Parenthood‘s fifth season begins on Thursday, September 26th. A MONTH+ AWAY! Uggghh, I want it nowwwwuh! How is Crosby?! Is the Luncheonette still okay? Has the beautiful adopted boy chilled out at all, or is he still a maniac? Is the non-adopted daughter still terrible? IS HADDIE DEAD OR ALIVE?! I NEEEEED TO KNOWWWWWW. Luckily, NBC released a few promotional photos from the upcoming season on Pinterest today. (Sure.) They don’t explicitly tell us much, but since we are pop culture aficionados I think we can use our expertise to read into them a bit. In this first one, it looks like Amber and Ryan are back together! See? This will be fun, come on, let’s take a look at the others!

Oooookay. So, it looks like Grandma has a letter. I don’t know what Grandpa is fixing. A lamp? She’s like, “I need to talk to you about this letter!” And he’s like, “Not now, I’m fixing a lamp. Can we talk when I’m finished?” And she’s like, “You know, no, I’d really like to talk about it now.” And he’s just like, “It’ll only be a few minutes.” But then she says, “Now.” And he’s just like ooookay, here we go!

What your eye goes to first in this photo is: “No Personal.” No personal what? RELATIONSHIPS? Because Ray Romano had to move to where his daughter lives, so he could spend more time with her, even though Lorelai had already chosen him over her young boyfriend, meaning that at that point Lorelai was left with no boyfriends? Very tricky, but I think we nailed it!

Amber has a new job that she’s never done before and is a bit unsure of but is immediately very good at. She’s smiling at Ryan, who is out of the frame. “C’mon, babe, let’s go do something, you’re working too hard,” he says. Then she says, “You know I’d love to, but I’m just so swamped,” and then he interrupts her with a kiss. You think she’s going to give in, but she just goes back to work. Hah! Later, though, they have a lot of fun. “See, isn’t this better than working so hard?” Ryan will say. “Hmmmmm,” Amber will say, pretending like she has to think about it. “CAAHMOON!” Ryan will say, giggling.

“Whoooaaa, buddy. There have to be some rules in the Luncheonette, and I’m the rule guy — I’m gonna make ‘em, and you’re gonna take ‘em.” – Adam

Oh, no personal CHECKS. It looks like Max either flew to wherever Ray Romano lives in order to give him this piece of paper, or Ray Romano doesn’t move to be with his daughter in order to stay near Lorelai. Or maybe just for another nonsense reason, and he doesn’t even tell Lorelai that he never moved, and later Max is going to be like, “So I gave Ray Romano this piece of paper earlier today,” and Lorelai is going to be like, “Wait, you gave WHO a piece of paper today?!” And Max will say, “WHOM. I gave WHOM A PIECE OF PAPER TODAY.” And Lorelai will be like, “Jeeze, Max, okay, but whom did you say? Ray Romano? MY Ray Romano? I think you’re mistaken, he lives somewhere else, near where his daughter lives.” And Max will just be like, “Well I gave him the piece of paper so I don’t know wtf you’re talking about.” Lorelai won’t really believe him, but then she’ll walk by Ray’s old place anyway. Just to check, right? And then — WHAT!! HE IS THERE! “I dedn’t waaanyouudoobe maaad at me,” he’ll say in his Ray Romano voice. What?! He is the worst. “MAD AT YOU? I LOVE YOU! I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, AND ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE HERE!” “Well, yooue knooww, youue didn’t aassk,” he’ll say in his Ray Romano voice. What?!

Well, we still have over a month to wait until the new episodes, but I think we did a decent job of figuring out a few of the upcoming plot lines! Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you in September!

Comments (16)
  1. You left out the part where they manipulate our emotions to make us cry.

    • You can’t see it if you don’t look reeeeeeeeeeally hard, but each of these pictures has the sound of millions of people quietly sobbing alone on their couches, like a watermark.

  2. What does any of this have to do with the Monster fantasy football league, which is what I really would prefer to talk about? You guys, I am so PUMPED for this! I don’t even like football! I had to drag my nerdy ass over to Wikipedia just to find out what the positions are! Pumped anyway!

  3. I hope Guacamole has an expanded role this season, because that is my sole critique of this show. Everything else should stay the same forever.

  4. Wait, is that the Friends apartment in the first picture?

  5. Another sticker on Ray’s camera counter says “Please Seat Yourself.” What?! It’s a photo place! Who is sitting? And if he means, “Please seat yourselves for the family photos I am going to be taking in my studio” then what am I even paying you for, Ray?

  6. I hope one of the pictures shows one of the characters realizing they’re talking over another one of the characters, so the first character shuts his/her mouth and actually listens. And then Flanny doesn’t have to pull her hair out and scream, “EVERYONE STOP TALKING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME!” and she can actually enjoy the whole hour instead of having to stop halfway through to put her head between her knees and take calming breaths.

  7. First off, that is the best written Ray Romano impression I’ve ever read. Truly spot-on.

    Second off, this reminded me that I need to go to the store and get some actual tissues for my house so I’m not always blowing cry-snot holes in my toilet paper and getting cry-snot all on my hands.

  8. I saw them filming a scene in Burbank today. I don’t watch the show and couldn’t see what was happening and they shoot there all the time, but, spoilers, some characters will be walking down a street they have walked down before on an upcoming episode.

  9. I wish I could participate but darn it all to heck, I only watched the first two seasons. I shed one too many tears to keep going. The cats were judging.

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