Michael Bay posted this perfect photo recently on MichaelBay.com. I know you might be thinking, “Uh, why do we need to caption this perfect photo of Michael Bay and the cast and crew of Transformers 4 when it is obvious that the cast and crew are all thinking, ‘God, I wish I were Michael Bay!’ and that Michael Bay is thinking, ‘Damn, it’s good to be Michael Bay’?” UH, BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE ALIEN PYRAMID IS THINKING, DUH! Hellooooo. What is it thinking?!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball and nothing else because you’ve already gotten your reward in this photo. (Image /Film.)

Comments (48)
  1. Michael Bay is seen here accepting the Douchebag of the Year Award.

  2. During Transformers health class the gang is shown slides demonstrating why you should always wear a condom.

  3. “I don’t know. It’s not quite phallic enough.”

  4. “Who’s overcompensating NOW, huh? …Wait.”

  5. 2nd Assistant B-Camera Casey “Walrus” Howard finally gets the recognition he deserves.

  6. We need to be more direct with Michael Bay to get him to stop making movies, because as you see in this picture, he’s clearly missing the point.

  7. shit just got real transformer-y

  8. A pyramid covered with annoying douchebags? I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere before…

  9. Which douchebag is Michael Bay?

  10. Pictured (from left to right): Some Asshole, Mark Wahlberg, A Bunch of Assholes, The Antichrist, Another Asshole

  11. I thought it was gonna be called Trans4mers.

  12. Where are all the robots?

  13. It legitimately worries me that Michael Bay is a consistent cultural figure. I mean, he’s obviously putting everyone on, he obviously has tremendous technical chops… what’s the deal? It’s just painful to know that he’ll be studied in film school for decades to come. He either loves or hates cinema and it’s impossible to tell which. Is he approaching his work with any sense of irony? Does he look at this pic as “Everyone considers my work to be one giant unaware phallic symbol”? He’s like if Von Trier and Spielberg had a kid and that kid was so boring that, not only would you not show up to his bar mitzvah, you’d send a check and a five-page, handwritten letter explaining why. He’s beyond self-parody. He’s ventured into broad sadism.

    On paper, he’s one of the most interesting filmmakers in decades. On screen, he’s so boring that I wish a muscled, racist robot would crush me in my seat while the camera spins around me with American flags flapping like limp dicks in the background.

  14. Seven white men on a movie set.

  15. Transformers 4: Transformers vs. Alien vs. Predator

  16. “Shut up, Mark. I am not Megatron’s buttplug. I’m an allusion to the work of Arnaldo Pomodoro. Michael told me so himself.”

  17. I really liked Armageddon. He should make another one of those movies. No one cares about Transformers… Let alone Transformers 4. Maybe he ran out of ideas?

  18. I like the people pretending to do stuff

  19. The camera guy beside him clearly misunderstood Bay’s direction to “get a shot of a dick.” Luckily Bay’s pose was captured by a second cameraman.

  20. Introducing for Transformers 4: the Nefarious Douchebots!

  21. Michael Bay’s clothes are all hand-me-downs from James Cameron.

  22. “More Nutella.” – the Pyramid.

  23. “My role will surpass that of the black monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the asteroid in Armageddon, the rolling boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the…Michael Bay? Did you say Michael Bay? I’m getting blown up, aren’t I? Damn it.”

  24. Where’s the Rock?

  25. “Can we get another white dude with sunglasses up here to make a duckface? No? You’re fired.”

  26. “If I had been in the first Transformers movie, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of furrowed eyebrows and wooden acting and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to end this thing quietly and there’s not going to be a sequel, don’t worry.” -Mark Wahlberg

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