Admittedly, the title of this post would probably just squeak out a passing grade at Readable Blog Post Titles That Make Sense School. Or maybe not! FAIL. Sorry. But, so, Jennifer’s Body red band trailer, you guys:
I’m pretty sure that I’m the last person on the Internet to write about this trailer, so there’s not that much left to say. The Awl has already called it a documentary about Megan Fox. Gawker has already voiced tepid enthusiasm. MovieLine has already gone even further and voiced genuine enthusiasm. Entertainment Weekly has already spent a write up talking about Adam Brody, because someone has a crush on Adam Brody. FilmDrunk has already ripped apart the Diablo Cody dialog. And JoBlo has already expressed Megan Fox fatigue.
So we’re pretty much all covered.
But there was one thing about this trailer that really bugged me that no one seems to have mentioned yet:
Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve made peace with the fact that she won an Academy Award for convincing America’s moms that teenagers actually say things like “honest to blog.” And it’s true that Hollywood has worked really hard to brand her as some kind of iconic auteur (did you know she was a stripper?!). But fuck this. FROM THE MIND OF? No, David Blaine. Dude has “written” one miserable movie, and one miserable TV show, and this is a tongue-in-cheek horror movie starring a walking pair of sardonic human breasts and Seth Cohen.
GIVE ME A BREAK NOW PLEASE.
Here, Hollywood, I’ll fix it for you.