We are the little girl, the suitcase is Friday, and the dad is the passage of time. HURRY UP, DAD! WE’RE BARELY HANGING ON HERE! (Via DailyPicks.)
My alarm clock this morning was “She Found Now” by My Bloody Valentine. And when I heard its soothing dissonance I thought about letting it go on forever while I slept in and missed work.
Can you set your phone to play a specific song when the alarm goes off? If so, I choose Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster every morning.
Yes I can. My favorites are either obnoxious, overtly sexual, or soothing. (Kanye’s “On Sight,” Ciara’s “Body Party,” or “She Found Now.”) Depends on what mood I’m in before I go to bed, usually.
I can’t set my phone to a song because it usually is to loud and scares me awake which is the worst. I wake up to the harps tone on iphone
Most of the time I don’t even care about the person sitting next to me when I’m exhausted at the airport. Especially when I find out both of my flights put me in the middle seat.
Jimmy Fallon was right. When I sleep on a plane, I’m basically showing everyone what my corpse will look like.
Really he said corpse? I imagine more like a passed out after a night of drinking delicious intoxicating beverages. Damn, now I want a beer.
So recently I had to fly to Texas and I decided not to use Delta, but instead went with Southwest. What a difference that made. Southwest was quick to board the plane, quick to depart, quick to get people the fuck out of the plane, etc. They were just the speediest. Where as Delta had endless flight delays the last three times I flew with them, a couple cancellations, and a flight attendant who forced me to have a snack on the plane.
“Pretzels, cookies, or peanuts?”
“None, thank you.”
“I said, pretzels, cookies, or peanuts, sir”
“AND I SAID NONE!”
Southwest is the best best best, except it flies out of Midway in Chicago and that’s a pain to get to. Seriously, though, how is it that every other airline is so terrible at boarding? HOW?
On my last flight, which was United (I know, they’re awful, but they’re always the cheapest and it was a 1.5 hour flight, so I didn’t care), there was an American Airlines flight right across from us, going to the same city and airport, that was majorly delayed for some stupid (non-weather related, etc) reason. I just remember boarding as the big group of AA passengers watched us mournfully. I felt like we were leaving them behind on a post-apocalyptic wasteland as we boarded the spaceship to the super-swank new Mars colony, or something.
Before that flight, though, the woman at the front counter outside the gate gave me some attitude as well.
“Hi, I noticed that the flight to San Antonio has been delayed four times now, going from a 1:20 departure to a 5:40 departure. Do you happen to know what’s going on?”
“Sir, I’m currently boarding a different flight and cannot think to answer your question.”
ugh your that guy huh
I don’t mean to be a downer, but are we sure this girl is okay? Maybe someone should double-check just so we know that Dad isn’t trying to hide a body in plain sight. Ooof!
Hiding a dead child’s body in plain sight… Movie idea.
Playdate at Bernies.
Don’t tell mom the babysittee’s dead.
Shawna’s A Dead
There Will Be Napping.
I overslept and was late to work too, so I am this adorably little girl today. Do not take my adorableness littleness from me, world!
This makes me miss my niece, who is only tolerable when she is sleeping. JK, Connie! Auntie Flanny loves you, mostly!!!!!
If I could have a super power it would be to have little kids’ ability to pass out anywhere, no matter what the circumstances. I could really use that ability right now.
I couldn’t do this even when I was a kid. I needed to be in my bed, in total darkness, with a fan going, etc. My body is such a prima donna.
I couldn’t either! my mom said I never slept as a kid, I think she’s still bitter to this day.
Sleep is dumb.
SAME! I remember countless nap times in pre-school and kindergarten spent staring at the ceiling bored out of my mind. You expect me to sleep on some little plastic mat that’s only marginally better than being on the ground outright? Think again, teach.
In pre-k I would pretend to sleep and wonder how all my classmates were suddenly able to nap on command.
I believe the technical term for that is Japanese.
I woke up ONE MINUTE before my alarm went off this morning, which should be a good thing because it means I got a lot of sleep, but prefer to wake up around 15-20 minutes early because then I get some laze-around-in-bed time and don’t have to hop right up and haul my tired bum to the shower.
I did that, but then I fell back to sleep without realizing it. My body hates August.
I said something to a friend about how August is going to be kind of a rough month for me and she turned to me and said “August is the darkest month” and I can’t get over how right she was
I mean I’m glad the weather isn’t searing, but I just want to sleep until Halloween.
It’s the yearly equivalent of the 3:00 PM crash.
Someone just suggested Henry Rollins be on our school’s diversity speaker series. Henry fucking Rollins. I considered writing to explain what ‘diversity’ meant but then I saw this clip and thought. Nah. I’ll just flop onto a suitcase. Save myself the rage exhaustion.
Haha, nice. What would he even talk about?!?!
Our department’s speaker series contemplated asking Mayim Bialik to give a talk since she has a background in Neuroscience. And then the smarter people in our department said, “She’s an actress now, working on a stupid show. I can guarantee she won’t know anything new about the science to give an hour-long talk.”
I get the silliness of a white dude as diversity speaker, but Rollins does have a history as an activist. And he’s got this:
I’m so jealous of this little girl. I cannot sleep in public for the life of me, so every once in a while I end up with the “I’ve been up for 28 hours” manic airport stare. Good times.
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