HOW WAS YOUR DAY? Are you taking in as much of the perfect fall air as you can before it quickly transforms into cold, painful winter air? Did you get the final pieces for your Halloween costume? Did you fall down the steps? How much coffee did you drink? Did your crush tweet at you? Did the guest of your dreams finally agree to be on your podcast? Well, even if he or she didn’t, I can guarantee that your day isn’t going as badly as Nicolas Cage’s day, because HE MIGHT GET HIS DINOSAUR SKULL TAKEN AWAY! From Moviefone:

The UK’s Telegraph reports that Cage purchased the Tyrannosaurus bataar skull for $276,000 in 2007, outbidding fellow actor Leonardo DiCaprio for the 67 million-year-old fossil. The Tyrannosaurus bataar is a close relative of the T-Rex, and native to Mongolia.

Which is perfect, obviously, no duh we all know that this is perfect so far, but the only problem is that the section of the Gobi Desert from which Nicolas Cage’s dinosaur skull was taken is a target for looters who illegally smuggle the dino bones out in order to sell them to innocent buyers like Nicolas Cage and not Leonardo DiCaprio! Oh nooooo!

One infamous bone broker is American Eric Prokopi, who pleaded guilty last year to illegally importing fossils from China and Mongolia, and is currently facing a possible 17-year prison sentence. According to the former director of the natural history department at the auction house where Cage purchased his Tyrannosaurus bataar, the actor’s fossil came from a collection brought in by Prokopi.

The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement division, currently on a mission to investigate the depth of Prokopi’s illegal business, could now seize Cage’s fossil as part of their mounting evidence in a larger case against Prokopi.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOWWASYOURDAYTHO?

Comments (88)
  1. My day was great! Two things I wrote were accepted for publication (I’d link, but they’re not up yet), the jeans I ordered online from a site that had really confusing sizing because the women’s clothing industry is run by sadistic monsters finally came, and they fit and look awesome, AND when I went to my parent’s house after work they had a cannoli (my favorite dessert) waiting for me! They bought it when they were out; they didn’t just make a single cannoli for my benefit.

    A+ day! would day again.

  2. You don’t just outbid the Pussy Posse and get away with it.

  3. I’m glad you asked me how much coffee I drank because one of the things I wanted to talk about was how much coffee I drank today! It was a lot! I woke up late tonight and had to rush to get to work on time, so I skipped my usual “getting-dressed” coffee at home. So I had to drink a lot at work to make up for it and fight off withdrawl headaches. But the day flew by, so maybe I’ll make it a routine to drink as much coffee as possible.

  4. FLANNY, they’re making a Teddy Roosevelt movie! http://www.deadline.com/2013/10/dreamworks-picks-up-rights-to-new-teddy-roosevelt-book-by-team-of-rivals-author-doris-goodwin-kearns/
    You probably already knew, but there’s the link anyways.

    In other news, it’s Wednesday and my Halloween costume is coming tonight! Pretty much because I complained about the shipping so they overnighted it for free. Yay, I get to be Captain Marvel now!

    Everything else is alright.

  5. I’ve been dealing with a cold I caught on Sunday, confining myself to my quarters as not to infect the other people in the house. I finally got over it today, and went outside, where the weather was beautiful.

    Visual approximation of FRQ:

  6. The little girl who I called child services for, and who was subsequently removed from the centre by her mom, is coming back!!! Very pleased about that! And I had a very good interview for a job in my field, and although I will miss the kids, this one is full time and pays way more and is closer to me. And in my field. So. Also, the rockabilly guy I was so excited about last week called me this morning to tell me he found someone who better suits his lifestyle, which is such a strange thing to say that I am not even upset. His lifestyle is basically going to flea markets and pretending it’s the 50s, which is my entire life. He was a bit of a hoarder. Maybe my house was too clean? Anyway, onward and upward…

    Oh and our Halloween party for the kids was today. Lots of cute costumes and everyone in a great mood. I was Doctor Who! None of the kids had any idea, but one of the dads lost his shit because he loves the doctor and nobody he knows watches it, so new bff and potential affair fodder (jk jk jk) for fatima.

    • which Doctor? The world needs to know.

      • 11, because he’s the easiest. Fez, bowtie, pants that are a bit too short, tweed jacket. Boom. I also wrapped a screwdriver in copper and nickel wire to make it sonic and drew a small tardis on a piece of paper which I kept in my pocket. Pocket tardis. Nbd, it’s bigger on the inside…

        • yay! 11 is my fav. I am going to be crying all the tears at the Christmas ep. I watched The Angels Take Manhattan alone, which was a really good idea because I cried a lot. And not in a cute way, in a scrunchy eyes, runny nose way.

  7. A male person who works in my office loudly announced to the room at large that a couple of female people who work for our company (but in a different office) are c-words. That was the cherry on top of what was already a pretty stressful and mildly infuriating day.

    I will now accept any and all evidence that the world is NOT a godforsaken hellhole.

  8. I just got to work, so my spirit has not been crushed yet.

  9. I got called up to the board to draw the graph of pollutant concentration versus time for a lake in one of my classes this morning and I did it mostly right but slightly wrong (I wasn’t paying attention when the professor said the initial concentration was zero) so it was very embarrassing and know everyone knows I’m an imbecile. Work is going fine, I didn’t have any appointments so I’ve just been doing schoolwork and doing regular internet nonsense.

  10. My day was alright so far, but it’s going to get GREAT, because American Horror Story is on tonight! Has anybody else been watching it? This season is probably better than the 1st, probably not as good as the 2nd, but looks like it will also probably be the most batshit insane season of anything ever. SPOILER ALERT, so far this season has:

    -A magical death vagina
    -An immortal, racist Kathy Bates
    -Witchcraft vs. Voodoo fights
    -A Frankenstein’d frat boy being molested
    -Gabourey Sidibe having sex with a minotaur

    And tonight seems as if it’s going to feature Jessica Lange and Frances Conroy trying to see who can over-act more. It’s gonna be GREAT!

    • I keep meaning to watch this! Maybe I’ll get caught up this weekend.

      • I just ordered me some internets for my home! Woohoo, it’s the end of the world! And American Horror Story show is lead candidate for First Thing I Binge Netflix! (I am assuming it is on Netflix!)

        You guys, here’s a secret: all you have to do is ask if a price is flexible, then hesitate about paying it, and VOILA, Corporate America will make that price go right the heck away. I was supposed to pay $100 for the dumb Uverse router, and although “they can’t change that,” they CAN mail me a $100 gift card. Which is the same thing as making it free, so WhaaaAAAaaaAAA?

        So today’s advice is, Be Cheapskates! It pays!

  11. on monday i started playing in a new band, kind of. i don’t know how i feel about it! the singer from my old dumb band had some solo stuff that was always more popular than our stuff, and after we broke up he played a solo acoustic show that i guess went over pretty well, and now he’s putting a proper band together, and i’m drumming for him again. i’m very ambivalent about it. on one hand i kind of just want to give up playing music, because it just doesn’t quite interest me the way that it used to anymore, and also because the stuff he’s writing now is more complex than our old stuff and i am i mediocre drummer AT BEST, so it has been very challenging and i am quick to give up. BUT, i think i’m going to try to stick with it, for now at least.

    i really don’t want to go into work today. it is the start of the holiday season for us, so every day from now until january is going to be a CRAZY busy nightmare. there’s too many people! and they’re all so rude and gross! i just want to stay home and catch up on the month-long horror movie marathon that i over-ambitiously planned for myself. i’m off tomorrow, though, so that will be nice.

  12. Today I made excellent progress on my very important mission to introduce a new acronym to the world, but I still need help from my fellow monsters. Instead of TCB, I want people to say GSD: Gettin’ Shit Done. I told my boss we were GSD at work today and people loved it. Please start using this in your respective work places. Let’s GSD, guys.

    • Am I allowed to use it if I’m not actually GSD?

    • I’ll support this cause if you’ll throw your weight behind YOKYO: You Only Kill Yourself Once

      • That’s a little morbid for an office motto, but if it helps launch GSD, then okay.

        • YOKYO is more of an everywhere all the time motto depending on how your day is going. Like for example, in addition to the situation I talked about earlier in this post, I didn’t know it was going to rain today and wore a skirt and expensive shoes and then had to walk a half mile home in a downpour without an umbrella and I am so soaked and so over it but I have to leave in like 10 minutes to go to class. #YOKYO

  13. I don’t like coffee, but I do drink tea and this weekend I found this cute little place that sells loose-leaf tea on the CHEAP and I was so excited by the prices that I bought like 10oz of various teas. Today I opened the first one and it tastes basically like stale HAY. So!

    • My weirdo cousin sent my wife breastfeeding tea when she was pregnant. It tasted like sausage. Tea should not taste like sausage.

      Also, I opened up some Starbucks coffee grounds this week, and they straight up tasted like MSG. I threw the rest of the bag away. So I can for sure feel your pain.

    • Assam and Darjeeling for life.

    • I’m a tea drinker too, and now that I’m living in the middle of nowhere again, I really miss the Asian supermarkets that were in my neighborhood when I lived in the city, because they were the only places I could find super cheap loose leaf tea that was actually good. Now I have to order it from stupid hippie websites that charge like a gazillion dollars for shipping.

    • Isn’t all hay stale? Hay is stale grass, right?

      • Actually, hay is DRIED grass. Staling is not synonymous with drying, as things can get stale in moist environments, also. Rather, staling is the degelatinizing of starch.

        Now get back to your party.

  14. Today has been pretty good! Yesterday I found out that I was getting paid somewhat more than usual, and so I immediately went to a secondhand/resale clothing store and bought some things. I have to return half of it because it didn’t fit, but that just means I get to exchange them for something else, so I can’t be mad about it. Right now I’m wearing a new (to me) shirt and so I’ve got some great new-shirt energy going on.

    I also should soon have a date in the next few days with a man who seems great but equally importantly has amazing hair – a big black curly lion’s mane that actually makes me feel pretty jealous. Cross your fingers that I get to touch that hair.

    • Is it Russell Brand?

    • Oh man, after the party on Saturday I posted a joke Missed Connection on Craigslist regarding not finding a guy in the costume that matched mine and totally forgot about it until I opened my email and found dick pics from random guys. Anyhow I loved seeing you guys last weekend.

      • It was awesome to see you too! Bummed you’ll be otherwise engaged (aka rockin’ out) on my birthday party day, but we should plan another thing! I don’t suppose a lot of the LA ‘gummers are Thanksgiving orphans?

        • I’m sorry to miss your birthday for sure, but at the same time, it’s during PEARL JAM weekend, so… Let’s plan something for LA monsters before the end of the year. My parents are coming into town for Thanksgiving so I’m out for that weekend too.

  15. Also, I’m kind of thinking of selling my new house and moving again… Nobody here reads books and the jobs are all in the trades or childcare, because everyone in this province works with their hands and has a billion kids. Also, like 85% of the men have goatees and really bad tattoos. BUT I really really love my house and I finally started to make some friends! I don’t know. We’ll see.

  16. My day was ok. My kiddos had got their midterm tests back today and let’s just say, their Halloween got a whole lot scarier. I did, however, bribe them with candy, so I’m hoping they don’t hate me and totally trash me when course evaluation time rolls around. Most surprising fact: Freshman don’t know what the Parthenon looks like. We only looked at it for 3 class periods. Whatever.

    I’m going through my “middle of the semester, all out of sorts” phase again AND listening to the new Arcade Fire album. It’s amazing, but I don’t think it’s improving my mood. BUT, I’m making potstickers to take over to Manner’s for a halloween scary movie night with Flanny. So woo!

  17. I had a pretty good day! Work was very annoying yesterday and today was better. My face looked good, makeup-wise. Then! I got home and mr truck had made dinner. It was delicious! Also first we opened our anniversary gifts to each other! Not only did I love what he got me, but I think he loved what I got him!! Also we’re leaving Friday morning for our anniversary celebration spectacular! Way to go, mr & mrs truck, on one year of marriage! If it’s still true that the first year of marriage is the hardest, then looks like we’re in for a lifetime of happiness! Actually it looks like that either way. Mr Truck is the best, you guys!

    • AWWWWW!!! You guys are so cute! Mr. Dork and I have been married so long that now we’re pretty much like, “Dinner?” “Sure.” “You wanna cook or should we go out.” “Um, duh.” “I’ll call ahead.” (To be fair, this is the conversation we have all the time, not just for our anniversary.).

      • Well technically our anniversary is on Sunday, so this was just the regular Wednesday dinner, but it’s still nice to have him almost done cooking it when I arrived at home, planning to start it.

  18. My day is great but I’m not sure for Mr. Cage especially if he found out about that issue regarding his tyrannosaurus.

  19. 1) I ate a whole bucket of carbonara last night so there is none left to eat today at work. My girlfriend will be late and eating out is not an option because I am poor and cooking is neither an options because I am a terrible cook who d rather die of starvation than eat his own food.

    IRL I lie to people saying I am an amazing cook sometimes lying to my coworkers that I cook the food I bring from home.

    2) Also my pants are tight and they are giving my a hard on.

  20. Yesterday I finished my book club reading for the weekend. I ended up not making cookies for my coworkers last night. Instead I will buy (some of them, I’m not in a good mood) something. Also, people snuck into my apartment building property last night at 2AMish so I was a little scared to go to sleep. Turns out they were people fixing the roof of a business and snuck onto the property as a shortcut. A noisy, scary shortcut. I did fall asleep around 2:30ish, but now I feel like a zombie. A zombie on Halloween (the most sacred of holidays). How apt.
    I brought my Halloween costume to work and after work and other things will get Halloween costume discount Chipotle and go to the Halloween parade.

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