I don’t watch The Walking Dead, and Gabe (now a zombie himself) didn’t even watch the last season of The Walking Dead, so it would probably be fair enough to let the season four premiere come and go without saying a word about it. The end. Hahah. THE END, END OF POST, GOODBYE. No, I’m kidding, of course I’m going to say more — I’ve already opened my text mouth and the letter noises have to come out. But: I feel like a bunch of you guys still watch The Walking Dead? I feel like we partially got you into this Walking Dead mess, and now you’re real deep in it, and I don’t want to take away a forum for Walking Dead discussion that might serve as a Purpose rope in the zombie quicksand. (Just this one time, though.) (We’re not going to do this every week, so please enjoy it.) (If you are even here. Are you all off somewhere enjoying Columbus Day?)  (If so: how dare you. If some of us have to spend our time on a computer talking about The Walking Dead on a beautiful day like today, ALL OF US DO.) So, for you, I have scanned a few Walking Dead recaps from other blogs and will do my best to pretend like I watched it. Soooo. That thing about the animals dying was pretty sad, right? I hate to see animals die. And when Patrick got sick at the end with the same thing that the animals had and died? Whaaaaat! It’s like, zombies sure, but Patrick getting sick with the animal disease and dying?! No way! And now Daryl, Glen, Hershel, Carol, and Sasha are the leaders together, and Rick doesn’t even want to carry a gun? It’s like, which show am I even watching here! Is Clara okay? Are Glen and Maggie going to have a baby? What are they going to name it? How is Carl doing with all of it, do you think? Is it confusing to have characters named Carl, Carol, and Clara? DID U WATCH, WHAT DID U THINK?

Comments (38)
  1. *crickets*

  2. YEAH, where IS that guy??

    ##### MISSING #####
    ==== PATRICK M ====
    ——- LAST SEEN: ——-

  3. Well I’m still watching it and I enjoyed it.

    I did have an issue with one thing, however. Whenever anyone in the zombie apocalypse says “I’m not feeling well” they are going to be immediately locked in a cell where they can either get better or die and become a zombie.

    And, we all knew that lady was taking Rick to some kind of zombie right off the bat, right? I thought it might be a baby zombie but I knew it wasn’t a person (or at least an alive person).

    • Thank you, wallflower.

    • Does Sasha know her husband is making out with that other lady? Did they get officially separated or does he go crying to Not Sasha in secret?

      I am glad that Michonne has a personality, although I was a very big fan of her being a silent bad ass.

      I didn’t know that woods lady was leading Rick to a zombie, although I knew she was up to no good. At first I thought she was a zombie that could talk, and that somehow she was healing herself, and this season would be about finding a cure, but then I realized she was just really dirty.

      • I thought she was a talking zombie at first too! Are you talking about Sasha and Tyreese? Because they are brother/sister not husband/wife. I thought they were a couple as well but then he said something to her about “was there ever a time when you weren’t the boss of me” and she said “the few years before I was born” or something like that. So, I looked it up because I’m a nerd and they are siblings.

  4. I AM enjoying my Columbus Day off, thanks for asking, Kelly!!!

  5. I have watched/hate-watched this show since the beginning, and was a fan of the comic book before the show premiered. Like the show, the comic was guilty of starring characters who wear their hearts on their sleeves, spouting dialogue that would make any high school English teacher wince. But also like the show, the comic book was interesting because it was a zombie apocalypse story in which the zombie apocalypse played a backseat to the melodrama. Additionally, any character could die at just about any time, which lent a certain amount of suspense to almost every moment. So it has those things going for it.

    Nevertheless, I would argue that the show pretty much sucks, with some very uneven acting, writing and pacing. Gabe’s recaps of old were always right on the money. Yet, like the comic book, it remains entertaining. I still watch the show, and even though I haven’t seen the premiere yet (it’s DVR’d), I am comfortable with my prediction that it will be terrible.

    What really gets me about this show (the purpose of this long post, sorry tl;dr) is the amount of praise that gets heaped upon it. Granted, it gets a solid rating for AMC and that’s no small achievement, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT A GOOD SHOW. The Chris Hardwick re-caps are especially grating to me, like this thing needs to be disseminated like a presidential address. It’s a garbage show, guys. The amount of nerdy gravitas this series receives makes me wince.

  6. I stopped watching awhile back. Are they still looking for Sophia?

  7. Beaver from Veronica Mars was there!

    SPOILERS But I guess not anymore.

  8. I missed the first half, because since I heard a scary amount of Americans believe in a zombie apocalypse, the show lost it’s edginess.

    However, I enjoyed the scene where the strange dude, contemplating whether or not to steal a bottle of wine at the suburban Walmart, loudly bangs it back onto the shelf. Then the shelf falls over, spilling its delicious contents all over the floor. Like they should have ended the series with that scene.

    Then the zombies start fallign through the roof. Was the Walmart underground or was that the roof? Well, Rick et al. could have used some strategically placed trampolines at that moment.

    The episode was weird. Darryl got a hug from a girl, and I was a little touched jealous.

    Also, try not to get pregnant, female characters in a southern hellscape.

    I’m spending my Columbus Day in my living room with a cup of coffee and Divorce Court.

    • And he could have used those broken bottles as weapons! Missed opportunity.

      Your Columbus day sounds great. I love Court TV, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen Divorce Court. I enjoy the People’s Court mostly, but have seen a significant amount Judge Mathis.

      The other day I stumbled on an entire channel of Court TV, which is both amazing and horrible! Judge Karen (I think) was pretty amusing.

      • It’s only 2 episodes, but any day I get to watch a single episode of Divorce Court is a good day. It’s just terrible people who should have never slept/married/moved in/procreated together getting schooled by the lady judge with the chunky necklaces.

    • I watched some crappy Discovery show about building end-of-the-world bunkers last night. One of the guys brings his family to a gun range and has them practice for the zombie apocalypse. it was funny, but also terrifying that there are people out there preparing to shoot up everyone at the first sign of shit hitting the fan*

      *so, probably Thursday.

      • The gun range that mr. truck’s best friend goes to has zombie target pages.

      • Some guy in Staten Island around the time of the last season (that’s around when I lost interest in this show) shot his girlfriend (didn’t kill her, thank goodness) because she denied the plausibility of a zombie apocalypse.

  9. I don’t think this is a great show, but I do think it is fun to watch.
    That being said, I HATED the season 3 finale for a lot of reasons that I won’t go into but most of them were regarding the [SPOILER] complete wimp-out of confrontation with the governor and the return to the prison. I can imagine a version of this show where the typical arc of the season is about searching for safety, thinking you have it, and being forced to leave that version of safety. Basically it seems unlikely that any one location can be sustainable for very long in the actual zombie apocalypse. So I thought them returning to the prison was a total cop-out because the prison was not the perfect place they wanted to imagine it was.
    That being said! I was surprised that I really liked how the season started – the new normal with the crops and stuff and a much better plan for outsiders (zombies and people). I am excited to see how their utopia will be destroyed (as we know it will be) but I’m guessing that my interest in the show will vary depending on how much governor talk there is (more governor = more hatred). I also think it’ll be more interesting to imagine larger forces (government, rebuilding, etc) and this group trying to seek out other survivors to that end. Imagining them staying secluded is less interesting to me.

    • I loved Carol reading to the kids and when that guy’s back was turned she decided to give them a lesson on knives. #Shanking101

    • I may be remembering this wrong but [SPOILER ALERT] I think the governor gets killed in the comic book when his group attacks the prison. (Not to mention Rick’s wife and baby and whole bunch of other people.) I was expecting the governor to get his comeuppance at the end of Season 3, but I guess they really wanted to keep him around a bit longer as The Guy You Love to Hate. I suspect he will get his at some point this season.

      • Yeah I think he does. That’s why I was hoping for a real confrontation at that point but they’re totally stretching it out because a billion people watch the show.

  10. I want to know why Hershel (the VETERINARIAN, remember??!?) keeps piping up about every topic concerning the group EXCEPT poor, sick little Violet the Pig.

    (Also, did anyone else entertain the thought for a few seconds that Violet had been infected with some new animal zombie strain?)

  11. Goddammit dozens of zombie roombas staggering back and forth and back and forth on the roof for months and nobody ever stepped in one of the soft spots

    Goddammit as they drove up to the building somehow they didn’t see dozens of zombies staggering about up there

    Goddammit the zombies couldn’t see or smell the humans standing below them less than 20 feet away

    Goddammit the zombies could hear a bunch of bottles breaking through an industrial roof but couldn’t hear Darryl’s chopper brap brap brapping away as he drove up to the place

    Goddammit stupid nerd kid feeling deathly sick doesn’t ask anybody for help

    Goddammit season 4 here we go again

  12. Not to mention the military helicopter obviously had crashed into the roof, but it took some good old water damage before anything started falling through said roof.

  13. Oh, and the now empty shelf was heavy enough to keep him trapped? Oh wait, after a while Patrick lifts it all by himself.

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