What do we have if not our honesty? What do we have if not our ability to hear what others say and accept it as the truth, no questions asked? Walls around our heart, built with lies on a foundation of distrust, held together by distance. And to those who plant the seed of suspicion in our otherwise open hearts, well — they are the worst of all. Star Magazine, we’ve always looked upon you with kind eyes and a willingness to believe. We loved and allowed ourselves to feel loved without the looming specter of doubt. And now? Now, after you told us that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux spend a large amount of their private time nude, and in fact consider themselves nudists, and in fact even cook nude, citing a source close to the couple, as you often do, Jennifer Aniston herself appears on Chelsea Lately and denies that she and Justin Theroux spend no more time nude than the appropriate amount of time nude. What are we supposed to believe now, Star Magazine? How are we supposed to reconcile the fact that two sources we trust with our whole heart — Star Magazine and Jennifer Aniston — tell two different stories?! IS JENNIFER ANISTON REALLY A NUDIST OR WHAT?!?!

Oh, sometimes it’s all just too much to bare.*

*Intentional.
Comments (16)
  1. Thank goodness. She’s safe from the bacon grease splashes. We can all sleep soundly tonight.

  2. HOW DO you guys KNOW I HAVEN’T been NUDE ALL these years?

  3. My first reaction to merely reading the title of this was, “Well with her body, I sure hope so.”

  4. I have been sitting here trying to figure out what the “appropriate amount of time nude” means exactly, and I got nothin’.

  5. Not that I care, but The Star could have tried to make a big deal about Jennifer being the opposite of a nudist.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.