We haven’t talked about Parenthood‘s fifth season at all yet, but things are mostly business as usual: Haddie is a ghost and you can feel her presence throughout each scene that takes place in her former home; Julia and Joel cannot so much as speak to a member of the opposite sex to whom they are unrelated without having the other one become jealous, which seems insane until you realize that they cannot so much as speak to a member of the opposite sex without being emotionally inappropriate with that person, so the immediate jealousy actually does make some sense; Amber is going to marry her army boyfriend who continues to show signs of crippling emotional instability; Drew accidentally learned about Joni Mitchell; Adam talked to a rapper and now he wants to turn The Luncheonette into a recording studio record company publishing advertising distribution house, which Crosby is unsure about; Victor still can’t read; Sydney is still an unbelievable asshole; so is Zeek; Camille should seriously just divorce him and live the life she wants and deserves to live; remember when he CHEATED ON HER?; Kristina is running for mayor and her campaign advisor keeps spending so much money on juice; Max is good at taking photos and Ray Romano believes in him; Jasmine doesn’t have a plot line other than that she is tired because of her new, awful baby — blah, blah, blah, it all makes sense. Except, wait, oh, right, yeah, Sarah:

SARAH IS A SUPER NOW? Whaaaaaat?! HOW DARE YOU, PARENTHOOD. UNLESS I JUST MISSED SOMETHING. How dare you return for a fifth season and jump right into Sarah, former bartender, former shoe assistant, and former photography assistant, acting as the SUPER OF AN APARTMENT BUILDING. A JOB THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DO, OBVIOUSLY, SO THEN WHY DOES SHE HAVE IT AND HOW DID SHE GET IT? DO YOU EXPECT US TO JUST GO WITH IT? “OH RIGHT, A SUPER, SHE WAS PROBABLY ALWAYS A SUPER? DID WE JUST FORGET? SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN THIS JOB LAST SEASON AND WE’RE ALL JUST FORGETTING,” IS THAT WHAT YOU EXPECTED?! HOW DARE YOU. YOU EXPLAIN TO US WHY SHE IS A SUPER! YOU GIVE US AT LEAST ONE LINE OF EXPLANATORY DIALOGUE! “UGH, WHY DID I EVER, GOD, I DON’T KNOW, APPLY FOR THIS JOB AFTER I SAW THE LISTING IN THE NEWSPAPER AND THEN GET IT BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL SUPER DIED AND I LIED AND TOLD EVERYONE THAT BEFORE HE DIED HE TOLD ME I WAS THE NEW SUPER.” SOMETHING! PARENTHOOD! ARE YOU LISTENING?!?!!? Please participate in this poll:

When The Fuck Did Sarah Become A Super On Parenthood?

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Comments (27)
  1. Sarah’s always been super to me.

  2. Let me just say that I am ridiculously impressed that anyone, even a seasoned professional like Kelly, can remember all the characters on this show’s names. I’m usually like “Oh man you know, the kid, the girl kid who like moved out into that weird but still nice place with like a pad lock on it or something? She dates Matt Seracen. Yeah, that one.”

    • Cancer Mom or Lawyer Mom? Lawyer Mom’s Husband? Smart Brother or Frito from Idiocracy? Other guy? Coach? Coach’s Wife? Black Wife? Autistic Kid or Biracial Kid? Baby? Unhappy Adopted Kid? Girl Kid Who Isn’t On The Show Anymore? Girl Kid Who Dates Matt Seracen (a.k.a. Her?)? Matt Seracen? Gilmore Girls? Ray Romano?

    • It’s not Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford). It’s Luke Cafferty (Matt Lauria). I’m okay with you getting characters from Parenthood wrong because that show is the worst and I hate every single character on it (my fiancee doesn’t though so I find myself watching it pretty much every week even though I beg her to watch it when I’m not around) but Friday Night Lights deserves our respect.

      • Have I not already proven that I’m really bad at remembering character names? This is no place for details!

        • Sorry, Superglue. If it makes you feel better, I have been chastised in the form of downvotes although I’m not entirely sure what for. Do these people really love Parenthood or really hate Friday Night Lights?

  3. I thought she was working as a super in order to have more time to stay home and work on her next play inspired by all the wedding photographs she takes of people wearing shoes with beepers in them.

  4. The most engaging story line on this show is my trying to decide which of the fifty concurrent story lines I care about the least.

  5. i don’t watch this show, so i’m just going to believe that she has become superhuman.

  6. You have the watch the prequel to really understand:

  7. I don’t know. I am not concerned about it because she is a terrible person who breaks the heart of that Jason Ritter boy every chance she gets.

    My REAL concern is how they are probably going to make Joel cheat or almost cheat on Julia with Penny (LOST, anyone?) which he WOULD NEVER DO BECAUSE HE IS A PERFECT HUMAN BEING and I will have the Parenthood writers arrested for character assassination.

  8. I feel like I also needed some more explanation on WHY IS RAY ROMANO AROUND?! This is what happened when I started episode 1 of this season:

    ‘Wait, what? Sarah’s a super? Does she have any of the necessary knowledge to do that’?
    ‘Wait, WHAT? What is Ray Romano doing here? Didn’t he move to some cold north place to be with his daughter? So he’s just back?’
    ‘Why is there no ‘Previously on Parenthood’ to explain this?! Did I even WATCH the last episode?!’

  9. I have so many problems with this season, including but not limited to:

    1. Joel’s boss’s name is Pete, but it’s a woman! You know, because so many women are named Pete.
    2. “Please can I be mayor of Berkeley Werkeley? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” — Kristina
    3. Ryan: “Let’s get married!” Amber: “Sure! What’s your last name again?”
    4. “You know what business is totally booming right now? The record label industry.” — Adam

    • 1. I think it’s Peet, because that’s her last name? I don’t know where I came up with that idea. It might have been in the credits.
      2. She’s going to lose.
      3. This also isn’t going to happen.
      4. The Luncheonette will be successful in whatever it does because some reason.

  10. What is she holding in that photo? Is that a plunger that she has pressed against her shirt? If you need to wear gloves to handle something, you probably shouldn’t have it pressed on your body.

    Sorry, my OCD kicks in even when it’s related to a fictional story.

    • If it makes you feel any better, it’s a toilet snake:

      • Hmmm. Well, I don’t know how a toilet snake works. If it goes into a toilet bowl, then I still wouldn’t want it by my clothes.

        I get really uncomfortable watching cop shows when they have to handle dead bodies or dig through a dumpster. Breaking Bad was one of the most “dirty” shows I’ve ever watched. I was constantly thinking, “Wash your hands!”

  11. I normally don’t complain about fictional character’s finances, but since we’re talking about Parenthood right now – what is up with Christina running for mayor on every level!? They just paid for cancer treatments and Haddie’s Ivy League education and you know, now she’ll just run for mayor and pay for expenses out of pocket for a while! It drives me crrraaazzzzzyyyyy! I do not like anything about this plotline and I am an apologist for this show.

    Back on point, they didn’t say anything about Sarah’s career change. I’m okay with it in light of bigger problems (see above).

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