Photos
The premier episode of Top Chef Masters last week was so boring. The show just seemed to lack any real drama or the tension of actual stakes. Sure, it’s still up in the air WHICH completely deserving charity will get the big payout at the end, and I suppose I am curious what the Finals Round will be, but for the time being: pass me the pillows with a side of blanket, because I am going to sleep!
Nevertheless, I watched last night. I wanted to give the show another chance. Perhaps I had missed something in the first episode, or maybe the chemistry of the original four chefs was particularly undynamic and anti-enthralling. Besides, the elimination challenge was going to be Lost-themed! The question is not what is the elimination challenge but WHEN, etc. Also, Wylie Dufresne was competing. I have heard of him!
So, was last night’s episode any better?
Nope! I guess it was mildly interesting to watch Wylie Dufresne simultaneously bungle the challenges (“I don’t mean to be rude, but there is no chicken on my dish”) and continue to run around with the belief that his haircut is acceptable. And actually it was also nice to see his friendship with Graham Elliot Bowles, because as much as I like ruthless murder competition, it’s also great when two total experts genuinely appreciate each other’s talent. Just two men appreciating each other’s talent all over the place. In the kitchen and everywhere. What?
But for the second week in a row the whole thing was just…tepid. An hour long glass of lukewarm water. Sure, we found out that the writers of Lost are just as nerdy as we might expect, and it’s also becoming clear that every week pairs three expert chefs with one fall guy. Last week it was Johnny Texas, and this week it was Sally Pastry.
I think that the extent of this show’s problems is completely evident in this clip. This sums the whole thing up perfectly:
Seriously? Couldn’t cook up (get it? You get it) any more enthusiasm for this? We sat through an hour of this show to watch Suzanne Tracht sleepwalk her way through victory. If the competitors can’t even be bothered to get excited about this, how can we? Get hungry, you chefs! (Get it? You get it.)
Goodbye, Top Chef Masters*. I’m bored and you ruined my pants.
*Maybe I will watch the finals. MAYBE.
 |
 |
Totally agree that everyone on the show is boring and on sleeping pills. The host, who I will call not-Padma because she is not worth knowing her name, is the worst also. Luckily this leaves you plenty of time for the real program to watch on Wednesday nights and write about – I Survived a Japanese Game Show. MAJIDE! Did you know it spread across the country? (It did not spread across the country)
This is whats wrong with everything… losers don’t really lose. I can’t deal with this shit! Shoulda gone like “No no no no no!! Get your god damned hat and red glasses out of here Chubber! Empty handed! Or, push four croque monsieurs in to your cakehole and we’ll think about giving your charity a few bucks.
only 30 days until “500 Days of Summer”!!!
Also, I forgot to mention that if Wylie Dufresne had been an actual contestant on Opposite Top Chef and he tried to make that grilled cheese bullshit as an amuse bouche he would have been taken to the woodshed! Those were too big! An amuse bouche, I have learned from Top Chef, is one bite! Maybe two! Molecular Getthehelloutofhere!
Exactly. They crucified past cheftestants for amuse bouche’s being too large. Suzanne Tracht’s had a fucking side salad! Two bites my ass.
Seriously, if you’re looking for an excellent cooking competition show, watch Chopped on Food Network. There’s not much in the way of reality TV tropes, backstory, etc. but the competition is frenzied and compelling. And the competitors actually act like they want to win!
they should have really called that show “Who Sucks the Least?” because that’s what always winds up happening.
The problem is absolutely that the competitors simply don’t care. They look bored when they cook and frankly – as famous professional chefs – are a lot sloppier in the kitchen than a lot of the lame losers on regular Top Chef. I think the show would be a lot better if the chefs were competing for $100k for themselves instead of $10k for a charity.
Suzanne Tracht reacted like she got 20 dollars off the new washing machine she just purchased. Im going back to bed.
my favorite part of the entire show is that hubert’s silhouette is used for all six of the finalist boxes. he has such long hair. nobody else will have a silhouette close to his. amazing, top chef. you’ve mastered silhouettes (sorry, i had to.).
I kinda like the calm, friendly version. I’d hate it if all the cooking shows were like that, but it’s a nice tonic to *Chopped*, *Hell’s Kitchen*, and the like.
And I, for one, don’t hold Susan Tracht’s emotive disorder against her.
The other night I saw Johnny Texas (Tim Love) cook rattlesnake on Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. Now that’s a Top Chef Masters challenge I could get excited to watch, plus it would be nice to watch an episode of Top Chef for once and not immediately get hungry.
Why does the host/judge of a show about food, look like she doesn’t eat?