THEIR BROKEN MARRIAGE. DON’T BE GROSS. INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY. I WILL GO ALMOST NO MATTER WHAT!

Comments (17)
  1. Yes! Finally! We get to talk about the most important story of the year!

  2. I thought they had an open marriage? Also I will boycott the party bc it is tiered as to when you can go and unless I get a good number, it’s hardly worth it. Well, that depends on the champagne and sandwiches. I just have a feeling GOOP would have organic champagne and healthy tea sandwiches I can eat. The VF menu is usually very heavy. Plus doesn’t Elton John co-host? That’s another reason to skip.

    • Honestly, considering how often actors make out with other people naked just for like their job duties, I assume most of them have open marriages. I mean, right? I feel like if I got over the hump (heh) of feeling betrayed watching my significant with someone else, why not get the most out of it and have young side pieces in Ibiza? We’re rich!

      • There’s also the frequency that actors spend weeks or months at a time working with other attractive people in what can be a pretty emotionally intense situation.

        Some fairly famous actor remarked recently-ish (unless I’m misremembering, Rachel Weisz, who’s fallen for at least two men she’s worked with) that it’s almost inevitable to fall for your fellow actors in certain situations.

  3. I can’t imagine a situation where I was friends with Gwyneth Paltrow, so I can’t begin to answer this question.

  4. I’m not saying I want Gwyneth Paltrow to bribe me to boycott this party, but I am saying that if she paid me a lot of money I wouldn’t go.

  5. “Are you going to the Vanity Fair after party?”
    “no, obviously”
    “Oh because Gwyneth?”
    “Yeah, that’s definitely the reason and not because I wasn’t invited”

  6. I would go to a party just BECAUSE Gwyneth Paltrow told me not to.

  7. does “steadfastly refusing to ever leave my house for any reason” count as “boycotting a party”?

  8. I’m going. I’m gonna get up on stage at the party and I’m gonna rip an 8 x 10 glossy of Gwynnie and scream “FOIGHT THE REAL ENEMY.”

  9. “Nuh-uh, G-Pal. I go to awards shows for all the swag” -CelebrityK

  10. Guys, guys Gwyneth is only asking people to boycott the party because its in a place that does not feel clean and neat.

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