Batman and someone sitting in a tree, WHO – IS – IT – GO – ING – TO – BE?! (Perfect.) Latino Review recently got a hold of the casting breakdown for Batman’s love interest in the upcoming Batman Vs. Superman, and here it is, via /Film:

They’re looking for someone in their late 20s and are open to all ethnicities. They’re being very specific and looking for an actress who is both tall and possesses physicality.

Uh, wait. I thought Superman was going to be Batman’s love interest in Batman Vs. Superman?! Oh boy. Superman is going to be so upset when he sees this casting breakdown. Especially when what he was expecting was: “Someone with an age that (according to Wikipedia) varies between 29 and 35, hair like Superman, white (non-negotiable), strong, wears Superman suit, same height as Superman, loves Batman, just wants to see Batman happy.” This is going to make filming ah-little awkward! But now that we know the rules, who should play Ben Batman’s love interest? (Remember that they have to be in their late 20s.) (Batman doesn’t like OLDS.)

MANDY MOORE?

AUDRINA PATRIDGE?

THIS CUTE BIRD?

MIRANDA KERR?

SNEAKER WEDGES?

ANNIE CLARK AKA ST. VINCENT?

MINI CAT COUCH?

HOW ABOUT MINI DOG COUCH?

Uggghh, I just don’t know! What do you think? Obviously there are a lot of great choices that I didn’t even mention like Highlighting Blush, Fall Wardrobe, Candy Bar, Mila Kunis In High Heels, Full-Length Mirror, etc. Who is your next top Batman’s love interest? Should it just be Beyonce?

Comments (47)
  1. amy adams? then that can be the reason they fight? ugh no matter how many bryan cranstons you put in there this movie is probably going to be stupid…

  2. How about Rachel Rachel RACHEL RACHEL RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-CHEL McAdams?

    • She’s THIRTY-FOUR years old, FLW, come on. You can’t expect (41-year-old) Ben Affleck to pretend to be attracted to such a decrepit crone.

      • I barf all over the 41-year-old man needs to be paired with a late 20s woman. BARF BARF BARF!

        • I was actually pretty pleased at how “old” the lady’s age has to be. After you have nine-year-old Keira Knightley getting married in Love Actually, there’s no place to go but up, huh?

  3. Imaging Ben Affleck recreating the sex scene from Watchmen with a pair of sneaker wedges brb

  4. Both tall AND possesses physicality? How will they ever find such a perfect specimen??

  5. Batwoman? Too obvious?

  6. “Possesses physicality.” I guess ghosts are out unless they can finagle an alternate meaning out of “possesses” with the casting directors.

  7. C’mon, sloth in a onesie.

  8. OBVIOUSLY the best choice is Jennifer Lawrence. My work here is done.

  9. Everyone wins. We get to play out the homoerotic tension of Batman and Robin while removing all the pedophillic content, we get to have two best friends play together without the lack of age difference make the sidekick thing weird, and we get to increase the already high parodic content of this movie.

  10. I will never see this film, so yes to the puffin please! (time to bring out my favourite fact AGAIN: a baby puffin is called a puffling!)

  11. Maybe a little on the nose, but what about famed American-Iranian chef Najmieh BATMANglij?

  12. At this point why bother preserving any dignity for the Franchise? Reality Competition! America’s Next Top Batman’s Too Young For Him Sweetheart!

  13. My vote is for Three Kittens Falling Asleep at the Same Time.

  14. Must be tall AND possess physicality AND open to all ethnicities? If they don’t cast Queen Latifah, they are full of shit.

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