OK, this PC business is getting out of control. It’s complicated, because he is basically a child, only 18 years old, which is even younger than Soulja Boy (America’s Most Public Infant). So, you know, it’s like you don’t want to pile on a child (yikes, that is what she said, from jail) for being so gay when he is clearly in the midst of trying to figure it all out, but the clues this show is dropping are just borderline corny. In the opening scene, he is dipping french fries in a Caribou coffee (because despite his airs, he is still in fucking high school where shit like that is acceptable) and going over his date last week with whoever those two girls were (how long until it is no longer reasonable to pretend like I don’t remember who any of these people are? Forever? Perfect) and he’s like “it’s not like I was trying to get with them or anything.” No kidding. And he calls Jessie a bitch. And Jessie slaps him. And all of that is mostly whatever, because kids will be kids, but then Jessie casually says “do you want to make out?” which to be completely honest, is mostly something that I have heard straight girls say to gay guys when they were drunk and bored. When straight girls are talking to straight guys they don’t say things like that because of this thing called sexual tension. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for a straight girl to say this to a straight guy, duh, but I am saying that RED FLAG RED FLAG.
And naturally PC is like “um, after all of this food we just ate, no. Yucky!” Just in case your red flag was not red enough.
And there is more.
PC (wearing a tuxedo jacket, naturally) goes to a therapist (whose office is in the basement of Zarin Fabrics) because he has decided that he wants a relationship. Just classic high school stuff. He has clearly watched Good Will Hunting and Charlie Bartlett way too many times. Relax with the cliche precocious youth at the therapist’s office garbage, PC. “The hardest thing to do is to look inside yourself.” Right. And then Robin Williams gives him a hug and he is cured. But so, in the continuing assault against PC’s stated sexual orientation, his therapist is like “you are intolerant with yourself.” YIKES. Again, sure, that’s just a thing that a lady said in an office, but let’s not play games: the word “intolerant” is pretty loaded. And later, he meets with his ex-girlfriend Amanda to find out what he did wrong in the relationship, you know, how high school kids are always doing, and he explains that he just “needs to get more comfortable with [himself]” and it’s like OK, BRAVO, MY HEAD IS COVERED IN BRUISES YOU CAN STOP BEATING IT NOW.
PC goes to meet Jessie at a clothing store to help her with her charity, but after showing up an hour late, all he wants to do is shop. You know high school boys and their love of shopping for clothes. “Can you hurry?” Jessie says. “Are you talking to me, Jessie?” PC says. “You were an hour late,” Jessie says. “Well you know how picky I am about my shirts.”
But, so, PC goes on a blind date (this show is basically a documentary about every high schooler’s experience ever, it just oozes regular life) with a LADY, but she stands him up. He waits at the restaurant for 45 minutes and then calls Jessie (his nickname for her is Crutch) and then leaves. And that is shitty. No one likes to get stood up, even confused people. PC says that he was trying a new thing (which part?) and that it didn’t work out and that that is hurtful, which I guess is true. Especially when you are a baby. A crybaby. SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN NOW, PC, IT IS NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL REALLY.
Meanwhile there is also Sebastian.
I mean, there are also three other girls on this show, but who cares about them? They are boring and interchangeable and they order salads with no dressing because youth plus money plus body image = ! Sebastian, meanwhile, is a sexual grifter. He does actually speak French, which makes him the first person on this show to be able to back up any of their ridiculous posturing. He takes a girl to a French restaurant to impress her. Then he kisses her. Later, he calls the other girls at a spa and tells them that he kissed the first girl. They aren’t happy. And for a brief moment this actually seems like high school. Kissing and mild backstabbing and playground mindgames. There just happen to be Blackberries and facial masks and dinners in restaurants, but otherwise it is high school. Which also means it is not interesting.
Which is the problem that this show cannot possibly gloss over, no matter how many loft spaces the producers rent out so that the kids can have a party, or how many free meals they arrange with adult restaurants in exchange for airtime publicity: high school is boring. The machinations of high school are boring. Children are boring, and the things that children do to each other are boring. Just to give you a sense of what children are really like when you take away all of the expensive editing and the producer manipulation, at one point on the show, Sebastian brings one of the girls cupcakes, and she interviews:
“I’m like, obsessed with cupcakes. Like, I like them more than cake.”