Date: August 8, 2013
Time Incident Occurred: 2:00 PM EST
Description Of People: Escape artist Anthony Martin; wears facial hair in a goatee; in interview portion of video wears blue t-shirt and black baseball cap; lunatic who possesses the type of bravery that only comes with being completely insane; daredevil; skilled escape artist; promoting his book; fucking nuts. (Note — Possible no family?)
Observation: While locked and chained inside of a coffin, escape artist attempted to escape his chains, make sure the box didn’t spin because if the box began to spin the centrifugal force would keep him locked inside of the coffin even if he did manage to break out of his chainsexit the coffin, sky dive far enough away from the coffin that the coffin would not hit him, pull his parachute, and parachute safely to the ground. Notes that he is glad the coffin did not hit or damage anyone or anything when it landed, part of the nightmare that some might have not even thought about until he mentioned it. Comprises, at the very least, five different nightmares.
Nightmare Rating: Complete nightmare.

ANTHONY! (Via Gawker.)

Comments (19)
  1. Notes that he is glad the coffin did not hit or damage anyone or anything when it landed, part of the nightmare that some might have not even thought about until he mentioned it.

    This is really upsetting, crazy man! Did you even take out insurance to protect against property damage caused by plummeting coffin? Go to your room, Anthony! Just wait until your father gets home!

  2. I’ll stick with Dumpster Dan, thanks.

  3. The emergency plan in case everything did not work was for Anthony to drink a bottle of Robitussin, as it has been clinically proven to effectively stop coffin.

  4. What makes someone say to themselves “I want to escape from a locked coffin while sky diving”? What? Seriously. This guy should be slapped for tempting fate.

  5. You couldn’t have wine and cheese at Jonathan Franzen’s apartment like a normal fucking author?

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