“Please don’t give me a standing ovation. I appreciate your support, your forgiveness, and the opportunity to return to my job, but the fact is that giving me a 10-minute standing ovation simply because I returned to cooking after being outed for a ton of awful, racist shit, like the Dora Charles story if maybe you don’t remember, and also the slavery-themed wedding (do you remember that?), makes you guys look like AH-HUUUUUGE racists. Right? Like, applauding me for being so brave as to show my racist face in public (for people who paid up to $400 to see it)? Do you see what it looks like that says about you? It’s as if you’re standing with me as racists, or at the very least as people who do not think racism is that bad. Okay? I think you get it. Anyway, cooking!” she didn’t say. From People:

The Southern chef, 66, broke down in tears after receiving thunderous applause during a 10-minute standing ovation at the Metro Cooking & Entertaining show in Houston on Saturday.

“These are tears of joy, y’all,” she said. “This is my first time out in three months. … The one place I wanted to make my first step out was in Texas. You are forgiving folks with hearts as big as your state.”

“We all experience pain in some way but pain is also a good thing because it makes you grow,” Deen added before joining sons Bobby and Jamie for a cooking demo.

After her emotional outburst on Saturday, Deen quickly got back in touch with her sassy side. Near the end of her demo, she walked up to a cameraman, put her face up close to his camera and said with a giant smile, “I’m back!”

“We all experience pain in some way,” she said, reminding everyone of why she should not ever be allowed to talk without a carefully written script with tone warnings in the margins. Ugh. She’s back, baby. You thought she might have been forced to just enjoy her tremendous wealth quietly, but she’s back. [Applause] [Collapse]

Comments (51)
  1. One word: Texas.

    • Yeah, I think she meant to say “The one place I wanted to make my first step out was in Texas. Most of you were never mad at me in the first place.”

      • Oh I wish she picked a different venue.

      • I was about to go on this long diatribe defending Texans that I know (I went to Texas Tech) but then I realized I was really just defending my taste in human beings, so.

        I just… don’t love when people are judged by the perception of their entire state. Especially one as big as Texas. I mean, you don’t see me over here, as a New Mexican starting up a meth lab, do you?

        Except for last week, when I totally did that… KIDDING!

        Nope. Actually did that.

        • No you’re right, there are plenty of fine people in Texas! I don’t mean generalize about Texans too much but I do think it’s true that there is a higher concentration of people there who think the same way Paula Deen thinks.

        • Also, Beyonce is from Texas. #NEVERFORGET

        • I grew up in South Carolina, went to college in Tennessee, and then moved to Austin. I was generally surrounded by terrible asshole racist bigots for most of my life until I got to Texas. But…I don’t know if you can really lump Austin in with the rest of the state. We’re like a progressive hipster oasis.

          • Much like Tucson, AZ, Austin is a blue oasis in a sea of red.

          • Congrats! Only took until the 10th reply for someone to mention Austin!
            Who had ’10′ in the pool? I guessed 6 :(

            Don’t get me wrong, I get it. Austin is so weird! But as someone who grew up in (a different big city in) Texas and who now lives in (a big city in) Georgia, there are lots of big cities that are generally much cooler than the rest of a red state, and I just get tired of hearing about Austin all the time as though it’s the only one.

          • I also maintain (particularly in the wake of gay marriage being “legalized”) that New Mexico is the safe haven of the Southwest.

            I say “legalized” because, basically, because our constitution doesn’t define marriage in terms of gender and because we have a very strict discrimination law concerning homosexual and transgendered people, a judge LITERALLY just went, “Uh, yeah, technically this is already legal? Start giving out the licenses.” And that was that.

          • Ugh, I just reread this and there’s no way I don’t sound like an asshole.
            I’m sorry I am being an asshole here. It’s meant to be cheeky and cute, not assholey and I’m sorry.

    • I live in Houston, have lived here since 2001. When I hear things like this, I want to say- we’ve got the only openly gay mayor in the country! The most diverse city in the country! A vibrant progressive blogging community! A Pride parade that attracts dozens of major corporations, politicians, and government agencies, to the extent that it just looks like broad cross-section of boring regular people, with beads!

      But then, this is part of Houston, too- a crowd full of assholes, moved to tears, bravely standing up to anti-racism on behalf of a downtrodden white millionaire. I remember going to a Larry the Cable Guy concert in Houston in 2003 (forgive me, I had never heard of the guy and got the tickets for free) and was horrified at the crowd of assholes SCREAMING their approval of his jokes against Muslims, gays, the fact that our mayor was black, etc. I’ll never forget the woman behind me screaming “THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” to someone who finally had the BALLS to point out how awful it was that some people working in airport security were apparently Muslim. (It still shocks me that Larry the Cable Guy has gone so mainstream, given how incredibly offensive his old routines were. I mean, the guy made radio skits about an Asian dry cleaner called “The Gooks of Hazzard.”)

      There is a sizable portion of the white population who passionately seem to believe that the only injustices associated with race in the modern world are inflicted on white people unfairly (or even fairly) accused of racism.

      But it’s not all of us white people, or all of Texans, or all of us Houstonians. We contain multitudes, I promise.

  2. She should just start playing professional football. The fans are VERY forgiving, and defensive if you try to bring up past transgressions. Michael Vick knows what I’m talking about.

    • Fuck that dude, but man… I should have started him apparently.

    • Or Donte Stallworth, Leonard Little, Ray Lewis….

    • Man, at least Vick went to jail. And works for the SPCA now. And apologized a million times. And lost all his money. So, you know.

      • Yeah, don’t get me started on Roethelsberger (not gonna bother spellchecking that piece of shit’s name…). That he’s still playing football and NO ONE brings up the fact that he is (allegedly) a multiple rapist is probably the biggest travesty in sports today.

        • Seriously! I understand bringing sports figures up in a discussion like this because there are MANY who have done (or “allegedly” done) some very very fucked up stuff, but I don’t really understand villifying Vick more than the others since he’s basically the only one who has served justice for his transgressions. So I have some opinions, apparently.

          • It’s because killing puppies is worse than just about anything.

          • Nah I’m with you on this. And I have a huge soft spot for dogs. But shit, the guy got his comeuppance about ten times over compared to some of the awful things other football players have done and gotten away with because of how football is idolized and overblown in America to the point that it’s kind of gross in some cases (exhibit A: Ben Roethelisberger).

          • Yeah, I also love dogs very much but I do get the sense that Vick paid a price (whether it was enough or not, who knows) and that now he understands why/that what he did was wrong.

        • I bring it up all the time, actually.
          “Try not to sexually assault anyone in that huddle” is something I say pretty much any time the Steelers are on.
          But I know what you mean.

    • Or she could go into show business…Matthew Broderick, Lane Garrison, Rebbeca Gayheart…

  3. It’s a pretty good day for racism, what with this and all those Twitter reactions from people who thought it was an outrage that the new Miss America is of Indian descent, especially this close to 9/11. #neverforget

  4. But what did she cook???!?

  5. That one-way trip to Mars is sounding better all the time.

  6. Ugh, don’t call it a comeback. You’ve been gone for 3 months. Hiding your face and judging people by race. Making the tears rain down like a monsoon. Listen to the racists go “WOOOOOOO.”

  7. At first I was fine with this, because certainly some people out there are just fans of fat-and-cholesterol-intensive food, and you ARE allowed to forgive famous people for saying and doing shitty things, at least to a certain extent.

    BUT in the clip I saw, some woman was holding up a sign that read “Paula for President” and I was, like, WHAT?!? This person thinks this pathetic, bawling train-wreck of a woman is fucking presidential? How stupid and awful do you have to be to think that?

    Soooo, racists suck.

  8. Really wish she would call up that number, wait for a red minivan to pull up, and have her disappear from all of our lives forever. #topical.

  9. My outrage is like twinkie—never expiring. #FlawlessFoodJokes

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