Grab your tinfoil hats! Grab your coffee, I know it’s early and you possibly haven’t finished your first cup yet, so we definitely don’t want to start off on a bad foot, but if it’s only a bit and you could drink it quickly without bringing it that would be helpful! Grab your New Yorker! Grab your trail mix and your unsalted mixed nuts! Grab your favorite outfit — the one you always look good in no matter how you feel otherwise! Grab any kind of special soap you need for your skin and GTFO BECAUSE ALIENS ARE MAKING NOISES IN THE SKY!!!!!!

Listen, these noises (heard in Terrace, British Columbia) are basically the same kind of noises that were in those viral marketing videos for the movie Red State or whatever that were floating around a few years ago, but if you were an alien wouldn’t you model your scary noises after a Kevin Smith movie that nobody saw so humans would disregard them until you were ready to strike? Uh, yeah!! Yeah, I think so!!!! LOOK: from the Huffington Post:

One day in January 2012, in the small town of North Battleford, Saskatchewan, which is 1,000 miles east of Terrace, a local radio station got around 40 calls from residents asking about strange sounds in the sky. In the far-flung community of Conklin, Alberta, which is over 300 miles from North Battleford and over 1,000 miles from Terrace, a creepy video filmed in the forest purports to show a similar phenomenon. (“It sounds like the planet is screaming in pain,” one commenter wrote.) A few days after the video in Conklin appeared, a video filmed in the town of The Pas, Manitoba — a 13-hour drive southeast – shows more or less the same thing.

SPOOKY NOISES BE EVERYWHERE’N! Don’t believe me?! DON’T BELIEVE ME?! Roll the video!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Kimberly Wookey, who uploaded the video to YouTube, said she was awoken by these sounds back in June, as well. KIMBERLY! For those are you who are too spooked, the Huffington Post offers a possible explanation:

But just because some of these videos were a ruse doesn’t mean others aren’t real. [Ed. Note: LOL] Many were uploaded in different places around the same time (most from the early months of 2012), lending credence to their claims. So far, perhaps the best explanation we’ve heard came from University of Saskatchewan physics professor Jean Pierre St. Maurice, who said the noises may be from electromagnetic waves emitted from aurora, natural light displays in the sky at high latitudes.

But tipster Lizz says: “I’ve seen the Northern Lights a few times and they *did* make a sound that woke up my dog, which is how I got outside to see/hear them. But it didn’t sound like this — not at all.” NOT AT ALL! GUYS! WHAT! ARE! THESE! NOISES! More viral videos for Red State 2?! Legit aliens?! The Earth dying?!

While we might not know for quite some time the true origin of these sky noises, one thing we know for sure is that we are all doomed. Rest in peace, earthlings. We had our chance.

Comments (25)
  1. In space, no one can hear you scream. Also, the music is terrible.

  2. I think that’s just the sound Kimberly Wookey makes when she talks. This guy knows what I’m talking about:

  3. I told Chewbacca to opt for button-fly, but he obviously didn’t listen.

  4. One possibility:

  5. Aw man, the last time there was a post about this I fell into the rabbit hole of looking at creepy websites about it and then that night I was woken up by alarming sounds coming from the pipes in my apartment and I was sure the aliens had come to get me. But they didn’t! Bring it on, aliens!

    • Last night I woke up and heard odd rain-like noises and felt a breeze on my face and I’m not certain it wasn’t a ghost.

      • Last night I dreamed Sharon Osbourne was in a cafe talking to me about anti-ageing and I really valued her input (that’s how I know it was a dream)

    • I’m ALWAYS terrifying myself by reading scary “true” stories online–while I’m reading them, during the day, I think they’re really interesting and fun and obviously don’t believe any of it, but then at night I huddle in my bed like a little ball of terror.

      • In college during one of my morning classes, someone passed around pictures of Jack the Ripper’s victims, and I was like, “Spooky!” And then I went about my day and had largely forgotten about them until I was alone in my dark room at night, and when I closed my eyes all their terrifying gore flashed onto my eyelids. There is not enough daylight for me to look at scary things.

      • Have you perused wikipedia’s “list of mysterious deaths?” because it is an unending source of huddling in a ball of terror for me

  6. Well, it certainly was fun commenting on this blog with you all.

  7. With this strange phenomenon, we searched for the best of the best for their analysis; physics professor, Jean Pierre St. Maurice and commenter, YouTube.

  8. It was probably just Tina.

  9. btrbflo  |   Posted on Sep 4th, 2013 +4

    I think it’s cool they figured out a way to promote Colin Stetson’s New History Warfare Vol. 3: To See More Light Polaris Prize candidacy.

  10. Silly Canadians. It’s just the ghost of Rick Moranis’ career.

  11. It’s the reptoid Illuminati rejoicing in young George Windsor’s induction into the group with HAARP-related chemtrails. DUH. Read between the lines, sheeple.

  12. Someone’s just listening to The Knife really loud.

  13. “So the seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.” Revelations 8:6
    Someone re-arranging furniture on a long sumberged UFO and being a real dick about it.

  14. You can hear the Norther Lights here:

    SPOILER: it sounds like a bull whip

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