“No. We don’t really exist. Right? Like, there is no way that we are human beings who are alive on this planet, just existing along with everyone else. Sharing a shower and shampoo — meaning, the SUDS FROM ONE HEAD PLACED UPON ANOTHER — is one (still unreasonable) thing, but sharing a toothbrush and mother fucking DENTAL FLOSS? No. Nope. Nah-uh. No, we don’t exist. Don’t mind us, haha! Put all thoughts of us out of your head, because we are a figment of your imagination. WooOoOOOOoo. Spooky, yeah? It’s like we’re ghosts, except the thing about ghosts is that — if we’re to pretend for a minute that ghosts do exist — they’re at least the energy left over from something that once walked this earth in human form. Us? We never did. We have never been alive and, in fact, aren’t even based on something that was once alive. We’re totally nonexistent. Share dental floss? One swipe of the same deodorant under each arm every morning? Share the same razor for armpits and face? Nooooooope! Nope, that’s not anybody. No. Nope. No. Please rest assured that no.” – NO ONE.


NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! TLC! FUCKING STOP IT! NO! (Thanks for the tip, kind of, R2D2, Esq.!)

Comments (48)
  1. I don’t buy this mainly because I never believe anybody who says they floss their teeth regularly.

  2. How is this more interesting or impressive than being homeless?

  3. I’ve got A LOT of questions about this shower routine. Mainly, does she even use conditioner? How unhealthy is her hair if she’s just using shampoo? Are they using a 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner? Is it ALWAYS 2 minutes? Does she ever shave her legs? Does she use the same razor that he shaves his face with to shave her legs? What about OTHER personal grooming (bikini area?)

  4. “Sure, go ahead and film us showering!”

  5. Didn’t, never gonna, watch the video, but I hope all toothbrush sharers get strep throat. The family that brushes together shares antibiotics together.

  6. But…sharing the toothbrush and razor just makes them go twice as fast…

    Also, do they realize how floss works? They’d be better off not flossing…

    • I felt that way about pretty much all of the things they did. Cheapskates just by off brands, make their own products, and extend the life of their shampoo by adding water. They don’t just get one thing and wear it out twice as fast by having two people use it. This show should have been called Extreme People Not Understanding How Things Work.

    • My mom and her boyfriend sometimes share floss and every time I see them do it I’m tempted to leave their house and just start walking straight out into the woods and never stop

  7. So my girlfriend’s young female cousin sent us an old lunchbox in the mail. It was badly wrapped with old newspapers to help with damage, which was already dirty and tacky to begin with, but there was also an used floss pick in the box. So, what did you guys have for breakfast?

    • Apple cinnamon instant oatmeal and vanilla cinnamon coffee with soymilk. You?

      • I had a banana this morning. I don’t usually eat anything for breakfast but we’ve been having to throw out a lot of bananas lately because they go bad before we eat them. Maybe I should watch that show, seems I need to learn a few things about not being wasteful with my money.

        • You can freeze them a bit and then squish ‘em until they resemble fro-yo.

          • My housemate bakes a lot, for many, many reasons. Sometimes me and the other housemate get a share of the goodies, sometimes not. When bananas go bad, she puts them in the freezer to eventually make banana bread with, and when she does this, the spoils are always shared. I may or may not sometimes let bananas go bad so that we get banana bread more often. The other housemate moved out and a new one moved in recently. She let some bananas go bad and was feeling guily about this and getting ready to throw them out before I explained to her how this banana into bread scheme works.

          • I can’t stand bananas (like Ron Swanson) except in smoothies and banana bread, so I like your roommate’s ideas and all these spillover rewards.

        • I say, when life gives you rotten bananas, make banana pancakes, with chocolate chips.

    • My grandmother once inexplicably sent my cousin a basket full of balls. That was it. Just balls. They were wrapped in fabric on the outside, and he was wondering what was inside, so he unwrapped one. It was used socks.

  8. how do they resist the hanky panky?

  9. I pray they use the payout from appearing on TLC to buy a lifetime’s supply of all grooming necessities.

  10. They remind me of that “Kissing Family” sketch on SNL.

  11. Haha I just thought about the ramen beard man joining their shower party and almost threw up

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