The Internet is full of lies and half-truths and guesses. We know that. We’ve all mourned the loss of Steve from Blues Clues enough times by now that we get that the Internet’s fact-checkers are not particularly strict. So take this with a grain of salt, for sure, but Radar Online is reporting (from a “well-placed Hollywood film insider”) that Jack Nicholson has retired from acting. Ah!  From Radar:

He’ll still sit court side at Los Angeles Lakers’ games, but Hollywood legend Jack Nicholson has quietly retired from the movie business, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned. The 76-year-old icon has no plans to appear in films again after a career spanning five decades.

“Jack has — without fanfare — retired,” a well-placed Hollywood film insider confirmed to Radar.

“There is a simple reason behind his decision — it’s memory loss. Quite frankly, at 76, Jack has memory issues and can no longer remember the lines being asked of him.

Aw. If this is true it would be sad, but also — and I think this is obvious to anyone, I’m just saying because currently I’m the one speaking — it would make sense! We all get old and sometimes, in our advanced ages, we don’t want to or can’t do our jobs any longer, even if those jobs are jobs that people liked when we were in The Shining specifically, actually some of us watched just last night, because it is one of our favorite movies. Right? It’s okay. As long as old movies don’t disappear whenever an actor retires, which I don’t THINK they do, but it’s hard to say anything for sure, we’ll all be fine. The well-placed Hollywood film insider also made sure to note that “Jack has no intention of retiring from the limelight,” so we’ll also always have Jack Nicholson at Lakers’ games. C’est la vie.

Comments (14)
  1. Maybe he’ll forget he retired. Ta da. Jack’s back.

  2. Do I smell a minor-league baseball career in his future???

  3. BNPG: Jack Nicholson retirement movies

    Easy Chair Rider

  4. Maybe this is how Breaking Bad will end?

  5. But what if he forgets that he likes the Lakers!?!

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