OK, this PC business is getting out of control. It’s complicated, because he is basically a child, only 18 years old, which is even younger than Soulja Boy (America’s Most Public Infant). So, you know, it’s like you don’t want to pile on a child (yikes, that is what she said, from jail) for being so gay when he is clearly in the midst of trying to figure it all out, but the clues this show is dropping are just borderline corny. In the opening scene, he is dipping french fries in a Caribou coffee (because despite his airs, he is still in fucking high school where shit like that is acceptable) and going over his date last week with whoever those two girls were (how long until it is no longer reasonable to pretend like I don’t remember who any of these people are? Forever? Perfect) and he’s like “it’s not like I was trying to get with them or anything.” No kidding. And he calls Jessie a bitch. And Jessie slaps him. And all of that is mostly whatever, because kids will be kids, but then Jessie casually says “do you want to make out?” which to be completely honest, is mostly something that I have heard straight girls say to gay guys when they were drunk and bored. When straight girls are talking to straight guys they don’t say things like that because of this thing called sexual tension. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for a straight girl to say this to a straight guy, duh, but I am saying that RED FLAG RED FLAG.

And naturally PC is like “um, after all of this food we just ate, no. Yucky!” Just in case your red flag was not red enough.

And there is more.

PC (wearing a tuxedo jacket, naturally) goes to a therapist (whose office is in the basement of Zarin Fabrics) because he has decided that he wants a relationship. Just classic high school stuff. He has clearly watched Good Will Hunting and Charlie Bartlett way too many times. Relax with the cliche precocious youth at the therapist’s office garbage, PC. “The hardest thing to do is to look inside yourself.” Right. And then Robin Williams gives him a hug and he is cured. But so, in the continuing assault against PC’s stated sexual orientation, his therapist is like “you are intolerant with yourself.” YIKES. Again, sure, that’s just a thing that a lady said in an office, but let’s not play games: the word “intolerant” is pretty loaded. And later, he meets with his ex-girlfriend Amanda to find out what he did wrong in the relationship, you know, how high school kids are always doing, and he explains that he just “needs to get more comfortable with [himself]” and it’s like OK, BRAVO, MY HEAD IS COVERED IN BRUISES YOU CAN STOP BEATING IT NOW.

PC goes to meet Jessie at a clothing store to help her with her charity, but after showing up an hour late, all he wants to do is shop. You know high school boys and their love of shopping for clothes. “Can you hurry?” Jessie says. “Are you talking to me, Jessie?” PC says. “You were an hour late,” Jessie says. “Well you know how picky I am about my shirts.”


But, so, PC goes on a blind date (this show is basically a documentary about every high schooler’s experience ever, it just oozes regular life) with a LADY, but she stands him up. He waits at the restaurant for 45 minutes and then calls Jessie (his nickname for her is Crutch) and then leaves. And that is shitty. No one likes to get stood up, even confused people. PC says that he was trying a new thing (which part?) and that it didn’t work out and that that is hurtful, which I guess is true. Especially when you are a baby. A crybaby. SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN NOW, PC, IT IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL REALLY.

Meanwhile there is also Sebastian.

I mean, there are also three other girls on this show, but who cares about them? They are boring and interchangeable and they order salads with no dressing because youth plus money plus body image = :( ! Sebastian, meanwhile, is a sexual grifter. He does actually speak French, which makes him the first person on this show to be able to back up any of their ridiculous posturing. He takes a girl to a French restaurant to impress her. Then he kisses her. Later, he calls the other girls at a spa and tells them that he kissed the first girl. They aren’t happy. And for a brief moment this actually seems like high school. Kissing and mild backstabbing and playground mindgames. There just happen to be Blackberries and facial masks and dinners in restaurants, but otherwise it is high school. Which also means it is not interesting.

Which is the problem that this show cannot possibly gloss over, no matter how many loft spaces the producers rent out so that the kids can have a party, or how many free meals they arrange with adult restaurants in exchange for airtime publicity: high school is boring. The machinations of high school are boring. Children are boring, and the things that children do to each other are boring. Just to give you a sense of what children are really like when you take away all of the expensive editing and the producer manipulation, at one point on the show, Sebastian brings one of the girls cupcakes, and she interviews:

“I’m like, obsessed with cupcakes. Like, I like them more than cake.”


Comments (38)
  1. welcome to costco, i love you  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +11

    ha, i also noticed the cupcake interview – fascinating!!

    and yes, the lives of high schoolers are boring, although but no less boring than all of the real housewives. at least the nyc prep cast has a chance to turn their lives around (they won’t turn their lives around).

  2. Cake > Cupcakes

  3. Carrie  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +19

    Sebastian is such a typical urban blue-blood sexual manipulator high school boy’s name. They should call this show Gossip Girl 2: 2 Sexe 2 Intentions.

    P.S. Someone fucking fix this sign-in issue. I am paranoid that people won’t know who I am if my name isn’t in purple with Chuck Close to the left of my comment!

  4. So PC is the Waylon Smithers of NYC Prep?

  5. sarah palin  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +5

    k but seriously, i’ve had a girl straight-up ask me if I wanted to make out. Does that make me gay? i was in spain, does that make me not gay? she had a really nice guitar i wanted to play. can i be straight now again please?
    girls are so confusing.

  6. I watch my fair share of trashy tv. I like Gossip Girl. But I tried to watch this last night and literally couldn’t make it through 10 minutes of these annoying brats all seemingly vying for the title of Worst Teenager in the World. Hats off to you, Gabe, for taking one for the team

  7. Isn’t being boring the highest achievement of realism? Are you sure this isn’t the greatest work of art of all time? ARE YOU SURE?

  8. My favorite line was “what do you want to be when you grow up?” “like a philosopher” “really?” “maybe”. Then Sabastion wants to change his womanizing ways cause this girl has intrigued him with her aspirations of a fake profession.

  9. Eric  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +8

    The NYC Prep people totally failed to grasp that the key to the success of “high school” shows like Gossip Girl and its predecessors was that one of the “high school” characters act or talk anything like real teenagers do.* Because real teenagers are awful, and yes, boring. Chuck Bass is like forty years old, and therefore interesting.

    *Except My So Called Life, which had the distinction of actually being good.

    • Eric  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +7

      D’oh- “NONE of the ‘high school’ characters,” not “one,” though I suppose Jenny Humphrey acts like a real teenager sometimes.

    • menyc  |   Posted on Jul 4th, 2009 +4

      Freaks and Geeks shares the distinction of being a really great teen show.

  10. Eric  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +3

    The NYC Prep people totally failed to grasp that the key to the success of “high school” shows like Gossip Girl and its predecessors was that none of the “high school” characters act or talk anything like real teenagers do.* Because real teenagers are awful, and yes, boring. Chuck Bass is like forty years old, and therefore interesting.

    *Except My So Called Life, which had the distinction of actually being good.

  11. Sharkleberry  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 -14

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • -Gwyneth Paltrow

      • Ha! But if it was a real Gwynny quote, it would have continued “Why don’t Americans realize the best way to escape from the daily grind is to hop on your private jet — emblazoned with your own face, of course — to Talavera de la Reina? Bask in its divineness! If your inner aspect is still undernourished after touring the extremely ancient European (and therefore superior) ruins, return to your hotel suite and hire a local bejeweled dwarf to massage your temples as you relax in a bath of warm, sweet milk and virgins’ blood. Divine.”

      • wolf  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +7

        i tried to up vote this so many times i had to spend a couple minutes ok-ing the warning notices

  12. A minor quibble (at risk of being Joke Hitler of this post):

    While it’s true that high school problems don’t matter, and they are boring to adults, and a television show should never be made about them, it’s difficult for people who have never been out of high school to realize this in more than an abstract way (I know: Duh!). It’s like how any of our adult problems would hilariously trite in Sub-Saharan Africa, and even though we all know that, its difficult for us to integrate that information into our lives in more than an abstract way (I’m just like King of Duh Mountain.).

    ANYWAY: I think it’s kind of unfair to pick on this kid for seeing a therapist for his high school problems. If he really is struggling with his sexuality, seeing a professional to help organize his experiences and emotions is just about the smarest, most mature decision he can make.

  13. Gregorious II  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +3

    This show explains a lot about Gwyneth Paltrow.

    It’s all happening.

  14. What’s the weird way Sebastian hugs?

    • madfishes  |   Posted on Jul 3rd, 2009 +3

      YES. i was wondering if anyone noticed this. every time he acknowledges a lady, he has heart attack arm. is that some sort of weird way to avoid a boner or something?

  15. That wormy little Sebastian fellow looks like David Cassidy circa 1973, but gayer, if that’s even possible.

  16. Raoul Duke  |   Posted on Jul 1st, 2009 +8

    Jessie seems a little over-confident for someone who looks exactly like Stevie from Eastbound and Down.

  17. i think that blonde haired girl on the show is running for the “Ugliest Person To Ever Appear On My Television” award

    • Kendall  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 -1

      that’s totally messed , I mean what are you? A twelve year old, gosh I mean come one making fun of someone’s looks is so 7th grade. Not to mention that’s its rude, I mean haven’t you ever heard of the golden rule? Treat people how you want to be treated.

  18. sloopjohnB  |   Posted on Jul 2nd, 2009 -1

    OMG LOL BFF KFC charlie bartlett for worst movie of all time. por favor, gabe. POR FAVOR!

  19. B S Green  |   Posted on Jul 2nd, 2009 +3

    Robin Williams hugged away my gout

  20. Kendall  |   Posted on Jul 9th, 2009 0

    I personally find the show entertaining,but it really depends on the age group and the viewer. To be honest the sebastian,Taylor and Kelli love triangle is a cliche and a bit boring for me since i see it all the time. I mean like the others said high school drama is boring , its true cause its the same things over and over again. The most intresting parts of the show are pc, jessi and camille.Since its not something I see everyday, which i think is the whole point of the show.Thats simply my opinon put into words.

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