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Since Videogum first began, not a day has gone by without an email from a concerned tipster wondering whether or not Gwyneth Paltrow likes Spain. Most of the emails are frantically written and in ALL CAPS. Messages such as “DOES GWYNATH ENJOY TRAVELING IN SPAIN? PLEASE HELP!” Or, “WHAT I NEED TO KNOW IS WHETHER OR NOT GWYNETH PALTROW HAS ENJOYED THE SPANICH CULTURE SINCE SHE WAS CHILD!!!1!!”. Well, I have some GREAT NEWS, there is a new interview with her, and it is all about this important topic! It is titled “Gwyneth Paltrow Says Spain Changed Her Life,” because of course that’s what it is titled. From the AP:

NEW YORK – Gwyneth Paltrow speaks almost perfect Spanish — and she does it with an Iberian accent.

The Oscar-winning actress says she traveled to Spain as a teenager, fell in love with the country, and embraces the culture to the point that she visits at least once a year and makes sure her young children, Apple and Moses, also speak the language.

“When I was 15, I went to a small town outside Talavera de la Reina and I had the most wonderful experience. It really changed my life,” Paltrow said in fluent Spanish during a recent interview.

Paltrow said Spain “became a second home.”

Phew! That is a load off. It’s going to be a lot easier to sleep at night. Although something is weird about this interview. Gwyneth doesn’t seem to make any of her trademark tone-deaf comments belying her self-satisfaction and condescending world view. Oh wait, yes she does:

“It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C., it’s incredible,” she said.

“Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren’t running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don’t always have their Blackberries on.”

Paltrow remains close to the family she lived with in Spain, calling them “my Spanish mother” and “my brothers” from Spain. Her success as an actress, she says, hasn’t impressed them.

Yeah, SPAIN DOES SEEM TO HAVE A HISTORY. And the buildings are YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS OLD. Jeez, talking to her must be like talking to an Encyclopedia of Knowledge. STOP PROFESSOR, MY BRAIN CAN ONLY ACCEPT 80GB OF FACTS AT A TIME!

Also, it’s weird that her Spanish family isn’t impressed with her success as an actress. I know that a European Region DVD of Duets is available.

In any case, more great news you guys:

Paltrow recently launched a Spanish-language version of her Web site, GOOP.com.

El perfecto!

Comments (42)
  1. She doesn’t fool me! Her children speak Spanish because her maid is probably Mexican.

    • Puerto Rican. She lives in New York with her Blackberry on ALL THE TIME in case Uncle Jay wants to stop by. She has to go to Spain to sloooow down her hectic lifestyle of yoga and working out for hours a day and making Oprah visits and shopping.

  2. I hope her Spanish family cuts off her index finger.

  3. An American Patriot Can't Sign In  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +82

    THIS JUST IN: Spain commits suicide.

    • Ginger Ball Z  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +34

      Why does Videogum HATE FREEDOM? Let my PEOPLE SIGN IN, fascist PIGS! (Did I get the emPHAsis right?)

    • Selena  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +9

      Well, Spain did have a really tough time dealing with the loss of the gloved one.

  4. Carrie   |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +75

    That is literally exactly what every college sophomore who studies abroad in Europe says when they come back to America. Like, “Um, stop offering me Franzia, I’ve BEEN TO ITALY.”

    • You took the words right out of my mouth. I could go the rest of my life without another college student introducing me to the wonders of Nutella.

  5. 17 year-old buildings? Some one please run with scissors… into her. I can’t wait till she tries and Iron Man suit on and insists that it complies to weapons commands in Spanish. Artard…

  6. I’d like to introduce her to my 100 year old brownstone. It ain’t 500BC, but it’s a little older than 17 years.

    She thinks old construction was built in 1991? A car, maybe, but American buildings?

  7. I bet goop has some great recipes for chicken wings.

  8. Vamos a necesitar un UGH más grande

  9. Wow. When I started reading “Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C.” I had to go back and make sure it was quoting Gwyneth, because I thought it was Gabe mocking her. So she has never been to the state of Massachussetts I take it? I never thought it would take Gwyneth Paltrow to make my patriotism kick in COME ON AN AMERICAN PATRIOT LET’S LEAD THE CHANT: U S A! U S A!

    • An American Patriot CANNOT LOG IN  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +26

      HELL YEAH Sassy MOLASSY!

      I think this BITCH IS FORGETTING that all those old ass buildings would just be RUBBLE if we hadn’t stopped in to Europe TO OWN SOME FACES IN DUBYA DUBYA DOS!

      She needs to just GIT THE HELL OUT!

  10. Gregorious II  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +38

    Really though, who doesn’t travel to Talavera de la Reina when they’re fifteen?

    Bit of a cliche there, Gwyn my dear.

  11. el proofo that el gwynetho really is el worsto

  12. Fart  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 -2

    She named her fucking kids Apple and Moses. What a cunt.

  13. MoonJewel  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +32

    First, no one calls it Iberian accent, it’s Castellano to all those who live in Spain. Guess what, Portugal is also in the Iberian Peninsula and they don’t speak Spanish with any accent. Second, old houses in the East Coast are 100+ years old. No one lives in 2500 old buildings in Spain. Maybe from the Middle ages (1400 CE or AD depending on which one you use), but the idea that there are all these buildings around that are pre-Roman is stupid. I’ve only went there twice and I know more than this woman who goes every year? Gwyneth Paltrow = :( and should be forced to learn more about Spain before ever being allowed to speak about it again.

  14. Gwyneth es la peor.

  15. Gooper Scooper  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +61

    Hello; my name is Inigo Montoya. You love my country. Prepare to die.

  16. Really Gabe, why are you surprised that Gwyneth Paltrow’s Spanish family aren’t impressed by her acting career. I mean, we’re not even impressed with her acting career, and we speak the English language. How can you expect someone to like something that not only is awful, but they are unable to understand? Language barriers!

  17. “When I was 15, I went to a small town outside Talavera de la Reina and I had the most wonderful experience. It really changed my life.”

    Changed what? Changed you into an insufferable bitch? Either Spain is full of The Worst people ever, or you’re a fucking liar.

  18. I won’t believe she really loves Spain until I see her birth certificate.

  19. Nate  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +42

    Most of that information about Spain was plagiarized from a report I gave in middle school.

    “Los edificios de España tienen mucho años y años…”

  20. Her success as an actress, she says, hasn’t impressed them.”
    Me neither, not one little bit.

    Gwynnie, doll…you really should take part in the running of the bulls in Pamplona. That would be so very authentic Spanish of you, but do it in $2500 heels!

  21. Eli  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +72

    The phrase “like a second home” means less when it comes from a person with, like, nine homes.

  22. I wonder if when she introduces her children to people they laugh at their ridiculous names as much as I did.

  23. Gregorious II  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +11

    Does anyone know if Kevin Spacey is visiting Spain anytime soon?

  24. grace_delano_spain  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +10

    for sure, gwyneth is the worst. but take heart, because for every awful person out there, for every gwenyth paltrow, mcg, and seth macfarland, there is a great person to keep the balance. that’s life.

    you, gabe, are the best.

  25. The problem really is having Gwyneth eroding Spain’s reputation. We appreciated the first time she came over to promote Seven and she spoke a great spanish. It was like a novelty, every other celebrity but Kirk Douglas or Martin Sheen (iberoamericans after all) were ignorant Spainwise.

    I guess, somehow, it is our fault for encouraging her on thinking we actually care. Blame us.

  26. Maggie B.  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +3

    All of Spain eagerly awaits the 2009 Almoldovar film “Las Puertas Correderas” in which Penelope Cruz changes time and space to somehow change history and ensure that Gwyneth never visits their country.

  27. Pablo  |   Posted on Jul 2nd, 2009 +2

    ¿Por qué Gwyneth? ¿Por qué no nos dejas en paz? Primero nuestro equipo de fútbol pierde contra el de los EEUU, y ahora, ¿tendremos que soportarte también? No hay justicia en el universo.

  28. Jacob  |   Posted on Jul 2nd, 2009 +14

    We lack history on this side fo the atlantic? Take THAT Native Americans, Gwenny says you don’t exist!

  29. She is gifted. She could describe her BM’s and make them sound pretentious. Jay-Z, stop being friends with her!

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