Gawker interviewed porn star James Deen about his work in the new movie The Canyons, which also stars Lindsay Lohan, and was written by Brett Easton Ellis and directed by Paul Schrader. (Do you like how I am explaining what The Canyons is to you as if you are a little baby? We all know what The Canyons is, Gabe!) I’m sure James Deen has lots of really important things to say about the art of acting, and you are welcome to read all of it, heck start a James Deen Interview google alert and go nuts! But it’s what he has to say about the way he deals with potential criticism that really hits home. I think we could all benefit from his wisdom:

What the hell do I care what these people think? If it’s not on The Simpsons it doesn’t exist and most of the people I meet aren’t on The Simpsons. If I met Alec Baldwin and he made me feel like shit I might be a little hurt, because he was on The Simpsons. What do I care if some producer who worked for Steven Spielberg says something insulting? Who cares? You’re not on The Simpsons, go fuck yourself.

Seriously. This is a good rule! It does mean that you have to be a little more careful around Harvey Fierstein, Cloris Leachman, Penny Marshall, and Sting because you don’t want them to hurt your feelings. But otherwise, if you follow James Deen’s advice of literally believing that nothing outside of the world of The Simpsons has any meaning, importance, or affect on you, I think you’re going to find yourself feeling more confident. Maybe even invincible. Worry about yourself and worry about The Simpsons and that’s IT! And if some loser who worked for Steven Spielberg (the world is full of them) tries to give you any attitude you just tell them “You’re not on The Simpsons, go fuck yourself.”

Comments (32)
  1. “Soderbergh did it! Soderbergh did it!”*

    *Have a pornstar be a leading role in a movie.

    • I love Soderbergh — his streak of great work from Haywire to the pretty damn enjoyable commercial stuff like Magic Mike is unprecedented — but The Girlfriend Experience was terrible.

      The only interesting thing was the insight into how people always wanted to know “what it was like” to be a prostitute and how everyone’s questioning of the call girl was nearly identical.

      To be fair, NYer gave Deen OK marks, though they said he speaks too quickly.

  2. But what if they worked for Steven Spielberg’s non-union Mexican equivalent Señor Spielbergo?

  3. Do you like The Simpsons? I’ve been a big fan ever since the release of their 1989 Christmas episode, Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire where Matt Groening’s presence became more apparent. I think The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show was the their undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on cartoons.

  4. WHERE ARE THE RETROSPECTIVES.

  5. It’s really painful seeing Sonny Rollins and Justin Bieber next to each other in that list of guest stars.

  6. Since I’m about to leave on vacation and miss the probably tearful final Gabe monster’s ball, I just wanted to give a personal non sequitorial thank you for fostering the most fun and friendly comment board there is on the internet. Your writing left people appalled and your ingenious trampoline video links were so good they were addictive. and before you leave writing articles online GO FUCK YOURSELF.

    Videogum is forever fan love you

  7. in my family we have this same rule, but it applies to futurama. every sunday family dinner eventually turns into a discussion of futurama.

  8. Gabe I will be away for the final post today so I’ll add my nonsequitor as well. You’ve built something so great here. I made my first comment on the day Kelly started and from the very beginning you and your ridiculously funny monsters have made me feel accepted (despite my lame uncool-ness!). I thank you for choosing Kelly for her dream job and for all of your hard work to keep us entertained.

  9. I met David Crosby when I was covering a music thing in college and told him that I was super excited to meet because he was the first person that I had met who had been animated on the Simpsons (and I grew up on his music but whatever, most kids my age did) but that Simpsons thing — and to be Troy’s sponsor — well, THAT was the coolest thing ever. So then I asked him questions about the TV show instead of his music, which I think he enjoyed because it changed up the monotony a bit. He started laughing, alot. Then said no one had ever said that to him in his +30 years of being a famous rock star. He called me Simpsons girl for the rest of the day and passed on my fandom of his TV work to other rock stars and handlers at the event and would wave to me and start belly-laughing whenever he saw me or we’d make eye contact in the press tent.

    So, James Deen would be impressed by this story. That is my point.

  10. This is how I am going to handle random assholes on the subway. “You weren’t on the Simpsons, go fuck yourself.” They will not know what hit them.

  11. “You’re not on The Simpsons, go fuck yourself.” Gonna save this gem for my boss during my performance review.

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