Uh, Tom Hiddleston, here’s an idea: why don’t you just eat your god damn cookie rather that wave it around Cookie Monster’s face like some big, handsome, teasing, perfect-voiced jerk? Looks like you’re not delaying any of the gratification you’re getting out of delaying Cookie Monster’s gratification. Typical. “Ultimately, yes”? What does that shit even mean? Ugh, Tom Hiddleston. So handsome– I MEAN RUDE. (Via HitFix.)

Comments (49)
  1. I can’t be haunted by the ghost of the cookie any longer…the cookie and I are at peace.

  2. Better abstinence parable than Twilight.

  3. Tom Hiddleston can deny me a cookie any day of the week.

    (gross, sorry)

  4. Now I want a cookie and because I am an adult who makes his own decisions I shall have a cookie. But the blame is entirely on you, Kelly, for making me eat a cookie or five before 10am.

    • Or a whole bag of Famous Amos Cookies, but who’s counting. Kelly can you post something about cheesecake tomorrow morning? I could go for some cheesecake for breakfast.

  5. Another wonderfully low key performance from Hiddleston.

  6. I keep reaching at my computer screen, but my hands are unable to cradle Tom Hiddleston’s face. Self control is overrated.

  7. They should do this with pot brownies.

  8. I hate to break it to you but Cookie Monster doesn’t even eat those cookies. They just break into pieces and fall out of his mouth! Wasted cookies!!!!

  9. I was afraid this was going to turn into some kind of tortured abstinence metaphor, like the time in health class when these ladies came to talk to us and gave out candy to everybody and then kept giving more and more candy to the only person in the class who didn’t immediately eat the first candy because “It’s sweeter when you wait.”

    • Oh my! That sounds awful!

    • …So the message was, “wait a little while longer and then you’ll get to bang a whole BUNCH of people!”

    • It gets older when you wait and eventually is no longer safe to consume. Candy that is.

    • This really worries me because I just thought, well, there is a good chance that I wold try to steal the candy anyway, and then I realized, oh god I’m a candy rapist and I don’t know what to think about that. Here is a picture of Thorgi to entertain you while I have my crisis

      • It was also pretty cool in that they basically told a bunch of 16-year-olds that they were sluts.

        • Whenever I hear other people’s horror stories about sex ed in high school, I’m even more amazed that my tiny, rural school actually did things like teach us about consent and abusive relationships and how to use condoms (and they even made the boys stay and watch the birthing video! Equal opportunity scarring for life!) It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was abnormally good for the time and place, and I don’t know why.

          • Agreed! I went to an all-girls Catholic high school and I have no sex-ed horror stories at all! The opposite! In health class our teacher let us ask anonymous questions and some girl asked why semen tasted salty, and the teacher didn’t admonish her and instead answered her respectfully, even though the rest of us laughed. (We also got taught evolution, which one of my friends who went to my rival all-girls Catholis school did not!)
            However, our mascot was a marlin, so I guess you win some you lose some.

          • I was raised Catholic and yeah, it’s surprising how liberal a lot of the messages I got growing up were. My mom actually used to be a nun (she decided to leave before taking final orders because she wanted to have a family) and she says the same thing–I think it might be due to the nuns, actually, at least in part. They’re a pretty practical bunch overall.

          • LADYRAINICORN! We are one and the same! My mom was in the convent school and one day she was praying and she says God spoke to her and said, “Future Flanny’s Mom, don’t be a nun.” My mom was like, “What? Okay!” So she left and became a teacher!

          • I went to an all-girls Catholic school and we only learned about sex and pregnancy, not how to have column A while avoiding column B.

          • Ah flanny! I’ve never met anyone else whose mom was a nun! I always tell her that the reason she left is because the universe knew I needed to be born, and she says “Sure, honey. Plus, they wouldn’t let me smoke in the convent.”

          • Nun Mom Babies Unite!!!
            I think if it wasn’t for God talking to her, my mom would have stayed a nun. My dad died when I was little and my mom has gotten increasingly more religious as I’ve gotten older, so sometimes my sister and I talk about how she should just go be a nun again.

          • I went to a tiny rural high school and I have to say it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t traumatizing. I remember my 8th grade bio teacher specifically not teaching reproduction but mentioning that you could read the table of contents for Chapter 8 and decide if you’d feel comfortable reading it :/

            We were forced to take Health in 7th and 11th grade. Seventh had some pretty groovy safe sex cartoons about Herpes and the teacher, whose father seemed to have every disease we talked about at some point, told us about his dad’s Navy times *ahem*, 11th was very abstinence heavy and there was a poster of a girl’s closed legs saying it was the only real way to prevent pregnancy, but class was so rowdy he mostly skipped sex ed. We had already basically ruined the poor guy’s don’t ever drink or do drugs because you will die unit, I think he gave up.

      • I would fail any abstinence test involving waiting to pet a corgi.

    • In NC, it was all abstinence only, so the health ladies were like “who has the BEST sex?” and apparently the answer was supposed to be “people in married, monogamous relationships” (no one got it right). It was especially fun when the teacher jumped in to comment that there were 19 girls currently known to be pregnant at the school at the time. Then it was basically the scene from Mean Girls that if you have sex, you will get pregnant/diseases and die. Fun times!

  10. Tom Hiddleston once thanked Liam Payne’s dog in an acceptance speech so he is by far my favorite Avenger(?)

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