Video Home Systems Dot Com has cut together this highlight reel from a forgotten ’80s sex comedy called Computer Beach Party. Is this real life? AHHHHHHH.

Michael Bay’s robo-farts break box office records and this movie falls into the dustbin of history? I’m sorry, but I find it far more believable that the head of NASA can be found in the stacks of the local public library than everything about John Turturro’s character in the Transformers franchise. This movie just has heart! I wonder if that nerd ever gets the “beautiful” girl a glass of water! I wonder what happens to that mean man’s highly esteemed personal wealth! Keyboard in the glove compartment! Enhance! Enhance! Beach party!

According to VHS.blog, you can still buy used copies of this movie for $5 on Amazon. Which I guess is fine if you live in a cave! In 1996! You’re telling me that Hamburger America: a Film by George Motz is available on DVD, but I’ve got to build a time machine and (KILL HITLER, and then) go back to the Age of VHS to watch Computer Beach Party? Between this and the lack of a Chopping Mall DVD, I am beginning to think that there is a conspiracy against putting movies I want to enjoy semi-ironically on DVD! A conspiracy!

Hey look, the chicken car!

Comments (25)
  1. I am the Earl of Sandwich!

  2. at :33 it looks like your best friend snuck on camera to mouth the name of the movie for a goof. Except I’m sure that dudes the star and they did 20 takes of this to get it just right. Beach Partay!

  3. banjos are so 80′s.

  4. jac  |   Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 +13

    “lets get on down to nasa guy and find out about those gold coins”
    they could make a five movie series on this line and then four years after the last movie come out with a prequel and it still wouldn’t be enough

  5. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m starting to get the impression that you’d like to build a time machine and KILL HITLER.

  6. Bro – you can download this, that, or any obscure 80′s/90′s gem you can imagine here:

    http://cinemageddon.org/

    Check it out.

  7. So I actually have a copy of Chopping Mall (or Killbots, if you chose) on DVD. It’s legit too and not some shitty VHS transfer. Maybe you could come over and we could have a cheese-tastic viewing party. A double feature with Night of the Comet or Saturday the 14th, perhaps?

  8. Trevor  |   Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 +7

    Hey, I’m in the space business, too! That astronaut is right. And absolutely not a homeless man hoping to use the free bathroom.

  9. Oh god, is that my dad?

  10. Nina  |   Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 0

    Well! It’s no Bikini Island, that’s for sure!

  11. Megsmaw06  |   Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 +1

    OMG. I can remember seeing the video of Chopping Mall in my local shop as a kid. For some reason the image of the bag and the tag line of “Where shopping costs you an arm and a leg” have been stuck in my mind since then! I even tried to track it down a few years ago for old times sake, but didn’t get anywhere. Thanks! Now I can actually watch it…. Although it will probably be a huge let down like Childsplay was when I eventually saw it….

  12. “C’mon c’mon,
    It’s time to party,
    Hot Pockets,
    Beach Party!”

  13. Hey look, the Chicken Car!

  14. “And there you are, in the chariot… down, the beach… sand flying everywhere… YEAH!! YEAH!!!!” turned me on.

  15. This was the last project listed on imdb for Gary Troy (writer, director and editor of Computer Beach Party). A true swan song.

  16. That NASA guy is such a fake. Does the plot have something to do with how he broke out of prison and sewed space patches to his clothes? If not, it was my idea. I want royalties.

  17. I thought that comment from Niamh was the funniest thing I ever heardin my life. Sounds like she could be the love of my life. What’s even funnier is that I wrote and performed the music for Computer Beach Party I also was the guitar player in the beach party scenes

  18. I thought that comment from Niamh was the funniest thing I ever heardin my life. Sounds like she could be the love of my life. What’s even funnier is that I wrote and performed the music for Computer Beach Party I also was the guitar player in the beach party scenes

  19. I thought that comment from Niamh was the funniest thing I ever heardin my life. Sounds like she could be the love of my life. What’s even funnier is that I wrote and performed the music for Computer Beach Party I also was the guitar player in the beach party scenes

  20. I thought that comment from Niamh was the funniest thing I ever heardin my life. Sounds like she could be the love of my life. What’s even funnier is that I wrote and performed the music for Computer Beach Party I also was the guitar player in the beach party scenes

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