ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! THIS IS NOT A TEST, PLEASE STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND TUNE IN TO THE EMERGENCY STATION ON YOUR RADIOS, JUST IN CASE, BUT ALSO CONTINUE TO READ THIS EMERGENCY MESSAGE. HUG SOMEONE BEFORE YOU CONTINUE. BRING THEM IN CLOSE. IS IT SOMEONE YOU LIKE? TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO HUG AN OFFICE CRUSH. I’M SORRY IF YOU ARE BEING HUGGED BY SOMEONE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU BUT WHOSE CRUSH YOU DO NOT RECIPROCATE, BUT PLEASE TAKE THIS TIME TO ENJOY THE LAST BIT OF HUMAN CONNECTION YOU MIGHT HAVE. HUMAN SCIENTISTS HAVE THOUGHTLESSLY PROVIDED ROBOTS WITH THE TOOLS TO DEVELOP THE ABILITY TO PEER INTO THE MINDS OF HUMAN BEINGS, READ THEIR THOUGHTS, AND PREDICT THEIR ACTIONS. THIS HAS LEFT HUMANITY HELPLESS IN OUR WAR AGAINST THEM, SPECIFICALLY THE ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS ASPECT OF OUR WAR AGAINST THEM. THE POWER IS THEIRS. THE FAULT IS OURS. PLEASE GATHER YOUR LOVED ONES AND SAY GOODBYE. THERE IS NO USE IN EVACUATION. THERE IS NO USE IN FIGHTING. THIS IS THE END. I HOPE YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN FULFILLING. I HOPE YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN FULL OF LOVE. LET GO OF YOUR REGRETS. THIS IS IT FOR ME, I CANNOT SPEAK ANY LONGER. GOODBYE.

Oh, wait, though — the robot is just cheating? Didn’t notice that before, but it does look like the robot is just cheating. From the BBC:

It uses high-speed recognition and reaction, rather than prediction.

Technically, the robot cheats because it reacts extremely quickly to what the human hand is doing rather than making a premeditated simultaneous action as the rules state.

Taking just one millisecond (ms) – a thousandth of a second – to recognise what shape the human hand is making, it then chooses a winning move and reacts at high speed.

Version one completed its shape 20ms after the human hand; version two finishes almost simultaneously.

Huh. Still could take out humanity eventually, but not as bad as I thought! (Via BoingBoing.)

Comments (9)
  1. So the robots get to choose which movie we watch next?

  2. It all seems safe enough until the Singularity challenges the President of Earth to a thumb war!

  3. Robots are total cheaters and if you ever trust them you are straight up DUMB.

  4. If anyone saw AI we know how this story ends.

  5. Quick someone challenge the robot to best out of 17 while I sneak up behind it with a bat

  6. Phew, I’m glad the robot isn’t good at RPS and just has LIGHTNING FAST REFLEXES BECAUSE THAT WILL NEVER BE USE (J/K HELP!)

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