Everybody In The World Should Just Go Home To Their Mansions And Be Happy With The Life They Were Given. Why Waste Time In School When You Should Be Attempting To Distinguish Your Brand From That Of Your Father’s, While Still Maintaining A Connection Significant Enough To Remind Your Audience Of Why You Are Relevant? School Sucks And Homework Is For Losers And Nerds. I Am A Child. This Is What All Children Think, So It Is Not As Shitty Of An Idea For Me (A Child) To Express As It Might Seem At First. Though, I Am A Child With — For Whatever Reason — Influence Over Other Children, So I Absolutely Have More Responsibility. There Should Be An Adult Somewhere To Explain This To Me And Help Me Manage This Fact. There Is Definitely No Way I Understand The Negative Effect Dropping Out Of High School Can Have On The Adult Lives Of Children, Which Is Partly My Fault, But Mostly The Fault Of Those Who Failed To Raise Me With Any Perspective. You Also Should Consider The School That I Attended Up Until Recently. Do You Think That I Think That That Is How All School Is? Jesus, Can You Imagine How Warped My Perception Of The World Must Be? What A Fucking Nightmare. My Other Tweets Are Hilarious. Please Look At Them, After The Jump.

Aaaaaahahahaha! “I turned 15 long ago.” Incredible. Maybe Jaden Smith doesn’t need to go to school? It seems like he is a genius! He might not understand the business of stocking a book store, but luckily for Will Smith, he does not want to work in a book store. Perfect. A+. Should Jaden Smith TEACH school, maybe? Twitter Class? Can an OT VIII ask LRH’s thetan if Jaden could teach Twitter Class? (Via Celebitchy.)

Comments (75)
  1. It never dawned on me how capitalizing every word in a sentence could make reading such a brutal exercise. Until now.

  2. Children just don’t understand.

  3. I Initially Thought All The Subsequent Tweets Were Tweets That Kelly Made Up As A Goof On Jaden But I Slowly Realized That They Are Real And We Are All Doomed.

    • I’m going to try and be optimistic and think that all those favorites and retweets are just people making fun of him and not to show agreement. Because twitter is full of the best and brightest of the internet.

  4. OH MAN!!!! I can’t wait for more of the Smith family’s awkard teenage fake philosophical social media/blogging phase. Ahhh!!!!! Oh man, the only thing that could be better than this is when Jaden Smith finally meets the cute girl in the dorm at college (which he will definitely go to, come on now) who will play Jeff Buckley for him and then he will have all of his breakthroughs about his place in the world and how he intersects with other people! His poetry is going to be SO BAD! OH MY GOD!

    • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH no joke, though, I seriously can’t wait until Jaden and Willow publicly lapse from Scientology. It’s going to be so great! Jaden’s going to find all of Will’s old Dead Kennedys albums in the basement and have such an amazing enlightenment and we all get to watch it.

      Unluckily for Jaden, he won’t be able to just turn around and delete the whole thing from the internet, the way I was able to with my college livejournal.

    • I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
      whipping their hair back and forth

  5. I mean.

    My mom has three best friends that she went to high school with. They are all still very close, to this day.

    One of them never went to college and works for the government here and makes, like, $80K a year, I believe. The next one, started college, never finished, married a man who started his own business and then sold it when they turned 40 and are now multi-millionaires. Another, did go to college and got a bachelor’s degree. She’s a pharmaceutical rep and makes around $90K.

    My mother got a bachelor’s degree in Education and then got her Masters degree from Baylor. Then she got a special education endorsement from UNM. Worked for years as an educator in public schools. Later, when I went to college, she got her administrative license to become an administrator. She makes $60K a year. And after my parents got divorced (around the same time) she had to move in with her mother, where she still lives.

    Also, my degree has been, essentially, useless.

    All this tl:dr rant to say: Jaden is an entitled, incorrect child. But DOES IT MATTER? (It does. ) BUT DOES IT? (Yes, Bria, you’re just bitter.)

    • Not to get into that whole thing, but he said “school.” Not “college.” There’s a biiiig difference between a high school diploma and no high school diploma.

      • Well, sure. Again, mostly being glib, the kid is fucking wrong. But I also have been feeling lately like I wasted 4 years and like $25,000 to make $12.75 in a desk job that I hate. Again, just ranting.

        • I just, officially, hate capitalism apparently? And also want to know why public teachers aren’t paid more. No, I don’t want to know WHY. I want to burn buildings down and demand it.

    • part of your logic is that all your mom’s friends went to and graduated from high school. I think this Jaden kid is suggesting that people should drop out before that. Also, is salary really the best judgement of success?

      Maybe he was trying to comment on the atrocious state of public education in American today, but really I think he was just being a moron.

      • Uuuuhhhh it is when my mother is forced to live with her own mother? And, um, yeah in American society, it is?

        Again, I KNOW he’s talking about HS. Just sparking conversation.

        • I think salary is basic for necessary survival, but I also think that in many respects being a millionaire isn’t always success. I know plenty of teachers, nurses, etc that make almost nothing but consider their lives “successful” in a sense.

          ps- my mom left a very well-paying job to start her own consulting firm. I grew up with her sometimes scraping by to make ends meet, but I think if you asked her if she made a bad decision she’d say no way. She hated her high-paying job and was miserable, even in months when times are rough she never considers going back.

          • Yeah, see… and my mom, who works her ass off as a principal (which, essentially I have learned is basically being a counselor/security guard/enforcer) and also works part-time at Pier 1 would, I think, rather make more money, at this point.

            Which, my mother is an incredible, amazing person, so I don’t know what that says about her. I just hate seeing her work her ass off and struggle to get by. I dunno.

          • I should say I am not completely disagreeing with you. It sucks that your mom has to work her ass off, as does my mom (adjunct at 2 colleges, because no one even wants to hire part-time, plus consulting). I just think that teaching success based on money alone seems a bit counter-intuitive to overall happiness. I know my job will never pay millions, I just hope to be comfortable. It’s mazlow’s pyramid, once you get past the food/shelter/clothing level of survival, there are other things to strive for. I agree that you need a salary and a certain amount of money to get beyond that first level, but after that it seems moot.

            ugh, I might not be making any sense. more coffee for me.

          • No no, you are. I think we’re on the same page, at this point. I always used to say (and still would agree) that I would rather have a job that makes me happy than one that makes me rich.

            My problem is I haven’t found one that has done either.

            I should also point out that I am trying to pay for a wedding at the moment and HOLY SHIT IS THIS BULLSHIT RIDICULOUS so I ‘m ranty on a whole other level of rantiness. I agree with you. I just wish the middle class was a more stable position nowadays (which as an entire other issue entirely.)

    • College is only important because people think it’s important. As a general rule, if a job requires a degree but does not specify an area of study, then it should not be a requirement. But I got a degree anyway, because all my bitching and moaning isn’t going to change a broken system, and going against it would only be hurting myself.

      • I only went to college so I could have an excuse to watch football on Saturdays for the rest of my life

      • I just was never even really given an option? It was… you’re going to college, period. Then at 18 I’m supposed to know that an English degree is a salary death sentence? That I maybe should have gotten over the fact that I wasn’t very good at math, nor did I enjoy it at all, and tried to go for the engineering degree?

        • I joined the military first, which I would honestly recommend for most people. It gives you time to grow up, figure some shit out, and get some work experience. No way I would have made it through college at 18.

          • God, I would be terrible in the military. Guns freak me out. I don’t do well with people yelling in my face and me not yelling back. But, sure, it’s probably a good call for most of the youthed population. I figured my shit out by getting blackout drunk a lot while on antidepressants, which I would not recommend, to anyone.

      • The universe decided to make a bachelor’s degree requirement for a job into a masters degree requirement for the same job and SpecialK slowly wept.

      • In this country, a college degree demonstrates that you’re not a dummy, because, unfortunately, a high school diploma no longer indicates that. I’m not sure what the solution is, because making it harder to graduate high school is going to screw over a lot of people who are already struggling.

    • How much money people make is 100% related to the profession they pursue, not where they to to school.

      A banker who went to a state school will always out-earn a kindergarten teacher who went to Harvard.

      Similarly, a pharma rep without a degree will still out-earn a public school teacher pretty much every damn time.

      It’s all about how much society values your profession. For instance, I work in the journalism field and am consequently a trillionaire.

  6. I am so, so, so, so, so, SO glad social media only barely existed when I was a teenager.

    • Also who is this “Mateo” character

    • I am so so so glad that I had the ability to completely delete livejournal. ho boy, 14 year-old neverabadidea is not the best representation of neverabadidea.

      • Just a few days ago, I realized I’d forgotten to delete my old Journalfen account. I read through it before I deleted it and oh my god, I nearly cringed to death. And that was from when I was 19-20!

        • part of me wishes I could save everything out as a word doc, because I kind of want all the entries, just not on the internet where others can see.

          • There was a service for a time that would take all your livejournal entries and export them as a .pdf, which you could then turn into a book. I thought about it briefly because lj is where Husbandglue and I did a lot of initial courtship, but I erred on the side of YIKES and just deleted it mostly out of a sense of panicked embarrassment.

        • This reminds me I have to delete mine.

      • Alwaysabadidea: Reflections on Livejournaling as a Young Person
        -neverabadidea

    • Seriously. I watched this documentary last night called “Sexy Baby” and one of the subjects was a 13-year old girl and it is scary the stuff that she was exposed to and aware of. If I have kids, I hope there is some sort of Revolution-type scenario so I don’t have to worry about actually parenting them. Technology is scary.

    • I would have been an insufferable Bible thumper on Twitter. Oh how life changes us.

      • “Older people don’t usually mean to be condescending, it’s just that you reach a certain age and want to claw your face off in embarrassment when you realize how stupid you used to be” is something I’ve told my younger relatives many times.

  7. Just another brick in the wall, I suppose.

  8. I kind of want to tweet back at him about the radical changes and imminent death of the publishing industry and bookstores but I won’t.

  9. Well, he spelled “does” wrong in his bookstore tweet, so I guess he shouldn’t drop out yet.

  10. “School Is The Tool To Brainwash The Youth.” is the name of my punk rock band’s new album, featuring lead single “I Turned 15 Long Ago”

  11. I think he stole that last tweet from Twilight.

  12. Does anyone else think he looks like Yoko Ono in his picture?

  13. I Look Around The Book Store. Everything Is The Same Book. Every Shelf Filled With That One Book. I Uttered, “Every One Is Reading Every Thing And Nothing.” Then I Wake Up From Terrifying Vision Of World Created By Schools Where No One Drops Out. Wake Up Too People.

  14. To be fair, Jaden(‘s thetan) probably turned fifteen eons ago (according to science).

  15. If this guy had been forced to take standardized tests he would have learned to be wary of statements featuring absolutes like “everybody.”

  16. How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) May 2, 2013

    Jaden Smith seems fun (and high)

  17. If everyone on the planet dropped out of high school at the exact same time, the force of it would be so great that the planet would tip over.

  18. hey everyone quit your jobs – what is money anyway? I mean like wow.

  19. Obviously Jaden capitalizes every word so we more easily start twitter movements off of his genius perspectives.

    #IEITWDOOSWWHAMMIS

    #SITTTBTY

  20. 1) I want to be as rich as the Smiths so I can stay in my mansion all day and sleep and cause trouble to nobody and

    2) Jaden is the boy Smith? I get confused with their slightly-eponymous, opposite-gendered names.

  21. Well, Jesse Pinkman dropped out of school, and look at him now!

  22. This kid is dropping oooof bombs!

  23. #fuckhomework

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