yearone.jpg

Did you see Year One, the Biblical-times movie starring Jack Black and Michael Cera, this weekend? If so, this is the place to talk about it. Especially because I don’t know how it ends because I walked out of the theater after about 45 minutes! And guess who else walked out, but for totally different reasons? Former SNL actress and current crazy Fundamentalist Christian Victoria Jackson! First, her “review,” then mine.

Year One made Victoria totally cry! Also she went on a date with Judd Apatow in the ’90s:

Well, today I walked out of a Judd Apatow movie crying. It was the scene where the obese homosexual is fortune-telling by looking at the bowels of a sheep that has been sodomized by a person. The movie was “Year One.” I tried to be open-minded as I watched the first 20 minutes of masturbation, fornication, circumcision jokes, continual penis references, bestiality, violence, and Biblical blasphemy. I told myself this was a PG-13 movie and the writers were “lost” so they didn’t know how vulgar they were being. I looked at the ten-year-old and his father sitting next to me. I must be old-fashioned or something. But, then I noticed no one was laughing. No one was walking out either. I was hoping that the crude jokes were flying over the heads of the poor children who were sitting there wide-eyed and innocent. My daughter is 15 and she loves Jack Black and the guy from “Juno,” so I thought we could have a Mom/teenager date. I asked myself, “Vicki, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling.” As the onscreen obese gay man poked at the bloody intestines and told the fifth anal sex joke, I looked at my daughter, and we got up and walked out. I started crying in the parking lot as we walked to our car. I am not from this world. I am an alien. No wonder me and Apatow never hit it off.

I like to imagine Victoria Jackson counting up the anal sex jokes in her little moleskine anal sex joke notebook. NOW, the funny thing is, I only lasted 45 minutes into this movie but both Vicki and I walked out before it was over, and I don’t remember even ONE anal sex joke, though I’m sure there were a few. My problems with this movie were these:

1. It was for kids.
Year One was PG-13, which is a bad sign. PG-13 movies are awful. It’s like the only thing the MPAA censors from PG-13 movies is any kind of originality or sophistication, comedy-wise. I’m no silly-movie snob — I own Grandma’s Boy on DVD — but the funniest thing I saw in this movie was when Jack Black very slowly ate shit in a closeup, and it wasn’t even actually “funny,” it was just uncomfortable, and I looked away. I probably would have liked Year One when I was 14 and all the old jokes were new to me, but I’m not and they aren’t.

2. The Extreme Annoyingness Of JB
Oh, man, you know, I’m just going to say that everyone has their off-movies, and this was one for JB, who is great. He was really annoyingly Jack-Blacky in this one, though. But I’m going to chalk that up to the fact that, this being a KID’S MOVIE, he didn’t really have to stretch his comic muscles. Was Ben Stiller hilarious in the Night At The Museum movies? I have no idea, but if so he didn’t really have to be.

3. The Lack Of Biblical In-Jokes
When I first heard of Year One, I was kind of excited because I thought there would be more inside-Bible stuff, and having grown up a girl version of Rodd/and or Todd Flanders, I thought I would enjoy a raunchy movie with little Bible in-jokes that only someone who still retained a lot of Sunday School information would know. But nope. That was, admittedly, a dumb wish anyway, but aside from the obvious (Cain and Abel, Sodom and Gomorrah), there wasn’t anything along that vein. In fact, the whole movie was just really obvious, gross-out humor.

In short, I asked myself, “Linds, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me annoyed, very bored, disappointed, and hungry-feeling.” As the onscreen hairy chested gay man made Michael Cera rub oil on his hairy chest, I looked at my watch, and I walked out. I’m sad to say this because there was a lot of great talent involved, but Year One was just a dud. It probably wouldn’t even be funny to a stoned person. (Gasp!) But for real.

So what did you guys think? Did anyone else even SEE it or did they just see The Hangover again or The Proposal “ironically”? Was the last half any better than the first? Did Paul Rudd come back to life after his tiny cameo in the beginning and save the movie?

Comments (94)
  1. I mostly feel the way you do, although I found it disconcerting how hard I laughed when Michael Cera peed all over himself when he was hanging upside down.

  2. I don’t even know what to make of this…I agree with Victoria Jackson and she’s a bag of crazy.

  3. I also walked out. The best (actually the saddest, worst) thing about this movie was that I was given pity-popcorn from a couple of “Urban Teens” because I looked sad, watching this horrible film alone.

    Sorry, “Urban Teens” I was sad because I could have been drinking alone with my $10.25 and I wouldn’t have to see two men phoning it in so hard that they might as well have been in a telecommunications-themed gay porno.

    A telecom-themed gay porn would have been much more fun to watch alone, drunk on $10.25 worth of wine. Great weekend.

  4. I enjoyed Year One more than I enjoyed The Hangover. I approached it expecting it to be very stupid, and very PG-13, and I had a great time. The Hangover wasn’t as good as I hoped it would be, which probably had something to do with seeing the entire movie in trailers.

    I will now prepare myself to be the most negatively voted down comment of the week!

  5. I skipped it, and it looks like I made a good decision.

    Fun fact: Year One originally got an R-rating, so some of the racier jokes had to be chopped. Unfortunately, it looks like they cut the wrong ones.

  6. Yeah, the only laugh I had was the upside down pee scene too, though it’s like the director told Micheal Cera to be as Micheal Cera as possible.
    Olivia Wilde was looking good, though.

  7. I just saw The Proposal instead, and not so ironically. I went in with zero expectations and it was actually pretty funny. Also, Betty White!

  8. i am going to start working “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling” into all of my movie reviews.

  9. typefaced  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +2

    JB didn’t do it for me in the loose collection of skits that I guess constitutes a movie. Michael Cera definitely had all the funny lines and was probably the only reason I stayed until the end.

    I think the biggest problem with this movie was how poorly drawn the characters were. I’m used to underdeveloped female characters in these kinds of flicks, but I was (foolishly) expecting more from Apatow. Even the two leads were one-note. = ( times a million.

    • Apatow was only a producer, so you and Crazyface Victoria Jackson are mistaken in blaming this whole piece of shit on him. Harold Ramis directed and co-wrote it, so most of it falls on his ghostbusting shoulders.

  10. I had a couple of awkward chuckles. Paul Scheer made me smile. And Olivia Wilde was outrageously attractive. I probably give it about a 3.5 out of a possible 10.

    After the Arrested Development movie, I’d like for Michael Cera to formally retire his George Michael Bufuddled Character.

  11. will  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +6

    meh, it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t a walk-out either. micheal cera was enjoyable, but david cross definitely did not live up to expectations. also, more paul rudd please. so much more.

  12. will  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 -12

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  13. daniel  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +12

    Two biggest problems with this movie.
    1) Michael Cera and Jack Black are both one joke actors. For George Michael Bluth: look how sheepish I am. I am so timid. For Jack Black: I’m fat, dumb, and loud (is that 3 jokes?)
    2) David Cross. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dr. Tobias Funke (who says anal sex jokes can’t be funny, Lindsay? Can I get an analrapist please?), but his role in this movie was just plain dreadful. He didn’t have one funny moment. So sad, for the family band solution.

  14. Ladies and Gents, my apologies but I need to hijack this string immediately with the following IMPORTANT NEWS:
    http://gawker.com/5299923/its-fish-wrapper-not-weed-wrapper/gallery/?selectedImage=2
    Say it ain’t so!!
    Lindsay, I have no doubt that I speak for all of the snarky, soulless commenters on this site when I say that you will be missed dearly. Your yin to Gabe’s yang was perfect, and despite all of the cynical comments left on this site, we all come here for one reason. To laugh, smile, and maybe throw up in our mouths. I’m proud to say your posts made me do all of those things many times over.
    This news just gave me a serious case of the Mondays. All the best and keep us posted on where you land. :(
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9VdJA6BCww

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    • Dammit. Where will we get all our Paul Rudd newsflashes and cute animal updates!?

      Double :(

      • anon  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +7

        Unacceptable, Stereogum. This is the worst.

        • Not to get too into it, but nobody at Stereogum or Videogum is to blame. We will all continue to be great friends and supporters of each other. I’ve chosen to aim my anger at the sub-prime credit default derivative swaps, and I’m going to have a little time now to figure out what those were.

          • Then you’d better start listening to This American Life.

          • anon  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +1

            Yup, sorry – I’ll try to stop inappropriately casting about for a scapegoat. Ugh.

          • This blows. In particular I must say that your Joel Bauer posts(“Troy, is that you?”) were simply amazing. And you rekindled my love for Paul Rudd! You must let us know where we can find(stalk) you. At least you look great in that “Lindsay doesn’t have a job anymore” article.

        • I agree it is the worst. Videogum’s budget was cut and the budget was pretty minuscule to begin with. We’re gonna get Lindsay very drunk tonight, though, and you’re all invited.

    • We’re going to need a bigger :(
      I don’t think I’m ready for this love affiar to end Lindsay. Please…..please stay. Can we write a letter to someone?

    • tragedy.

    • I await the site’s name change to ihateslumdogmillionairegum.com

    • JD  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +7

      Lindsay…FIRED?! *falls to knees* NOOOOOOOO!!!

    • Que lastima! I’ll miss Lindsay! Super double :(

    • I was all set to gloat about how I knew better than to see this horrible-looking movie, but now I’m just depressed.

    • hrrmph. this news is the worst.

    • Paul Rudd  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +62

      ugh, concur, this is THE WORST, officially. You’re too delightful to be fired. :( (( Plus who will be Gabe’s love interest in our secret fan-fiction now? (It will be McG.)

    • That sucks big time! :(

      Best of luck.

      PS: I did not watch this movie. I have a fifth sense for this kind of things. The same one that told me Land of the Lost and Taking of Pelham were going to suck.

    • Hi, thank you! Yes, it’s true, the economy blah blah blah. But I’m still here for a little while and I have big plans for my final post, where I will absolutely let you know where you can find me on the internet, whether you want to or not. And Videogum will still be a great site (duh!) I’ll try to get Gabe to institute a memorial Paul Rudd promise in my honor.

    • Thats horrible horrible news! I for one will really miss you! Great luck in whatever is next! :(

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • *screams to the heavens*
      FUCK YOU, ECONOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

      all that zooey deschanel – and for WHAT?
      don’t worry, lindsay. we’ll follow you to the ends of the internet…

      *pours out some liquor for the homie Lindsay*

    • But I love you Lindsay. We all do…

    • Wow, that really bites (hello from 1995). Not for nothing, but I really love the distinctive voices both Lindsay and Gabe bring to the site and think it’ll be weird without Lindsay’s in the mix.

      Besides, who will Gabe Friday Fight with now? Max?

    • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    • Who will I look up to now? Don’t they realize that I need a role model?

      Seriously this is lame and you will be missed.

    • Triple :(  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +16

      No!!!!!!

      Isn’t there some tech guy they could fire instead?
      I’m not going to say quite yet that Videogum is going to lose my readership, but honestly a big part of what made Videogum the best site on the internet (it’s true!) is the balance of Gabe’s snarky posts and Lindsay’s more….heartfelt (but still hilarious!) posts. I remember the one week or so that Lindsay was gone and it was only Gabe blogging for Videogum, and how much I missed reading Lindsay’s posts.

      I’m not saying I speak for everyone, but I think I definitely speak for a decent percentage of the people who read Videogum, that it’s simply not the same site without Gabe and Lindsay.

      Please let Lindsay stay! Where can I make my donation to the “Videogum Is Not The Same Without Lindsay” foundation?

    • Triple :(  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +1

      No!!!!!!

      Isn’t there some tech guy they could fire instead?
      I’m not going to say quite yet that Videogum is going to lose my readership, but honestly a big part of what made Videogum the best site on the internet (it’s true!) is the balance of Gabe’s snarky posts and Lindsay’s more….heartfelt (but still hilarious!) posts. I remember the one week or so that Lindsay was gone and it was only Gabe blogging for Videogum, and how much I missed reading Lindsay’s posts.

      I’m not saying I speak for everyone, but I think I definitely speak for a decent percentage of the people who read Videogum, that it’s simply not the same site without Gabe and Lindsay.

      Please let Lindsay stay! Where can I make my donation to the “Videogum Is Not The Same Without Lindsay” foundation?

    • Ugh. I’m sorry too, Lindsay. You will be missed so so much, and that’s from one former Rodd and Todd Flanders to another.

    • The true reason Friday Fights were cancelled. :(

    • langford  |   Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 +1

      Let me be super late to the party and say goodbye and good luck to Lindsay. I hope you keep blogging, even if you’re not paid for it.

    • Sean  |   Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 +1

      Terrible news. Terrible.

    • I feel like this is all the fault of buenosuenos, the vicious troll. Lindsay, whatever you do, don’t accept a position at GOOP!

    • Oh LAME! Lindsay is the gum holding Videogum together. Now it’s just going to be, Video.

  15. david  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 +7

    according to wikipedia, victoria jackson recently starred in a film called THOU SHALT LAUGH 2: THE DEUCE. comedy game, set, and match ms. jackson.

    http://theecstatictruth.tumblr.com/

  16. I went in with very low expectations and they were both met and, in some ways, exceeded. I certainly never thought once about walking out (that’s a waste of $11, dawg) I actually think my patience was rewarded with a pretty good, albeit totally predictable, ending. What can I say, it appealed to the 14 year-old boy in me, and it was a totally miserable weekend weatherwise in NY, so that helped.

    And to Victoria Jackson, I would like to just say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t listening, all my brain blood was in my boner”.

  17. Who walks out of movies? You’ve already sat through most of it – what if there was one redeemable thing and you missed it and then people say, “but what about when that thing happened?” and you go, “oh, i didn’t see that” and then when it comes on cable you have to sit through the whole thing again, just to catch that one thing, which may or may not make you feel better about the movie.

    I just don’t walk out of movies. I will suck it up the whole 120 minutes before i give it a review.

    Having said that, no, there was nothing better about the second half of this one. I didn’t hate it (i certainly didn’t walk out) but I didn’t love it. It was Jack Black being Jack Black and Michael Cera being Michael Cera, and even though I enjoy those things sometimes, it was all old news and no surprises.

  18. Plunko  |   Posted on Jun 22nd, 2009 0

    My reaction was actually the opposite of Lindsay’s #3. Maybe in Canada (excepting Alberta, of course) we just don’t have quite the same level of basic Biblical knowledge burned into our brains as children, but I kept thinking that the context for some of the Bible riffs was lacking. During the Abraham/Isaac and Lilith bits, I felt like there was some contextual joke I was missing out on. That said, Lilith being gay wasn’t any funnier after I wikipedia’d her backstory. So basically, it was extremely stupid and unfunny whether you went to Sunday school or not.

    However, I have to admit, with not a small degree of shame, that there was one thing in the movie that actually made me laugh, and that thing was Jack Black’s “I’m peeing on my face too… on the inside.”

  19. I felt like the only one in the theater who laughed at Paul Scheer’s overly enthusiastic volunteer-slave. I’m pretty confident that I was right, because I was the only one in the theater who didn’t laugh at Jack Black eating shit.

  20. ?I said to the girl, ?Hey, was it good for you, too?? And she said, ?Well, I guess it?ll get better eventually.? Sadly, she wasn?t right. It wasn?t better for her or any of the women who subsequently agreed to sleep with me.?

    Judd Apatow in Playboy this month (via
    Aziz is Bored
    )

  21. well that completely sucks. suddenly i feel bad for complaining about my sore back today. best of luck and godspeed lindsay

  22. I’m sorry to say this, but is anyone actually surprised that this movie was bad? Not to be “that guy,” but I’m just saying that looking at just the trailers this did not look great at all…
    Also, pee jokes? Really?!

  23. e! really needs to give victoria jackson a show.

  24. Yeah, I think we need to have a party a la that one episode of The Office where they partied via webcam.

    That or I’ll just drown my sorrows in a bottle of Absolut while going through Lindsays articles.

  25. I did naaat see this movie, I did naaaat!… oh hi, Lindsay

  26. no lindsay! i’ve youtube favorited like 75% of the videos you post here. your posts make me so happy :( i’m sad you’re leaving. good luck! and seriously, fuck the economy.

  27. “I must be old-fashioned or something.”

    I don’t think ‘something’ quite covers what you are Miss Jackson.

    “I asked myself, “Vicki, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling.”"

    Why do I suspect she conducted that exchange with herseld out loud?

  28. I’m not a big Jack Black fan (sorry, but there it is) but I love Michael Cera being Michael Cera so I sort of expected to only like it half the time…. which is pretty much what ended up happening. I don’t know if Cera has any abilities to be anything but himself but he’s definitely good at what he does.
    I didn’t especially appreciate the poop eating/upsidedown peeing/anal jokes, but my teenage stepbrothers did, so we all got something out of it, I guess.

  29. it’s a good thing this movie sucked so bad so we can use this thread for more important things. this is ridiculous. So now videogum is just going to be corporate-casual v2.0? I remember when lindsayism was the talk of the east coast bias liberal media elite, and gabe was just some copywriter/temp something in a fat people midwest town, writing about how cool karate class is and sweaty people at the gym. did you try asking them if they knew who you were, lindsay? DID YOU?

  30. The end credits — in which a train rumbles by off screen and Jack Black screams, “It’s a GORGON FROM ANOTHER TIIIIIME!” — was great. But it’s never a good sign when the blooper reel is the funniest part of your movie. (Schindler’s List had the same problem.)

  31. “I’ll be right back to cut off your penises.”

  32. Why does Victoria Jackson seem as offended by obesity as she is by homosexuality? She’s so offended by “continual penis references.” but she goes on a date with her own DAUGHTER? That is breaking at least three commandments. No wonder you left sobbing, Victoria Jackson. Deep down, you know what kind of a person you are.

  33. Is Victoria Jackson bus driver Stu’s girlfriend from Pete and Pete?

    Year One made me real sad. So many people that we’ve rooted for for years; the underdogs that just needed to be given a chance to step out of their supporting rom-com roles, etc. So they’re finally all assembled in one place and the results are Disappointment Central Station. I think putting Harold Ramis in charge was the first problem. Gabe and Lindsay need to bake Harold Ramis a cake. BAD director. I think he was going for that kind of movie where at the end you’re thinking, “I can’t believe we’ve ended up here from where we started!” but we’ve actually just been staring at confused extras for the entire movie. I wish I’d seen The Proposal (actually, yeah, because I caught that movie Waiting on Comedy Central the same day and that guy was surprisingly funny in that movie that was surprisingly ok.) The only redemption came with Bill Hader’s DDL impression in the credits.

  34. Kiki  |   Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 +1

    ‘It probably wouldn’t even be funny to a stoned person. ‘

    This really is the yardstick, isn’t it? It’s what I said about The Coreys, the biggest disappointment of the 21st century. Because if it is funny to stoners, at least it has some redeeming value. But if it’s not, all that’s left are stupid ‘tweens and babies who like bright colors.

  35. designer  |   Posted on Jun 23rd, 2009 0

    i didn’t finish reading your review, but you scored some majore nerd cred for mentioning a moleskine.

  36. Aw man. Say it ain’t so. Well let me just weigh in here that you have seriously made me laff in your residency here at Videogum, you really have a voice and this chick was hearing it. You will be dearly missed. And followed!

  37. i actually thought i was the only one who found Jack Black annoying. i felt kinda bad for that too since hes usually pretty funny, but everyone in the movie theater laughed at all the bad, gross jokes and i was just like. “wtf? this is lame..” unfortunately, i couldnt walk out because i was with a couple of friends and they “loved it”. i was very disappointed.

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