Holy shit. Sit down. Are you sitting? I don’t care if you sit down all day and this is your chance to get up and stretch your legs, just LISTEN TO ME. Do you want me to tell you this news, have you pass out, fall the the ground, land on something, break your head, and then never be able to walk or do anything again because you’ll be dead? Is that what you want?! WELL THIS IS THE KIND OF NEWS THAT WILL MAKE YOU PASS OUT AND DIE SO PLEASE JUST SIT YOUR STUPID BUTT DOWN! From Life & Style:

Five months after their split, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson still haven’t completely moved on.

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that the duo secretly hooks up when they’re both in town!

“They’ve always had a passion for each other,” a source tells the mag, “so even though the relationship didn’t work out, they still hook up when they’re in LA.”

In fact, a friend confirms to Life & Style that Kristen even spent an evening at Robert’s rental house on Oct. 9. When her assistant came to pick her up from Rob’s pad the next morning, “she was in a great mood,” dishes the friend. “They had ordered food in and stayed up late talking. She said hanging out with Rob was just like old times.”

WHAT A PERFECT FRIEND! “The most important thing in a friend, to me, is someone who will take what I tell them directly to Life & Style‘s website, and report it to them it in the plain, dishy tone in which all gossip seems to be reported to gossip magazines.” But, so. AHHHHHHHH! HOOKING UP?! WHAT DOES THIS MEEAAANNNUUHHHHHHHH. GUUUUUYYSSSSSSSSSSS! (Orange you glad I told you to sit down?!) (Bananas!)  (Via Celebitchy.)

Comments (15)
  1. Dream couple back in action!!!! All my voodoo dolls worked!

  2. “Spotted: Two people nobody really cares about anymore (I mean they can’t, can they? BUT WHY??) doing boring things together that seriously why is this even still a thing? You know you love me but I’m over it, XOXO, Gossip Girl”

  3. What kind of food did they order? I don’t have dinner planned and I don’t want to go grocery shopping, and I’d like to eat like the stars.

  4. Stars—they make terrible decisions with their exes just like us!

  5. Is “she was in a great mood” Hollywood code for she just had great sex?

  6. The story of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is that they might be hooking up, but a counterpoint to this story is that they might not be hooking up.

  7. People with beautiful hair are so interesting.

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