Can you believe that “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” took place in 1995? Kurt Cobain had only been gone from us for one year! (Now that I’ve been out of school for a while, rather than mark years as “grades” I find it’s useful to mark them as the number of years either before or after Kurt Cobain’s death.) From what I can remember, everyone was all about “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” back then. What a mystery! But wait — 1995 was also the year of the LAST GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN, UNDER BILL CLINTON! Oh my god. And now, just as another government shutdown rolls into action, the first in the 17 years since, we get ANOTHER Simpsons mystery? SOMEONE CALL RACHEL MADDOW, I LIKE HER AND I WANT TO SHARE THIS SCOOP WITH ONLY HER! From E!:

According to The Sun News, executive producer Al Jean is planning to kill off one star in the new season.
“I’ll give you a clue that the actor playing the character won an Emmy for playing that character, but I won’t say who it is,” Jean shared in a conference call about the show’s 25th season.

With more than 25 Primetime Emmy Awards under the show’s belt, that hint isn’t the most helpful.

But with some research, we found out Princess Penelope (Anne Hathaway), Sideshow Bob (Kelsey Grammer) and Marge’s mom Jacqueline (Julie Kavner) are just some of the award-winning characters that could be on the chopping block.

IS IT BART? The House Republicans are probably working super hard on solving this mystery, but that just means that we have to work even harder. Unluckily for them, forcing government workers to stay home without pay, while they are still getting paid, just pushed a good chunk of the workforce hardcore into the SIMPSONS MYSTERY SOLVING BUSINESS. And the rest of us who are at our jobs and on this blog can just work on the Simpsons mystery like we normally would! Who is it? Bart? I feel like it’s Bart!

Comments (59)
  1. How about them all? Is this show still on? I’m sorry but it’s been on since I was in High School and I’m 40 now. It’s time people.

  2. The could go all Game of Thrones on us an kill off Homer. I would at least respect the audacity.

  3. Santos L. Halper.

  4. If I were a betting man, I would say it’s one of Hank Azaria’s characters. So many of his characters are high risk for death (Moe, Comic Book Guy, Chief Wiggum), it’s just a safe bet.

  5. Can it be Al Jean?

  6. I think Professor Frink, Cletus, Superintendent Chalmers, or Ralph (however unpossible that may sound).

  7. I bet James Deen has some thoughts on this.

  8. The character of The Simpsons has been dead for over a decade now.

  9. I stuck with this show even after the awful years. The past couple of seasons have actually been pretty good, but yeah, it’s time to go. Last season’s X-mas special was supposed to be the series finale, and it’s actually one of the best episodes of the past 10 or so years, so I think this is it for me. Love you forever, Simpsons S1-Whateverlastonewas but I just can’t watch a Family Guy/Simpsons crossover. Fan love you.

  10. BTW my favorite SImpsons joke of all time is when they go to the movies in one episode and one of the movies on the marquee is “Shenanigoats.” The day Shenanigoats doesn’t make me laugh is the day I’ve finally died inside.

    • My fave joke of the Simpsons is one episode when Homere decides he’s going to be a ‘good dad’. He’s swinging Lisa on a tire swing that’s too high, dirty, and still has the wire in it (which makes me laugh every time I see it), the Bart says, “Your half assed under parenting is a lot better than your half assed over parenting”, to which Homer responds, very sadly “,but I’m using my whole ass…” Lolllll. I once loved the Simpsons.

  11. Even in seasons 13 – 20 (the supposed “worst era” of the show) there are some really good ones. Also some of the things they do with animation are still pretty mind blowing.

    On a related note, it has been confirmed that we’ll see a Simpsons/Futurama crossover sometime in the future. :)

    • I hope it’s as good as the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover, where Quagmire raped Marge. I also wish this was a joke.

      • ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
        gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross
        ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

    • Whoops! This was supposed to be a reply to ladyrainicorn.

  12. I gots a question- What would everyone say is the most recent “big” quote from the Simpsons? You know, one that everybody knows and quotes all the time. Do we have to go back to the 90′s for that? Or was there one in the early ’00′s that made it through the cultural threshold?

    • I’m still stuck on something being described as something else’s “non-union [country] equivalent”. But that’s the only one I’ve been able to use in real life; for the curious, I described Patuxai in Vientiene as the Arc de Triomphe’s non-union Laotian equivalent.

    • eh, can’t really think about any real big ones

      The rat symbolizes obviousness.
      Cause of parents’ death: got in my way.
      What happened to you, China? You used to be cool.
      Let’s just say that fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs.

      • #2 is in my top 20 fave Mr. Burns quotes.

        • lot of great Burns quotes, unlike some Simpsons characters he’s stayed pretty funny throughout even the more dire seasons

          “Wait, I’m shooting [b]at[/b] Nazis? That’s not how I remember it.”

          “So, the caterpiller has emerged from the cocoon. As a shark. With a gun for a mouth.”

          “This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.”

          “Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she’s losing?! Well I say, hard cheese.”

          • “woozle wuzzle.”

            To this day, if my husband and I are having a disagreement and one runs out of steam, or just obviously lost the argument, that person will say “woozle wuzzle”, and it’s pretty much done…lol.

  13. My best friend and I made a pact at the end of college that we would torture ourselves/stay friends by watching the entirety of the Simpsons together before we die, despite living in distant cities and having very different lives/hours.
    We’ve gotten through most of season 3. In seven years.
    Admittedly, the first few episodes were hard because we’ve seen them so many times/can recite them from memory/I kept falling asleep. But seriously, I need this show to go off the air because [Sisyphus reference].

    • VF, I thought of you yesterday while watching Sleepy Hollow because they went to a slightly-old-timey looking mental hospital and aloud I said, “IS IT KIRKBRIDE?” Inconclusive.

      • I did this, too! The building looked a little bit like my creepy gothic high school (I think it was brick), plus it’s hard to look at architecture with all those pretty faces onscreen, so we may never know.

        • From the outside it didn’t look like it stretched out enough, but the camera angle didn’t exactly help at all. But then inside it looked like hallways stretched for a while. More interior shots and more aerial exterior shots, plz, directors!!

  14. True Story: Someone I know at work recently got a greyhound and DIDN’T name it Santa’s Little Helper. I’ll leave you all to your collective sorrows.

  15. I’m guessing that it’s either gonna be Grandpa Simpson, his beardy friend or Mr. Burns dying from old age. I was gonna say Hans Moleman, but then I remembered he’s only in his 40s.

  16. They should resurrect him just to kill him again.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.